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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think there are a lot of nasty people on Mumsnet?

287 replies

Poile · 09/01/2024 14:31

Just that.

Have seen so many directly aggressive and passively aggressive comments on here that it makes me think that many mumsnetters are just plain nasty. Assuming to due to unhappiness with own life.

Some examples stick out - when people ask to guess their age some of the guesses are just rude and over the top inaccurate. One poster even questioned a person’s gender even stating they had thick eyebrows which were not groomed due to depression. The disingenuous of “please don’t think I’m being rude but …”.

Also saw someone ask for help with their curtains and the amount of snide remarks was shocking.

I also think a lot of people in here think their way is best and the only way. Insufferable.

To me the people who will kick a person when they are down just seems disproportionately high. Obviously the fact it’s an anonymous forum adds to this.

OP posts:
Brefugee · 09/01/2024 15:17

Poile · 09/01/2024 15:06

I once mentioned I attended a grammar school in a post which had a spelling mistake (dyslexia) and was told “I hope you’re lying with those grammar skills”

and? it's a twatty thing to say that says more about the poster than you. Move along with your life or report it if you think it goes against the rules (when you click "report post" you are given a range of options including "other - please specify" and a nice big text box)

jacks90 · 09/01/2024 15:17

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Yeah OP I think you have a clear example here. Calling another poster "numpty" for no reason. Ridiculous 🤣

PossumintheHouse · 09/01/2024 15:17

A lovely, ironic descent on this joyful thread, I see.

NonPlayerCharacter · 09/01/2024 15:16

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We're talking about the kind of posts that MRAs and the like join to make. No, you're right that it's not stuff about hairdryers, but you're very wrong that they aren't here while posing as women at all. Emma.

Emmainexile · 09/01/2024 15:14

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Ahsoka2001 · 09/01/2024 15:13

ilovesooty · 09/01/2024 14:40

There was one only yesterday.

Show quote history

If lots of people say something it's probably true I guess? If Mumsnetters weren't so nasty in the first place we wouldn't need to make so many threads

Emmainexile · 09/01/2024 15:13

@NonPlayerCharacter nope, not one person has said women are worse than men online.

NonPlayerCharacter · 09/01/2024 15:12

Emmainexile · 09/01/2024 15:11

@NonPlayerCharacter and were those posters being snarky or abusive?

As I’ve said, certain posts yes attract people posing on this site. But I can’t imagine why a man would create a fake account pretending to be a woman just to be mean to sally wondering why her hairdryer isn’t making her hair glossy anymore

Yes of course they were, and glossy hair is not the kind of content we're talking about, so please stop moving the goalposts. Emma.

LlynTegid · 09/01/2024 15:12

It's not just here, indeed given the moderation it is not as bad as many other social media sites. Not that two wrongs make a right of course.

FedUpMadam · 09/01/2024 15:12

I made a thread and was laughed and ridiculed because of spelling mistakes as i'm not English . And was called "trashy" for some reason 😂

i also got loads of support and advice . But i did ask for thread to be deleted ..

NonPlayerCharacter · 09/01/2024 15:11

Emmainexile · 09/01/2024 15:08

@NonPlayerCharacter who has said women are worse than men online?

Several posters. Scroll back. Sorry, I'm not screenshooting the thread for you.

Emmainexile · 09/01/2024 15:11

@NonPlayerCharacter and were those posters being snarky or abusive?

As I’ve said, certain posts yes attract people posing on this site. But I can’t imagine why a man would create a fake account pretending to be a woman just to be mean to sally wondering why her hairdryer isn’t making her hair glossy anymore

NonPlayerCharacter · 09/01/2024 15:09

Emmainexile · 09/01/2024 15:06

@NonPlayerCharacter they’re often being dicks on other forums I’d bet.

to genuinely think men are posing as women just to snark is laughable.

when people are actively being rude on certain topics yes I’d get your point, but general snark? Nah

It's not laughable, it's quite patently true. I don't know why you think it's so unlikely. We have loads of clear MRAs on here. Very very clear.

gothicomedy · 09/01/2024 15:09

I remember joining Gransnet for a while and thinking it would be much gentler and more polite than Mumsnet. On the face of it, that's true. But when you've been posting for a while you spot the same names constantly coming on to put other people down or belittle their views. So it's obviously ingrained in some people's personalities and not something people grow out of.

ShinyAppleDreamingOfTheSea · 09/01/2024 15:08

@GotBeatenUp
Relationships is a perfect example of where people are unnecessarily snide to others.

I think there are a lot of made up threads on there and I don't know whether some posters approach it that situations aren't real - but if that's what you suspect either report or stay away.

Fairylights21 · 09/01/2024 15:08

I get it but there are also some crazy OPs on here at times. Where they ask for an opinion, don’t get what they want and then seem to call everyone names for not agreeing with them.

One sticks out in my head recently about someone complaining their colleagues weren’t doing their exact hours sat at their desks but did their jobs. The OP wasn’t very happy that they didn’t follow the rules exactly and got very heated in responses. I did flag that one as I think the person needed help with their mental health.

Theres defo a few people who should be kinder in their responses but occasionally I do think the OP needs to open to other ideas / responses.

Emmainexile · 09/01/2024 15:08

@NonPlayerCharacter who has said women are worse than men online?

CarterBeatsTheDevil · 09/01/2024 15:08

The thing that really gets my goat is posters carping about grammar and spelling errors in the OP or using them as evidence of sub-par intelligence. I really can't stand it.

alltootired · 09/01/2024 15:08

And I would never post on here about difficulties with parenting unless inconsequential. It is not a supportive space.

foilsilver · 09/01/2024 15:08

Poile · 09/01/2024 14:52

But why are the rude comments very rarely called out? Surely them going unchallenged is part of the problem.

I often seem to be the only person in some threads saying “please be nice, OP has clearly stated x is getting them down”. Often met with more snide remarks.

I suppose it all depends on what you consider rude. This is the whole issue. When there are a large number of people talking about an issue you will get a wider range of opinions, and communication style than you would with a small number of real life friends.
Also if the topic is one of home decor or hair styles I personally think that people don't need to be as delicate compared to more serious issues.

Emmainexile · 09/01/2024 15:08

@PossumintheHouse its factually true though.

also it’s hardly a diverse range of members. The vast majority of posters are white women of a certain age. That is a fact.

NonPlayerCharacter · 09/01/2024 15:08

namelessnameface · 09/01/2024 15:05

@NonPlayerCharacter of course they are/ can be. But women are another kettle of fish.
(I am also a woman.. I just cannot stand the bitchiness of other women, personally)

I've never received a death or rape threat online from a woman, nor had one try to find me in reality. Can't say the same for men.

Sorry, but while I would agree that MN isn't the most shining example of the best of humanity, I can't agree that women are worse than men online and I think it smacks of "not like other girls".

SerafinasGoose · 09/01/2024 15:06

NonPlayerCharacter · 09/01/2024 15:02

Yeah you're so right, men are never dicks online.

Show quote history

Behaving like a dick is genderless. It can happen to all of us from time to time. For some it's a more constant affliction than others.

Original poster
Poile · 09/01/2024 15:06

I once mentioned I attended a grammar school in a post which had a spelling mistake (dyslexia) and was told “I hope you’re lying with those grammar skills”

OP posts:
Emmainexile · 09/01/2024 15:06

@NonPlayerCharacter they’re often being dicks on other forums I’d bet.

to genuinely think men are posing as women just to snark is laughable.

when people are actively being rude on certain topics yes I’d get your point, but general snark? Nah