To think there are a lot of nasty people on Mumsnet?

Its there on reddit but in most of the more civilised subs it gets downvoted to oblivion so you never see it.

There's nothing funny or water off a duck's back about this post. A lot of ill-informed sneering though.

There were a lot of snarks on that recent thread from a woman whose children got Babybel wax on their grandmother's white sofa, along the lines of 'why can't you control your children when they're eating, it's all your fault' etc etc. Yes it's depressing and nasty at times.

Oh absolutely, there’s a very specific brand of arsehole you often see on mumsnet that I’ve not really encountered outside of the site. Sometimes you can just tell that they think they’re being so hilarious and clever while sticking the boot into whichever poster they’ve taken against, and it’s just really gross and embarrassing to witness. Behaviour more suited to a site aimed at teenagers rather than grown women imo, but here we are!

I mean, there are no rape-focussed boards/threads on here that I'm aware of. Reddit, however ...

https://www.reddit.com/r/EndAbuseOfWomenOnline/comments/15v9tri/misogynistic_subreddits/

As someone who has stopped posting very often now due to being called a man just for disagreeing with the idea women are infallible and for being pro-trans rights but who is most definitely female... MN is crazy

I still lurk and read threads and some of the posts that get "called out" for being mean just really mean that the replies aren't agreeing with the OP and are pointing out they're BU.

And it always amuses me when anyone says "I'm always online and this place is the worst". No, its really not. I'd suggest looking at Tumblr for worse but the demographic over there is almost the exact opposite of MN so...

I'm going to stop posting on those ones. I answered one genuinely recently and was mortified to discover that she was around 20 years younger than I guessed. It was a genuine comment and I based my reply on the way my 50 year old daughter looks. My daughter has been ID'd in a Supermarket when she was in her early 40's and she does look young for her age! So I based my comments on the lines around the posters eyes. Really felt sorry for saying anything! Never again

Yes this forum has lots of unpleasant people just waiting to post nasty, cruel responses and take every opportunity to try and shame the poster and take things the wrong way deliberately to start pile on. Its pretty disgusting.

I sometimes wonder if any of these people are similar in real life of if they just use the online space to vent all their nastiness? I pity them really, they must be miserable sorts.

How so? A lot of the nasty ‘regulars’ on here are logged on round the clock - always within the first handful of posts on any given thread. It’s not far-fetched to assume they probably don’t have much going on in real life.

You're suggesting that Reddit is nicer than Mumsnet? Honestly, seriously?

There's a lot of pomposity.

And a lot of people who like to go on and on about how they couldn't possibly work as they have attention deficit issues or similar and can't do tasks for long periods of time, or fybromyalgia so their hands dont work ergo they couldn't even work online... but have no problem interacting for 9 hours a day to go back and forth commenting and rebutting and aggressively argueing on posts on MN about it. Those people tend to get nasty with opposing points of view.

The people with too much time on their hands who are constantly on here tend to be the ones who are particularly unpleasant.

Those of us (probably the majority) who dip in and out can take it or leave it and any arseiness is either just funny, or it's water off a ducks back.

I certainly have. They can be vicious on Reddit.

This is so true. I remember posting on gransnet about concerns I had re nursing staff when my mother was seriously, seriously ill. One poster, whose daughter was a nurse, took it as a personal affront and was really nasty, despite the fact that I was upset and climbing the walls with anxiety. Thankfully another poster was absolutely lovely. But I couldn't bear to even see the name of the other poster coming up on a thread after that.

I think it's a bit of taking the rough with the smooth , mumsnet can be amazing for support and advice and some threads are really funny but there are threads where posters are awful I just stay away from a thread that goes that way . For example if there is the regular sahm bunfight thread I can guarantee that I'll see certain usernames come up quickly with the claws out just waiting to be as awful as possible

One of the most batshit things I have ever read on here.

I have no idea why on earth anyone would ever put themselves in such a vulnerable position on a huge anonymous forum? You might as well put a pic of yourself up and caption it, "kick the shit out of me here"!!!

It's due to being allowed to name change, OP.

As you've clearly demonstrated, people can change from one name to another to post whatever they like as long as it's within talk guidelines.

If this wasn't allowed, many people would think twice about being a dick because then no-one would bother with them.

You've chosen to name change for this thread and if you hadn't, perhaps some people might point out that you've been guilty in the past of doing what you're complaining about now, or perhaps they might not be able to, but we'll never know 🤷‍♂️

The thing is, without the name change function, no-one would post about personal problems.

But like yourself, people use it to change name for other reasons too.

I always worry that the "guess my age" threads aren't genuine and the images are stolen. I don't think anyone shows their face on WAYWT threads.

when people ask to guess their age

1. What kind of person asks strangers for that kind of ego stroke? Or friends, for that matter? Other people are not supporting characters in the playscript of your life with a sole purpose of making you feel good.
2. If you value yourself by how other people perceive your physical appearance, you are going to be hurt as you get older.
3. If you fish for compliments, expect to hook some insults.

The reason it happens here is because it's completely anonymous. There's no come back so people can be as shitty as they like. Reddit feels less anonymous and it's more of an open book. Here the demographic is all the same kind of person so you feel even more judged.

Arseholery is sometimes under good regulation. It can be very useful, say, if someone is claiming the mantle of an expert in order to give a ring of authority to erroneous, faulty, or downright unsafe advice. And yes, I've been THAT poster: the one like a dog with a bone who has tenaciously refused to back off in that specific context. They might shout 'bully!', as people often do when they want to close someone down whilst putting themselves automatically in the right. No matter, if that OP is more likely to be safe.

The endless grammar pedants are infuriating, I do agree. They don't make themselves look intelligent, which I'm sure is the desired effect. They just appear as what they are: small-minded, ill-mannered and petty. We are not marking essays here. Edexcel are crying out for examiners: fuck off and get a job with them whydontya.

There are times to be rude, and times to be polite. Yes, some people are afflicted with constant arseholery, in which case they're pretty unimaginative and tedious. But overall I enjoy Mumsnet. It has its (admittedly now rarer) laugh out loud moments, and can be a bastion of common sense, support and kindness to women escaping from abusers, or coming to terms with a history of the same, or struggling with parenting issues. There are a lot of wise posters here whose contributions I enjoy. Others, not so much.

Such is the way of the world.

I don't think it's any worse here than it is 'in real life' - except people aren't brave enough to be nasty to people's faces. There are a lot of backstabbers.

Someone threatened to take their own life yesterday on MN and the thread had to be shut. She had a lot of criticism over the fact she couldn't tidy up easily.

We are all vulnerable at times. You never know what someone is going through.

Not sure how to vote on this as I have had both experiences. There are a lot of people on here whose sole aim is to be nasty to others, I believe. And others who have an aspect of their life which matches what is being written about - ie, an estranged child and the OP is posting about their child cutting them off. In those cases a lot of people get over the top nasty because anything not aligning with their view is taken as an attack. Or people who exhibit the kind of bad behaviour being posted about, ditto. I posted years ago when a parent died and several of my siblings were estranged from them, and I was not sure what to do about letting them know. Some of the posts were directly attacking when I was recently bereaved and it was truly shocking. But there were also a lot of really lovely people here who have offered good support and a non judgemental listening ear. So no, I dont think everyone is nasty. Which I was grateful for.

It depends.

Sometimes people need a dose of reality.

Sometimes people are posting for inflated ego reasons.

Some replies are downright nasty though.

If you're on here for people to tell you they agree with you and you're so lovely and the best person ever and everyone in your life is a mean bully, it's probably not the place for you. Because there are always two sides.