To think there are a lot of nasty people on Mumsnet?

I wouldn't post on here looking for sensible advice about a problem situation. Some posters would try to be helpful but, from what I have seen, a high proportion just want to up the drama and some, particularly when giving relationship advice ,project massively and make assumptions.
Also, there are unpopular categories of people on here i.e. step mothers, MILs, most men, boomers etc. who are always in the wrong.
Some posters seem to think they are being witty or feminist but they are actually being nasty. Also the PA " What did the police say when you phoned them?" etc.
I must admit I mainly come on MN if I'm a bit bored. The threads on SEN, elderly parents etc. are much more useful than AIBU and relationships. There used to be one poster on relationships who seemed to think she had the solution to every dilemna in the world. She had a following and they were very scathing to anyone who questioned her. Not what you need when you're upset.

I think it's REALLY unnecessary to point out spelling mistakes.

If other people's grammar upsets you that much.... you've got a big problem.

MN isn't a work place so no need to be awful about people's spelling.

I've had that happen to me. Nothing was done about it. I advised against a baby name (very politely) as the nickname for that name would be awful to saddle a kid with and he could be bullied.

What would be the dose of reality that you think you deserve?

Having children is a biological imperative. The reason we have an inbuilt impulse to reproduce is for the survival of our species. Of course, these impulses have been woven into us over millenia, and so the way nature gets us to do something so breathtakingly UNSELFISH as reproduce is by giving us maternal longings. So yes, you could say it's selfish because it's done in response to a hormonal impulse. But that's a very superficial way of assessing actions. The reason for that impulse is the exact opposite of selfishness. Having children is remarkably difficult, painful and sacrificial. It's a long long road of sleepless nights, putting your needs last all the time, even accepting that for a number of years your child mught despise you and show no appreciation for your sacrifices. But our hormones compel us to do it because, if not, the human species would die out.

I don't know...I kind of feel that anyone who could be led by MN doesn't really want to save it anyway. Divorce/splitting is very rarely the easy, instant gratification option.

This is a very passive aggressive thread.

The guess my age posters are insufferable and deserve a dose of reality. The so called unkind guesses are usually far more realistic as to how old they actually look

I'm not talking about abusive situations. But no one would be asking for relationship advice in the first place if their relationship was perfectly happy and healthy. And yet, in the real world, it is absolutely possible to fix an unhappy relationship, thank goodness. No marriage is 100% happy all the time. I honestly think it's just symptomatic of a society that wants instant gratification - if anything requires work, external input, counselling, communication, then it's not worth it. Just give up and be happy. How much easier it is to give that kind of recommendation than actually provide thoughtful, nuanced advice on how to mend a relationship.

I agree. Of course having children is selfish.

That's not what I said. By removing the word "randomly" from my post you have changed what I was saying.

Which is that what they are doing is worse than popping on a thread to be randomly spiteful.

Women say unkind things online.

Men issue threats and send dick pics.

I've never had a woman pm me with a picture of her fanny or threaten to find me and rape me.

A lot of the time, those using these accusations are just offended by responses they've got to their post

and often the most aggressive in responses to their posts

I think having children is selfish for many people as it should be. You should havce children because you want them. We are humans and we do selfish things. Why is this abhorrent?

I sometimes post suggestions/advice or opinions that are different from the majority, so 'unpopular'. I am often surprised by other posters' reactions to these when they disagree. I simply say what I think about the particular OP's situation or question. The original poster or other posters are not obliged to agree with it or take any notice of it at all. The vehemence with which some people react to opinions they do not agree with is absurd at times. Some people seem unable to accept that there may be different opinions about a situation, and seem to want to 'prove' that only their view is correct, which seems unreasonable to me. I am not bothered by people disagreeing with me, but I am bothered that they think I am not entitled to have a different opinion to their own. The funniest example of this was on a thread where a relative gave a gift of home made jam and wanted the jar back. The OP thought the request unreasonable. I commented that new jars are expensive (I know because of making home made jam) so the relative's request was not unreasonable. Most people thought the relative unreasonable, fair enough, but the reaction to my alternative view was hilarious - and it just over a jam jar.

There are more than 30,000 posts every day on Mumsnet. Stands to reason that a proportion of those will be unpleasant.

However - disagreeing with a poster, or being direct in a response, really doesn't equate to nastiness or bullying. A lot of the time, those using these accusations are just offended by responses they've got to their post.

They mostly hang out in relationships from what I've seen, and apparently the hidden sex topic.

I've had some great support and replies to threads I've posted in the past, from grammatical disagreements to health concerns.

There's always trolls and troublemakers. If you see the same names jumping on people, or derailing threads, then report them. I've done this before.

I name change fairly regularly now as someone followed me to different threads taking the piss out of everything I said after I asked a very normal question on one thread and got ridiculed.

Some of the comments make me wince. It follows the same patterns as well, you don’t have to read an entire OP to know what the nasty comments will be like.

Absolutely.

I don't know if I agree that there is a lot of nastiness here - I think there's a certain amount of bluntness that wouldn't fly in real life, but that's not something I think is really wrong. Sometimes we all need to hear it without any sugarcoating. Nobody is compelled to put anything about any aspect of their personal or private life online and if you choose to, the response won't always be nice.

Around 20 years ago, myself and few other MNr's met up as complete strangers for a night out - we came from all over the country and it was great. It was a much nicer place back then. Sure you still had some who were particularly odious and condescending even back then and they always had a little team of hangers on but they appear to have largely moved on.

People are entitled to their opinion as long as it's not breaking talk guidelines (aka being abusive, which is the focus of this thread). Not sure why these views are "abhorrent" just because you don't agree with them.

A haven for women aged 40-60 😂😂😂

yeah that’ll explain the very active TTC boards, new baby boards and people posting about breast feeding and sleep routines!

also obviously explains all the ageism

I think nastiness stays in the memory more than the helpful and compassionate responses.

I've rarely, if ever, seen unpleasantness on a handhold thread.

The Elderly Parents, SEN, and various health fora are remarkably useful and practical when people need support.

There are some very polarised areas (AIBU and the ones involving animals).

MN is largely where you go, what catches your attention, with occasional squalls and outbreaks in particular areas.