To feel like I never have a ‘nice time’ with my children

I don’t think you’re a shit mum. Small children are hard work.

I do think there are some tactics that can help oil the wheels towards having a nice time, such as:

• leaving plenty of time. It’s impossible to be anything other than a ball of prickly stress if you’re trying to get small children ready in a hurry. Plan to give yourself twice as long as you think you’ll need to get everyone ready and out of the house.
• work with your children - what do they enjoy (as opposed to what do other parents think is fun). Do they like screaming and running around? Find a nice forest to let them loose in. Do they like art? Set up something messy in the garden. I’ve found myself frustrated at my son not enjoying something several times when I’ve planned it without really thinking about whether it’s something he will actually love.
• Accept the snackocalypse. Bring plenty of things they can just help themselves to - raisins, babybels, bananas, crackers. Teach them to help themselves from a box or bag so they can sort themselves out.

and of course, you can do all of this and sometimes they’ll still be absolutely miserable and whine until your ears fall off - but that’s not your fault or something you’re doing wrong. It’s just the nature of the beast, and any other nice parent would commiserate.

Possibly you're planning things that you think are nice things to do/have been advertised as being nice things to do/you've seen on social media or from friends and not actually what your kids will enjoy doing. I think that's a really common problem. Often it's just too much for the kids/too out of routine/requires too much of them. You can have nice times with your kids, but it'll probably be in the local park or on your sofa not at Legoland/a museum/a big day out.

Are they still young?

I found ages 6-11 to be really lovely.

Ha you've just described my life OP to a tee 😂

You are absolutely not a shit mother but you may have shit kids!! No of course they are not shit but they may be more difficult. My mantra for years was some children are harder to rear. My eldest came into this world difficult and I often think he will go to his grave a difficult man, he is a teen now so time will tell. My 2 youngest are much much easier, we have lovely times together if DS isn't there. Thankfully he is old enough to opt out of stuff now but it was nothing but drama for years.

This is a lie. It doesn't get easier it's just a different difficult lol

Mine are 10 and 7 and I still feel like this now. I've lost count of the number of times I've said I'm not planning any more activities/days out because it just feels pointless. So I don't have any advice, but you're definitely not on your own.

Still feel the same at times with my preteen dd and teenage stepchildren. Try and do something nice and 9 times out of 10 it blows up in my face. Someone's upset someone else, this isn't fair that's not fair. I find them very hard to please when all together. They get off on annoying each other which in turn annoys me and it's like they see who can be the most annoying.

Routine and regular exercise seems to be the answer. So walks after lunch etc or bike rides / park / swimming. We are not into big days out too often.

We've just found our groove, just in time for back to school. 😱👍

Not a shit mum!

parent of an 11ye old ND, it’s painful, every day!
we’re currently sat in a very expensive hotel room as the entertainment isn’t to her liking. It’s the same for everything.

How old are they not you?

How old are you?

are you entertaining them too much? Kids needs to have time to be bored and learn to entertain themselves.

The problem is you’re quite possibly comparing to what people put on social media or whatever saying how wonderful things are. I’ve literally been on days out with friends where their kids have been a nightmare and my friend has had an awful day but she’s posted on Facebook aboit how amazing it was. Trust me, so many of us have consistently sh1tty days out with the kids so don’t worry about it.

You’re not a shit mum - motherhood is at times pretty shit. Don’t beat yourself up for not enjoying cleaning poo or trying to drag a screaming toddler out of a park…

Promise it gets easier ❤️

And you're not a shit mum - kids are ungrateful and difficult where ever you are 😂. Lower your expectations and know that it doesn't last forever

How old are they?

I remember posting something similar on here when my DC were little. I took them to a water park, spent loads and they were awful all day - tears, drama, tantrums, accidents - the lot. Felt like I'd never enjoy them. Fast forward several years and they are a joy age 9 and 11. Took the younger one for lunch in Wagamama's as he loves it - we had a good natter then to a plane museum as he loves those too! More recently went to London with DD - we had a lovely time shopping in the Zara sale and then went to Foyles as we share a love of books. After Xmas all 4 of us went to see Wonka - had a lovely time.
What I'm saying is that my life never used to be like this ! The fun times will come, hang on in there- little kids are hard work.