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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to leave 9 week old baby with Grandparents to baby sit for a a few hours?

107 replies

Sailawaygirl · 06/01/2024 09:23

My DP are old (70's) but loving having their only grandchild who arrived recently and constantly asking me to pop round with DC. Previously my DM has made lots of comments about her friends having to do lots of baby sitting for grandchildren ect and so because of this i made it clear that i would not be expecting any baby sitting from them or child care when i go back to work. ( and i don't think they would manage an extended time any way).

But .... my DM bought me a massage voucher at xmas with the instructions to book massage and she will have baby while I go. I also have some dentist appointments coming up and need my hair cut.

DC is breast fed - but has taken a bottle from DP when i have been out at times. I admit we probably need to give DP bottle more to get him more used to it (so this is our bad)

I left DC with them yesterday to go to an appointment - 2 hours - left them with full bottle but gave a big feed and changed nappy before and left pram as DC falls asleep as soon as he is walked in pram.

When i came back DC was crying his eyes out, my DM looked like she had been through a hedge backwards and my DF had a 'thank goodness your back expression'. they said DC had just been crying for 30mins but I suspect DM said that so I didn't feel bad and DC had been crying for longer. DC was hungry and they said he wouldn't take anything from the bottle. Gave DC boob and he was fine.

DP was at work.

As we all know - hard to get after work appointments so DP can look after DC. I also (selfishly on reflection ) popped into M&S to buy me some clothes so i could have been back about 40 - 30 mins earlier but it was nice just to do a normal bit of shopping for a while! but now i feel terrible and wish i hadn't

AIBU to leave DC with grandparents for 2 hours for hair dressers and 2 follow up dentist appointments?

Should I cancel and try and rearrange my appointments for later in day when DP will be about - although this will delay treatment and hair wise - i cant see because my hair is in eyes (I'm growing out a pixie cut to be a more manageable bob) so im living in a hat. I know parenting is about compromise and sacrifice ect. i don't spend that much time on my appearance anyway.
I was ok about it yesterday but feeling very sad and teary this morning.

OP posts:
Heronwatcher · 06/01/2024 09:32

If you’re breastfeeding and your DC won’t reliably take a bottle then I think it’s a bit long at this age. My own DC could often wake well before this and as you’ve experienced be inconsolable until
they’re fed. I would suggest that you take DM or DF with you and they can mind the baby but you’re on hand to feed if necessary. Also I normally found clothes shopping ok with a baby in a pram- they would just sleep or be happy to look a lights/ other people.

Sodndashitall · 06/01/2024 09:32

Babies often refuse bottles if they are ebf. So all you can do is try to keep offering bottle (not you ofc as definitely will refuse from you) to see if you can get them used to both.
If baby feeds frequently then it's hard to get the time off for you to do other stuff. But YANBU for trying !
It's only been a few weeks so suggest you just take some smaller breaks using gp to help so you can get out of the house or even just take naps. Then work your way up to longer and use that lovely massage voucher !

Goatymum · 06/01/2024 09:32

I didn’t leave DD (first born and breastfed) with anyone except DH for a long while. Dd never took a bottle (we tried) so any outing (by me) had to be 2 hours or less pre-weaning. i would reschedule appts when dp is around Ie, weekend for hair cut - how long is dentist so you can fit it in between feeds? And don’t do shopping afterwards!

Dotchange · 06/01/2024 09:31

Perhaps have your aren’t feed him a bottle while they are at your house, so your baby gets used to them?

You have an amazing opportunity- you can make it work so everyone is happy :)

SgtJuneAckland · 06/01/2024 09:30

I just booked appointments for weekends at that age, DH would come I'd feed before I went in then DH would take him off around town in the pram for an hour, that was hair appointment and opticians, dentist I took him because it was a ten minute check up and dentist said it was fine to bring him

DDivaStar · 06/01/2024 09:28

It was your first time away from baby, he's bound to miss you. But he knows you came back. Maybe try to build up the length of time but don't feel bad taking sone time for yourself.

Calvinlookingforhobbs · 06/01/2024 09:26

this is the challenge of having a baby - and EBF putting their needs first without driving yourself mad is tough. If you can, then you need to stay near for now. 9 weeks is very young and it won’t be forever. However in your situation, I used to get parents/father to take the baby in for a feed to the hairdresser and then out for a walk. Everyone got what the needed. Good luck, op. It’s hard but not forever.