to leave 9 week old baby with Grandparents to baby sit for a a few hours?

I'm no crazy attachment parent or anything but my experience is that basically you can't leave ebf babies until they are at least 3 months. Of course if you can get the bottle feeding working then maybe you can do it earlier but you need to establish that before trying to leave them.

After the newborn period breastfeeding makes things a lot easier but it does make it hard if not impossible to leave them initially.

With the second one, I got a haircut in when I was 39 weeks in preparation!

Not everyone is in the UK.

America, for example, has little/no paid maternity leave.

They do at 6 weeks old.

Oh, just seen the typical comments about breastfeeding 🙄 Why do so ,any women try to put other women off breastfeeding? Breastfeeding actually makes things easier not harder.

Maybe try to get baby's dad to give bottle a bit more. I found leaving my top to put around baby helped them settle. But ebf is hard work...I remember my son refused all bottles and even if I pumped he wanted the real thing. Its only a short time @Sailawaygirl in a few months they eat so its easier to leave them. Also that's a lovely present

Except the baby, who was in clear emotional distress.

You've done nothing wrong OP - it's a time of learning for baby, you and your DPs. If you can time it right, let them come and try some bottle feeds at your house. Don't be in the room. Is it formula or EBM? Build up leaving times - 30 mins and upwards, even if you just listen to music or call friends from your car, round the corner. Ask a parent to help by coming to an appointment with you - they can take baby for a walk. It will get better and better. Also, find out when your massage voucher expires - save it for less hectic times, when you know you can switch off. You sound like a lovely mum with lovely parents too.

I just took my baby to hair and dentist appointments. 9 weeks is very young to be away from their mother. It’s not called the 4th trimester for nothing. Why not delay your massage?

Get him used to having a bottle and then try again. It is very limiting having a tiny baby - in fact I still struggle with lack of independence with a five year old! But it will get easier, especially if you're not EBF.

I would practice with your Mum - perhaps write a schedule (like use bottle immediately after nap and keep offering it frequently if refused..)

Can your OH not take some half days? Currently you can’t take any time off ‘work’ so that’s a conversation to have

You NEED a break, you are still a person in your own right as well as a mum op! Do NOT feel guilty

I don't think there's a right or wrong answer to these questions really it's up to you and you circumstances.

DC1 I first left with someone other than DH when they were about 3 months old. That was with my DM whilst like you I went to the dentist to get a filling that I should have had during pregnancy but the dentist told me to delay it until afterwards. I was gone about 1.5hrs, my DM had spent loads of time with DC1 so was confident to care for her, and she was formula fed by then so I left a bottle with them. It was fine.

DC2 I can't remember when I first left him with anyone else but I suspect he may have been about 11 months or so. Partly because he was mostly breastfed until 10 months, and partly because by then DM was in ill health and no longer able to babysit ever so I just had to make other arrangements for appointments. Basically DH would take annual leave or work flexi if I needed to go somewhere alone.

At 9 weeks DC1 was mixed fed in the day so I probably would have been fine to leave her for a couple of hrs if necessary but DC2 was only breast-fed in the day so I wouldn't have left him with anyone other than Dash unless emergency (and he did take a bottle but he only had a couple a week at night from DH). But that's just me.

My DS stayed over at my parents a night each week from around 3 months old. He was a good sleeper though, and we were only ever a couple of miles away! It does depend on the baby though, DD was much much clingy.

Hm nine weeks is very early. I’d try and get an appt in the evening or at your house. Or cut your fringe yourself to see you through the next few weeks.

Not everyone has the option to stay home with their kids.

Oh yaaaass one of them has rocked up. Awa bile yer heid min.

For both of my kids leaving them at any point before introducing solid food wasn’t really possible. So if I had an appointment then baby would need to be nearby - your parents coming to town with you but doing their own thing with baby nearby is an option.

I think the first time I went out to any length of time alone was at about 6 months and it was to have a wisdom tooth pulled. I came home and DH had appeased baby with multiple fromage frais.

it’s really short though - both of my kids were in nursery for full days by 10/11 months so don’t sweat it.

I’ve seen a lot of grandparents push this idea of babysitting a tiny baby and my own PiL were big on this. I have to wonder - who are they doing it for? Often I think it’s largely for themselves as they have this wonderful vision of building a relationship with their grand babies. The reality of course is that there is plenty of time for that, it doesn’t need to be right now. Babies change all the time. A couple of months is a lifetime to your baby and they will be totally different by then.

😳😳😳😳 there's always one

You need to give yourself a break, those first 4 months especially for breastfeeding mums can feel like one long never stopping marathon. It's OK to go for a couple of hours of normalcy and to re charge. Your baby will be better for you being relaxed.

My second was a bottle refuser, would suggest sleeping with a muslin and then next time leave a bottle with grandparents tell them to put the muslin on their chest so baby gets your scent. Your over the period where introducing bottles can risk ebf but be wary of over pumping.

Entirely agree. No harm done to anyone and you got your appointment in, OP.

So basically because one mother had a blatant disregard for her kids’ well-being everyone should?

Yes - stick with your apppointments or your kid will be 4 and you still won’t be able to leave them.

It seems like the issue is just getting baby used to bottle. Is there a way your partner can bottle feed once a day? Then your mother can try a few times before your massage. Another alternative, if desperate, could be to feed with a syringe or small cup if they don’t take a bottle. A cup sounds really mad but I fed my son gaviscon from a shot-sized measuring cup at that age and it went surprisingly well.

A neighbour went back to fulltime work six weeks after she gave birth to twins so YANBU.

You can also get hairdressers who'll come to your house, that works well.