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Original poster

Why are nursery fees not included in child maintenance?

106 replies

haeesgy · 05/01/2024 11:19

Yes, I know it’s the resident parent’s choice whether to send the child to nursery… but the reality is it’s either that or don’t work..!

I would LOVE ex to have 50/50 care of our child. I didn’t have a child expecting him to turn up once a week (at best) for half a day. I didn’t want this, he left.

And now I’m left with child maintenance which is a long way from half nursery fees. Why is nothing done about this? Women treated appallingly again.

OP posts:
Muchof · 05/01/2024 11:32

Kpo58 · 05/01/2024 11:26

Because you could want to send your DC to the most expensive childcare around and the other parent may not be able to afford it.

The real question should be why doesn't the government want to invest in childcare by making it free/very affordable so that most single parents can afford to work and have careers like the absent parent can. Why do they want so many children to grow up in poverty continuing the cycle of deprivation?

Do you really think that the real question is why shouldn't tax payers fund free childcare for all so that feckless fathers don't have to pay reasonable costs towards their children?

Kpo58 · 05/01/2024 11:32

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 05/01/2024 11:21

I agree, nursery fees are generally upwards of £1k a month and it seems very unfair that men would pay half of this if they were still with their child's mother, plus all the other costs of having a child, but can just choose to leave and effectively force their ex and their child(ren) into poverty with no consequences

The problem is that quite often the fathers weren't paying for childcare when they are together. Often the women are paying it or becoming a SAHP. The father is often paying for other bills.

The big problem in this country is that childcare is often as much or more than the cost of rent/mortgage which can just about be afforded when people live as a couple. When they split, the cost of 2x rent + ? X childcare costs is just not affordable even if both parents paid a fair share. It's unfortunately easier for the men just not to pay it and the government won't do anything about it.

enchantedsquirrelwood · 05/01/2024 11:31

Childcare should be fully tax deductible, which would help.

In terms of expense, it could be based on average nursery fees for the area - if you use a Norland Nanny, then you meet the difference in costs.

And child maintenance should be based on the respective incomes of the parents and the essential outgoings.

I have no idea why the system is so broken and how so many men contribute nothing or very little.

It is a lesson is making sure you keep your own career and don't rely on a man, though. So many SAHMs saying "MY husband won't run off with anyone else". Well.

Kpo58 · 05/01/2024 11:26

Because you could want to send your DC to the most expensive childcare around and the other parent may not be able to afford it.

The real question should be why doesn't the government want to invest in childcare by making it free/very affordable so that most single parents can afford to work and have careers like the absent parent can. Why do they want so many children to grow up in poverty continuing the cycle of deprivation?

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 05/01/2024 11:21

I agree, nursery fees are generally upwards of £1k a month and it seems very unfair that men would pay half of this if they were still with their child's mother, plus all the other costs of having a child, but can just choose to leave and effectively force their ex and their child(ren) into poverty with no consequences

Youcannotbeseriousreally · 05/01/2024 11:21

I would be fighting for fees on the days he’s supposed to have the little one. You can’t expect him to pay the fees int he says he’s paying you if that makes sense?