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AIBU?

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To think my DH is being a big girls blouse about the the washing?

387 replies

KarenNotAKaren · 05/01/2024 00:15

For years my DH Has allegedly been sensitive to wet washing - it makes him sneeze, wheeze and gives him itchy eyes. Apparently. He’s getting worse - when I simply take the washing out the machine he says within 30 seconds “Have you taken the washing out? It’s getting to my eyes already!” 🙄

I actually did an experiment in our last house. We had a kitchen living room open plan thing and when he was watching TV I very quietly unloaded the washing machine (he couldn’t see, TV was on loud too so couldn’t hear either) and left it all by the machine, and left the room. Came back 20 minutes later and he didn’t complain one bit or even clock on that he was in the same room as a pile of wet washing.

He won’t line dry his things because it makes his eyes itchy (🤷‍♀️). I can’t even have a sock drying on the radiator because it makes him sneeze apparently. I’d LOVE a heated airer as we spend an absolute fortune on tumble drying, but he’d make a right song and dance no doubt. Tumble drying is the only way he will dry his clothes. Even if I line dry mine he gets all dramatic if I come too close - “Oh god has that top been line dried - my eyes are itchy!”.

Weve just moved into a new home that has an integral washer/dryer. Well it doesn’t actually fucking dry anything? The ‘dryer’ part is a massive lie, so he wants to buy a separate washing machine AND dryer because apparently “I can’t live in a house with a condenser dryer it get to my eyes nose and lungs”. I sneered at him and he got really annoyed. I’d rather just stick with what we have and line dry things or get a heated airer.

I know I sound unsympathetic but I think he’s being so dramatic - I’ve asked his mum and he didn’t grow up with a tumble dryer, everything was dried on heaters and the washing line. He somehow survived childhood unscathed and his mum said he never had any issues. Yet as an adult all this OTT sneezing and “oh god it’s getting to my lungs that is” is going on - I just think he is being an attention seeker. No asthma. No respiratory issues.

Am I a horrible cow who needs to understand his sensitivities better? Do other people suffer like this just from being in the same room as a freshly washed sock? I’ve never heard of a single person who can’t be around wet washing. Or is he being the drama llama I think he is?

OP posts:
MegaClutterSlut · 06/01/2024 22:27

This would seriously do my tits in 😐

Larob · 06/01/2024 22:20

It’s a weird one, I thought it was going to lead to him using this to avoid hanging up the washing. It is known that outdoors dried washing can cause hay fever in the summer because the pollen in the air can settle on it…but I’m not sure what his excuse can be about the line dried/radiators! If you have a new build, do you have an extractor I. The utility you could run “to clear the air” after using an airer or a garage you could set the airer in? I think he’s taking it too far and would also leave baskets of laundry about to “test” 😂

AutumnFroglets · 06/01/2024 22:17

I have been thinking about this since you said he didn't react to the pretend wet washing.

Had he taken an antihistamine at that time?
What temperature do you wash at? Tumble driers run a lot hotter so might "kill" something in the process.
Have you tried dettol laundry disinfectant at the end of the wash, as it helps remove any lingering bacteria/smells?

KarenNotAKaren · 06/01/2024 21:10

BTW I’m not sure why people are claiming he wants to get out of doing housework. He does do housework, I never said he didnt

OP posts:
SplendidUtterly · 06/01/2024 21:09

Snowdogsmitten · 05/01/2024 07:46

Surely he’s a liar. He just doesn’t want to do the washing.

We have a winner!!

cerisepanther73 · 06/01/2024 21:03

@Seren8

Where's the critical analyse research 🤔 on chemical senistivity in the regards of correlation of issue of allergies then?

KarenNotAKaren · 06/01/2024 20:48

Newsenmum · 06/01/2024 20:45

Ok 😳

Do you not think girls and boys are different?

OP posts:
KarenNotAKaren · 06/01/2024 20:48

Newsenmum · 06/01/2024 20:45

It’s linked to the fact that girls are ‘wet’ and pathetic. Clearly this is upsetting you so I will leave you to it. 👍 Maybe it’s a generational thing.

It’s really not.

OP posts:
Newsenmum · 06/01/2024 20:45

soupfiend · 06/01/2024 20:42

I do throw like a girl

I am a girl

Girls and boys are different

Ok 😳

Newsenmum · 06/01/2024 20:45

KarenNotAKaren · 06/01/2024 20:40

<dons hard hat> so what? I’m a woman and I don’t always want to be praised and complimented by default through the virtue of having a vagina.

It’s linked to the fact that girls are ‘wet’ and pathetic. Clearly this is upsetting you so I will leave you to it. 👍 Maybe it’s a generational thing.

soupfiend · 06/01/2024 20:42

I do throw like a girl

I am a girl

Girls and boys are different

KarenNotAKaren · 06/01/2024 20:40

Newsenmum · 06/01/2024 20:35

Not a compliment to women and girls.

<dons hard hat> so what? I’m a woman and I don’t always want to be praised and complimented by default through the virtue of having a vagina.

OP posts:
Newsenmum · 06/01/2024 20:35

KarenNotAKaren · 06/01/2024 20:30

It’s not supposed to be a compliment

Not a compliment to women and girls.

KarenNotAKaren · 06/01/2024 20:30

Newsenmum · 06/01/2024 20:08

When I was brought up it meant you’re a pathetic girl lol and that was definitely what boys meant but ok. Let’s face it, it’s not a compliment is it.

It’s not supposed to be a compliment

OP posts:
DocksideDave · 06/01/2024 20:21

No idea about your washing mystery OP, but depending on where you live, could offer some support on the PTSD issue. DH is clinical lead for NHS Veterans Mental Health - if you’re happy to PM me your county/location, I/he could point you in some useful directions for support (varies from region to region, but all have a service)

Newsenmum · 06/01/2024 20:08

KarenNotAKaren · 06/01/2024 19:51

Google throws up the explanation in many places - what do you think it refers to?

God I could never imagine being so soft that this being typed out on a parenting forum would upset me. Some of us have real problems I guess!

Edited

When I was brought up it meant you’re a pathetic girl lol and that was definitely what boys meant but ok. Let’s face it, it’s not a compliment is it.

Lelophants · 06/01/2024 20:07

AutumnFroglets · 06/01/2024 19:52

Ah yes, the typical all feminists here think the same thing bullshit, or even all women think the same bullshit. And the I hate it so everyone must stop using it too bullshit. It's a you problem. Scroll past, you are allowed to.

@KarenNotAKaren so your update means it's more likely to be your washing powder or scent that's causing his issue. What do you use?

Oh for goodness sake I didn’t expect you get so defensive! It’s clearly something a lot of us think so there is at least some ambiguity about it. To me it’s up there with ‘you throw like a girl’ and ‘stop being such a woman’ so that’s my gut reaction. It’s ok you’ve never taken it that way and good for you I suppose! Perhaps when it was used around you it was meant differently.

soupfiend · 06/01/2024 19:56

People are also allowed to be offended.

So be offended, but dont police peoples language

You can be a feminist and not be offended by jokey, silly references.

AutumnFroglets · 06/01/2024 19:55

That's weird then if you are using different ones. Maybe try an extra rinse and spin before removing from the washer?

KarenNotAKaren · 06/01/2024 19:53

AutumnFroglets · 06/01/2024 19:52

Ah yes, the typical all feminists here think the same thing bullshit, or even all women think the same bullshit. And the I hate it so everyone must stop using it too bullshit. It's a you problem. Scroll past, you are allowed to.

@KarenNotAKaren so your update means it's more likely to be your washing powder or scent that's causing his issue. What do you use?

I’ll be honest, I use whichever brand os on offer. I have used scent free ones before that are SO expensive and he is the same no matter what brand I use

OP posts:
AutumnFroglets · 06/01/2024 19:52

Lelophants · 06/01/2024 18:09

Sure but I guess I’m a little surprised. Mumsnet has such a strong feminist board and I hated growing up being told I was being ‘a girl’ or a ‘big girl’ or the full phrase ‘big girl’s blouse’. Just find it really weird it’s seen as ok on here. Just same old sexist shit that normally gets called out on mumsnet.

Ah yes, the typical all feminists here think the same thing bullshit, or even all women think the same bullshit. And the I hate it so everyone must stop using it too bullshit. It's a you problem. Scroll past, you are allowed to.

@KarenNotAKaren so your update means it's more likely to be your washing powder or scent that's causing his issue. What do you use?

KarenNotAKaren · 06/01/2024 19:51

Newsenmum · 06/01/2024 19:49

Where did you get this definition from? 🤣

Google throws up the explanation in many places - what do you think it refers to?

God I could never imagine being so soft that this being typed out on a parenting forum would upset me. Some of us have real problems I guess!

OP posts:
Newsenmum · 06/01/2024 19:49

KarenNotAKaren · 06/01/2024 18:28

But…but…it doesn’t mean that! At all.

I’ll say this in very simple terms: girl’s blouses are (traditionally) made of delicate and flimsy material. Saying someone is a ‘girls blouse’ is comparing them to the blouse. Not to a girl.

Do you understand that the ‘girl’ inclusion is about the type of blouse rather than women themselves?

Where did you get this definition from? 🤣

KarenNotAKaren · 06/01/2024 19:32

MadKittenWoman · 06/01/2024 19:29

YABU for 'big girl's blouse'. I this the seventies?

Thank God you’re here, no one is yet to point this out

OP posts:
MadKittenWoman · 06/01/2024 19:29

YABU for 'big girl's blouse'. I this the seventies?

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