To think my DH is being a big girls blouse about the the washing?

Could also depend on baseline humidity if the room, my husband reacts to washing due to sinus issues, worse when humidity is high but less so if it was say already under 40%

My husband has PND and wet washing made it 100x worse until we got a dehumidifier.

Contempt is the death nail of marriage and I am sending a lot of it here, genuinely I think that is a big problem than anything else in this post.

If my husband asked this one thing of me I'd do it even id I disagreed because he is the most amazing person on the planet and we are an amazing team: he puts up with some of the things I ask and vice versa. Not sensing this here...

Not meant as a criticism but more if there is other issues that this is feeding from.

Not a thought that's not been shared before. But not one I agree with. Men don't make sexist remarks because sexist women have set them a bad example.

Nah it’s pretty offensive because then it makes it ok for those who are not in the vulnerable group to do it. Just a thought.

There's always going to be defensiveness when women are told off for sexism against women. @BiscuitLover3678 Especially when they're held to a higher standard than men with comments like 'it's bad enough when men do it...' implying women being sexist about women is worse than men doing the same. Which is... well...pretty sexist!

Also this.

As a fellow woman I think it’s inappropriate and odd. Not especially offended. She could at least acknowledge it as it’s obviously ambiguous at best. Just find all the defensiveness a bit weird 🤷🏽‍♀️

I think he needs a new life with someone who likes him.

I agree with 5128gap.

The thing is, laundry has to exist (unless you are somehow able to outsource it to a laundry service). Some things can go in the tumble dryer but plenty can’t. Having a partner who objects to the existence of wet, washed clothes is really weird and annoying - it’s like living with someone who is annoyed whenever you switch the hallway light on or use the toaster.

In the past, my husband has got annoyed whenever the washing machine goes on, whenever the tumble dryer goes on, whenever the dishwasher goes on. He thinks these things should only go on when we go to bed. I disagree, partly because of the fire risk of having the tumble dryer on overnight but also because it means I’ve got to remember to put a load on just when I’m tired enough to go to bed.

In this case, it’s probably worth deciding how much you can accommodate your husband in this. I use Surcare powder because one of my children gets eczema but also because all other brands now stink to me.

The OP is a woman and as a woman is entitled to navigate sexism towards herself as a woman any way she wishes. No one gets to tell someone from a disadvantaged group how to be disadvantaged and what they SHOULD find offensive. Not even another member of that group. Its very personal. Not to mention the two insults are entirely different, with Karen being unambiguously sexist, and BGB up for debate. There are many women on the thread who have explained repeatedly that BGB is an insult towards someone displaying inappropriate levels of fragility, and that the insult lies not in likening men to women, but to a flimsy item of clothing that may be worn by some women. If you as a woman find negativity about an item of clothing sexist, that's up to you, and you can ask for it not to be used if you like. The OP then gets to choose whether to accommodate your feelings. But you can't tell other women to be offended by it.

I would suggest trying the Surcare brand. You will get cheaper products but if he knows the brand used is for sensitive skin maybe it will have a bit of a placebo effect?

Has he had allergy tests done? Perhaps if he did this and it showed he doesn't have an allergy he would then be more likely to agree it's somehow psychological?

Would he go to cognitive behavioural therapy? This can involve looking at phobias / gradual exposure to phobias.

I can see that in some way it will be related to his PTSD.

Also sorry sidenote but I do agree with many peoples understanding of the blouse saying OP. Clearly we've just grown up understanding it's meaning differently but I have never heard it being used in the way you describe 🙈.

I'd say the glaringly obvious answer to this is that's its psychosomatic. So while there isn't a physical cause (or possibly a slight one, so on occasion he's effected by pollen brought in on line dried clothes) it still feels real. So he's not being a BGB as much as someone who's mind has convinced him of something unreal. The only way around that would be to prove otherwise to him, so exposing him to the wet washing when he's unaware of it then telling him you've done that. Done enough times it may convince him provided he isn't invested in having this allergy for other reasons.

Is he controlling in other ways op? If not then I think your looking at a phobia triggered by his army trauma.

Isn’t it pretty obvious if he is suffering from allergy reactions? Is he actually sneezing /sniffling and his eyes red etc? I don’t think many people can just sneeze whenever the want 🤧

if not, have you thought he may have some phobia or PTSD around wet clothing?

I’d suggest he see a specialist for one of the above!

Yeah surely this is obvious? So weird! Op why do you call yourself Karen ironically but then say sexist stuff? I never get why women do this. It’s bad enough when men do it but come on!

What a weird thread! Can’t you just tell him to do his own washing if it’s an issue?

I also don’t get the weird sexist phrases and why op is defending it so much?

He’s doing it so he never has to do the laundry.

...not only that, but "you're being feminine...and therefore pathetic and weak".

Do you struggle with reading comprehension? The phrase is big girl's blouse, the meaning of the phrase is 'you're being feminine'.

If you want to use it that's fine, but it is a sexist phrase.

I would say generational. My nan said it, haven’t heard it for years.

I've started making my own washing detergent from conkers (see Nancy Birtwhistle) not the right time of year to forage for conkers, but worth a try later in the year.. It's one of my dh weekly jobs to make a batch up.

I actually did an experiment in our last house. We had a kitchen living room open plan thing and when he was watching TV I very quietly unloaded the washing machine (he couldn’t see, TV was on loud too so couldn’t hear either) and left it all by the machine, and left the room. Came back 20 minutes later and he didn’t complain one bit or even clock on that he was in the same room as a pile of wet washing

He's taking the piss. Not an attractive trait. Presumably he did his washing and managed perfectly well before he met you. Or maybe mummy did it but as you now know, she didn't have a tumble dryer and dried clothes at home snd it didn't bother him. Perhaps he now has a fixation phobia. The whinging would drive me nuts tho

Well done OP for standing up to the herd of bores - you made me laugh out loud 😂

@KarenNotAKaren I found buying the cheapest detergent helps, (I'm sensitive to the more heavily fragranced ones, they make me itch!) They are still scented but not as heavily as the more expensive ones. I buy unscented fabric softener, surcare isn't that expensive and a little bottle lasts me ages. (Just seen you don't use fabric softener, nevermind!)

Oh get over yourself you big fucking Jesse 😂