To think my DH is being a big girls blouse about the the washing?

I have an issue with some cleaners and strong 'fragrance' smells, until fairly recently I just washed without and fragrance, I was like 32 before I found one I could stand... I also have an OCD issue about several 'wet' things.

I manage the washing machine washing OK though, at least its 'clean' water its not on any planet the same catatonic visceral panic reaction I get to bin juice, toilet water or dirty sink soup etc...

Yeah I hate this phrase so much

I don’t think it’s wet washing I think it’s the scent in the detergent which is stronger when wet.

I feel his pain. I am allergic to food while it is being prepared but not when ready to eat, and also to dirty dishes but not clean ones. The sound of a vacuum cleaner makes my ears itchy. Sometimes I have to go and lie down while these things are going on in the house. I would love to do all the housework, but this is just a cross I have to bear.

I wonder if they vary much?

My SIL has a Drysoon heated airer and she absolutely swears by it. She reckons it's saved them a fortune.

Mind you, she does have an inordinate amount of laundry - DNiece puts stuff in the laundry even if she's only had it on 10 minutes and has 3 changes of clothes most days, if you include pyjamas; and her BF is a sports coach so there's at least 2 lots of sweaty kit from him.

But cold urticaria is a well documented illness. Wet washing allergy, not so much. There isn't anything he could be allergic to that wouldn't cause a reaction when dry, and OP has tested her hypothesis - clearly something psychological is going on with her DP. That doesn't mean his symptoms aren't very real, it's just that they're caused by a psychological response rather than an actual allergy.

He could get CBT to deal with it, it'd be cheaper in the long run, but he'd first have to admit that it's psychological which he may be unwilling to do as there's such a stigma attached to any kind of mental ill-health.

@KarenNotAKaren

Here we go didn't take long for the Constanly Offended about anything and everything
that's @EdinGirl about the title " Big girls blouse" 👚 too,

It makes me laugh about the absurdity of people getting easily offended by the title 🤣 of Big girls blouse .

I really like the title of your mumsnet thread even more now.🤔 😏

looking forward to the easily offended brigades. Nonsense of being easily offended by allmost anything..

sorry @KarenNotAKaren but this made me chortle.

No bullets required, just Lob a pair of damp pants

I def think your DH being overly dramatic and might get more sympathy without the drama-it would infuriate me if the stealth testing did not trigger any reaction but if he sees it he has one.

However wet clothes drying inside can cause asthma flare ups and the damp clothes will release mould spores. Which ppl are allergic to. It is a big problem in Uni houses when the students dry their clothes in their unventilated rooms.

I do think some allergy testing is in order.
I also wonder about unconscious past trauma.

THIS!!!

Problem solved.

My first guess is that it’s related to his army experience - displaced trauma or ptsd.

What you should do about that, I’m not sure. There’s a tricky line between supporting someone dealing with an issue and accommodating it, which can make it worse.

But the gender focused insults (you’ve used two so far) are resonant of army brutalisation tactics, as well as some deeply internalise misogyny - what’s going on with that op? It really doesn’t sound like there’s a lot of kindness or psychological safety in your home environment. What are things like otherwise?

Same here.

Only today I read that some men only wash their towels once per year!
That would be your husband if he lived alone.
Come to think of it, how would he go on laundry wise if he lived alone?
Would he have to wear hazmat and respirator just to unload it?
I couldn't cope with that level of drama. I'd have to keep poking him with a pointy stick until he stopped moaning.

What sort of woke shite world are we in on MN? I would much rather read a post like this, well written with humour using a term everyone knows and understands than the bollocks on the feminist boards. All those commenting on big girls blouse, go back to your feminist board and slag off the trans people you hate so much.

OP it sounds like you DH has a block in his mind about this, some sort of psycho social environmental thing. Or perhaps he is just being a "big girls blouse". I hate tumble dryers as they shrink everything and wouldn't be without my heated dryer.

Of course it's misogynistic - it's the association of femininity with weakness. Like calling a man a pussy, or telling him to 'grow a pair'.

Buy a packet of Benadryl and make him take one every time you do some washing. And tell him not to be such a wuss.

In the days before liquid detergents, I used to find that some soap powders made my nose run and gave me fits of sneezing, but the liquids all seem fine. The perfume in some fabric conditioners has the same effect though, so if the ones that I know don't trigger me are out of stock, I open bottles sniff any that I haven't used before to see if they make me sneeze. This gets a fair few odd looks in Tesco ...

I'm not sure that skin testing would necessarily help, because I don't think they list ingredients on the bottles. If you know it's the conditioner that does it, you could always try making your own from white vinegar and bicarb, some people swear it works.

Orm you could just LTB!

@Cornishclio I know - I have been shot down in flames because I have tried to point this out
But they are determined to make this into a big thing (rather like the blouse) and they are adamant they are correct. It's amazing how the wrong interpretation of something can be taken as truth if enough people scream loudly enough
I think this is an age thing.
Those saying it is sexist clearly do not want to understand the true meaning

This is most likely psychological. Who knows why. Did someone once attack him with a wet sock, is it an army thing etc?

I would want him to try and address this because it makes family life harder. Can he accept it’s psychological? Your experiment largely showed this.

Would he be willing to do some self-help and try graded exposure at home?

He needs to help himself. Does he do any laundry at all?

Get an EBAC dehumidifier as these have air purifier settings as well.

I can't really understand how line/air dried clothes can make someone itchy but not machine dried ones.

it makes him sneeze, wheeze and gives him itchy eyes. Apparently.

So you've never seen it & don't believe it?

He only makes a fuss when he sees/hears you getting washing out?

Also how ridiculous people moaning about big girls blouse. It is a saying and has no hidden meaning and does not denigrate women at all. I am over 60 though and have heard it many times before. Just means he is being a drama llama. Or does that denigrate Llamas? 🤣🤣🤣

I’m another one with late onset allergies and I’m sensitive to all sorts of things and it is sometimes worse than others. If he is sneezing and wheezing it suggests his allergy is a thing.

I had a boyfriend once who thought he was allergic to prawns, because he’d once had a panic attack/crying fit as a child after eating some and his mum told him he must be allergic. For years he’d get uncomfortable and physically itchy and breathless if anyone was eating prawns near him. Eventually he went for a test and it turned out he wasn’t allergic at all, and now he happily eats them. So what was happening before? It was certainly real (in the sense of not pretend)- a physical manifestation of a mental state.

If you got the washing out without him noticing then this allergy is in his head. I personally would have no truck of it and would point out tumble drying ruins clothes, is bad for the environment and is expensive.

We do several washes a week and either hang clothes on a hanging rail to dry or a clothes horse in a spare bedroom or sheets over the bannisters. Obviously in better weather it goes on the line outside. The only thing I dry in our dryer is towels as it softens them.

Find an alternative way of drying them or just sort out your laundry and let him do his own. You could change detergent as he might be sensitive to that. How is he otherwise? Does he get very fussy or particular about things? Maybe he is OCD.

Nobody interprets it your way. All we hear is yet another insult directed towards weak men that uses girls and women.