To think my DH is being a big girls blouse about the the washing?

I agree with others that he needs to go for allergy testing to rule out an actual intolerance.

Kind of goes with the username too doesn't it!

Ok we get it - some people are offended by the innocent error of the use of big girls blouse. This thread isn’t about big girls blouses so if you want to discuss it why not start your own thread so the rest of us can focus on making suggestions that might actually be helpful to the OP. I’m sure she considers herself duly chastised.

That may be true. But girl´s blouse, Victorian maiden etc.?

These term do have a gender-related component / relate to either being an item associated with women (or girls) or being a woman.

Using associations with femininity (or being feminine) as an insult... Well, I do find it rather unpleasant.

A couple of people have asked how he reacts to damp towels after a shower?

A female colleague berated another by telling her to "grow some".

Impossible to tell until they’ve tried totally un-scented products.

I am leaning towards this being a psychological "allergy" rather than physical, perhaps linked to some of the awful of conditions he had to ensure and survive as part of his military service.

Just because it's not physical doesn't make it any less real to him, and it would explain why no symptoms when he is unaware of the washing.

Trauma can exhibit in strange and unexpected ways.

I would think the first port of call could be one of the helplines for ex military to arrange someone to discuss the issue with.

What does he do if he has to do his own washing!

I’d be wondering if this is a form of weaponised incompetence and his ‘allergy’ basically means he can never do the washing.

It is perpetuating toxic masculinity all whilst using women, femininity, feminine clothing and being plus-sized as an insult.

It’s a fact that blouses - traditionally an item of clothing worn by females - are usually made from softer, less robust fabric than shirts - traditionally an item of clothing worn by males. The ‘big’ isn’t an insult to plus sizes! If you called someone a ‘big baby’, the ‘big’ would be referring to the person you’re talking to, not insulting overweight babies!

We won't be able to say anything soon. Someone called your DH a massive baby , is that babyist ? Another poster mentioned a clothes horse , is that animalist ?

No , of course not . People need to stop taking offence at the slightest thing .

It's certainly possible to develop allergies as an adult - I've had bad hay fever since my mid-20s, having never had it as a child, and I now go into sneezing fits around dust or if there are cut flowers in the house. And line-dried clothes are a well-recognised trigger for pollen allergies, so that all makes sense. The wet clothing issue is less clear, and I wonder if that part of it may be more psychological? Unless it's a separate issue and related to the detergent/fabric softener being used.

I have an autoimmune disease that leaves me with issues different to your DH. But we changed to non bio and use no conditioner and I’m fine. I can’t however hug my grandkids because the stuff their DM uses sets me off. So it’s no hugs or suffer.

Is Big Boy's Blouse acceptable? Asking for a friend.

Phobias are irrational fears but they can cause physical symptoms to appear and are very debilitating to the sufferer.

If your DH didn’t realise the washing was there, then obviously he didn’t react badly because his physical reaction is caused by his phobia, rather than an actual allergic response.

I recommend he goes and sees a good hypnotist to cure his phobia.

Good idea, he can try that because he's now in charge of the laundry.

combatstress.org.uk/helpline#:~:text=Our%2024%2Dhour%20Helpline%200800,mental%20health%20advice%20and%20support.

Hi OP - try these people. I'll bet there's nothing they haven't heard before.

How does he dry himself after a shower.....? What happens if it rains and his clothes get damp.....?

My blouse is highly offended 👺

if you were in the army and your ex army mates are doing it, it is to be expected.

If you are a wife talking about your husband and being insulting into the bargain? it's bloody horrible

This is a safe space, she's posting anonymously. His behaviour must get bloody wearing!!

Anyone else getting adverts for washing machines and tumble dryers on this thread?

that's your opinion. Others differ.

Any phrase that is used as an insult that in any way includes anything that is regardes as female, or uses female terminology automatically assumes female = lesser.
There is no way to interpret that as anything other than everyday sexism at best or misogynistic at worst.

I wonder if it’s a sensitivity to damp brought about by his years sleeping in puddles/wearing wet and uncomfortable clothes, and feeling ill - a bit like sauce bearnaise syndrome (where you develop an aversion to a food you have eaten and then been sick https://www.cell.com/current-biology/pdf/S0960-9822(20)31498-6.pdf )

It is of no benefit to him to have this disorder, unless he’s doing it to get out of chores, but it doesn’t sound like that’s the case, so there is no other option than to assume that whatever is causing the distress is real to him. If you haven’t already done so, can you sit down together and work out an efficient way of doing the laundry that minimizes the distress for him and the effort for you both?