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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think skin lightening is understandable?

29 replies

stella1091 · 04/01/2024 17:08

I'm half black but have been told I'm "white passing" so fortunately I've not encountered much racism or felt my race was ever a barrier in getting jobs, dating, etc..

My cousins who are fully black moved to Ireland and England and while things have been generally good, they have had several bad experiences with people treating them differently based on their skin colour.

Nearly all of them have been subjected to racial slurs and a few say that people in public places (when out in a nightclub, party, social gathering) would ignore them and be more likely to approach their white friends. They also say that they've applied for the same jobs as their white friends and been called back for far fewer of them.

My female cousin who is the same age (in her mid 20s) started lightening her skin when she was 20. She's in her mid-20s now and looks totally different. At first everyone around her was shocked but accepted it was her body. According to her, the difference in how she's been treated has been day and night. She's far more approachable to people (both guys interested in dating her as well as random people asking for directions). She's also gotten far more calls for jobs in her acting agency after she updated her profile photos of her lighter skinned.

I know the topic of skin lightening/bleaching is very taboo and while it can be harmful, I just don't see why it's considered more shameful than people undergoing dangerous plastic surgery to become more desirable.

I think people should "hate the game and not the player" when it comes to skin bleaching (i.e. the society that pressures people to lighten their skin as opposed to the people wanting to be more accepted).

OP posts:
Usernamen · 04/01/2024 17:48

I’m confused, do skin lightening creams really have a material impact on someone’s skin colour so that they can appear a different race or mixed race when they’re not?

In the adverts I’ve seen in Asia, there is a noticeable but not dramatic difference between the ‘before’ and ‘after’.

Lovetoshop365 · 04/01/2024 17:22

If every black person in the UK bleached their skin to to be 'more accepted' and 'approachable' then would we have a brown skinned people? It's considered shameful because it shows that you do not love your brown skin and are not comfortable in it. These women will go on to have children who, guess what will have brown skin and what are you teaching your children. Yes we may get looked past for a job and have to work harder for somethings but that is life. And you think I'm going to bleach my skin so that Callum can ask for my number....pls.
Hate the game?! LOL

takealettermsjones · 04/01/2024 17:12

Your last paragraph has it - It's not shameful for the person doing it, it's shameful for society and everyone who's ever made that person feel that they have to.

I'm sorry that your family have experienced that racism.

Out of interest, is your cousin happy with how she looks now, or does she wish it was not necessary? Or, I suppose it could be both.

pastypirate · 04/01/2024 17:12

I can really comment as I'm white and that would be arrogant but I did watch the Tan France doc on skin whitening which was distressing in terms of the experiences of racism.
When I've travelled around Asia I really noticed how normalised skin lightening ha as the products are advertised on billboards and made by mainstream cosmetic brands.j guess it's not a taboo there.

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