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Original poster

To not enjoy working in nurseries

86 replies

Pekoe78 · 03/01/2024 23:33

I’m currently wrestling with a problem in my working life. For financial reasons I’ve had to take on bank work for a couple of local nurseries. I’m qualified in early years so it seemed a sensible way of getting some much needed extra income. Obviously my personal job choices are my own responsibility so I’m not asking for personal job advice, I’m just asking if anyone else has tried working in nurseries and not really enjoyed it? I feel like I should like it as much as I loved working in a preschool but I find myself dreading the days I have to do bank work.

I find with both nurseries the staff don’t seem to particularly enjoy being with children. I see very little children (two) being told off for not painting correctly, for getting a puzzle out that hadn’t been laid out previously, for being too noisy, for not being able to immediately sit down to eat. I’ve even seen a baby being told off for dropping their sippy cup. It all just seems so oppressive and a bit joyless and the expectations of very small children quite unrealistic. The staff can be quite moody and abrupt and obsessive about rules and regulations to unnecessary levels. I know I’m sometimes not the most “on the ball” person, lack confidence and probably deserve to be snapped at now and then (as I have been) but at least I try to enjoy the job and try and make the children’s experience enjoyable. I find the days there very long and I’m on edge, afraid of putting a foot wrong. I never felt that at my old preschool.

I don’t know if it’s just me not gelling with a different approach or whether others have found nurseries quite challenging places to work?

OP posts:
OCDmama · 30/07/2025 20:55

Have to say, when we were leaving school at 16 it was the roughest, thickest girls who loved bullying the most that went to work in nurseries.

And why I would never, ever use one.

Newsenmum · 30/07/2025 20:39

MamaAlabama · 30/07/2025 20:37

I can testify to all of the above!! After a 20 year career I am desperate to leave. I wouldn’t leave a dog in some of the places I’ve worked. Even now in the ofsted rated outstanding nursery I’m at we have major problems with management and useless staff.

Parents really have no idea. I tell all my family and friends to use a childminder if they really have to go back to work.

This is so sad and worrying! What examples do you have?

MamaAlabama · 30/07/2025 20:37

I can testify to all of the above!! After a 20 year career I am desperate to leave. I wouldn’t leave a dog in some of the places I’ve worked. Even now in the ofsted rated outstanding nursery I’m at we have major problems with management and useless staff.

Parents really have no idea. I tell all my family and friends to use a childminder if they really have to go back to work.

secretbinger3 · 30/07/2025 20:35

Lionwoman · 04/03/2025 17:00

All of this provides further evidence to me that my instincts were indeed correct when deciding whether to return to work or put my babies in a nursery. I gave up my career and stayed at home to look after my babies until they started school at the age of 5. I went without holidays, nice clothes and material things and I don’t regret one minute of it. I got a whiff of all discussed above when I went to view 5 private nurseries and hated the idea of my children being in that environment. That was 18 years ago and looks like things still haven’t improved!

you are so lucky you had that choice.
your babies were way better off with you.

Confusdworriedmum · 30/07/2025 20:35

I loved working in childcare, was so sad I had to give up. I still miss it. Really hard work but still loved it.
I did bank work for a short while but always felt out of place and like I didn't know what I was doing. Much happier being permanent staff.
It sounds like OP was unlucky as there are some fantastic nurseries. I really hope I can go back one day.

Papyrophile · 30/07/2025 20:34

Take my hat off to you for working in nurseries at all. I cannot think of any job I would have done less willingly. (But I did try to split my week 50/50 when I had a LO because I liked my own.)

MsDDxx · 30/07/2025 20:33

Gowlett · 03/01/2024 23:39

Sounds terrible. Glad my DS’ place is so good…

That you know of. Unless you’ve worked there (or been a child there!) you’d never really know.

secretbinger3 · 30/07/2025 20:32

secretbinger3 · 30/07/2025 20:28

and this.

probably applies to me.

Show quote history

absolutely put me off having kids.

was so glad to leave it behind at 6pm. wouldnt want to do a 10 hour shift then go home to it afterwards. and this was a well known chain.

namechangetoouting · 30/07/2025 20:30

Hated working in nurseries school environment so much better. Shorter days more holidays more structured. Working in nurseries is a lot of sitting on the floor with lots of bitchy women.

secretbinger3 · 30/07/2025 20:28

mathanxiety · 03/01/2024 23:35

YANBU

Some people shouldn't be let anywhere near small children.

and this.

probably applies to me.

secretbinger3 · 30/07/2025 20:25

RaininSummer · 04/01/2024 18:37

I occasionally got sent to nurseries as a supply TA. Hated it. Noisy, sticky, very needy kids (not their fault as v young) and every 5 minutes changing activities and endless toilets and hand washing visits. Sometimes the staff were hard work as they made me wince with bad grammar being modelled to the children and incorrect ideas about science, maths etc in circle times .

probably this

justanotherboymum · 30/07/2025 20:14

@Newsenmum It’s a personal choice and I’m only talking about full time here, I think part time nursery in a good nursery can be great for children 😀 But yes, the under 2s who are in for full time, long days do miss out on that 1:1 attention that they thrive off, at the end of the day they have to fit in to the routine (just little things). If you have to send your baby full time then you have to and they will be absolutely fine. But if mothers had a financial choice to go part time I do think at a young age the child benefits (assuming a stable home life of course).

Newsenmum · 30/07/2025 19:51

Soccermumamir · 04/01/2024 19:57

I've worked in many different nurseries, and out of all them, there were 2 that I hated working at. I felt like everyone was walking on eggshells around the manager. However, I have worked in some lively nurseries. Some people should not be employed working with children as they clearly do not enjoy the work, yet I've worked with many people who adored their job. As did I for a long time. May be it's just the nursery you're at? Can you look at working elsewhere?

Oh god what did they do to the kids or were they just. Bit negative?

Newsenmum · 30/07/2025 19:49

justanotherboymum · 04/03/2025 17:53

They very much vary, I work in a great one but it's expensive. We have plenty of staff, only very rarely use agencies. I personally wouldn't want to send my child to nurseries full time for long hours after working there though unless I had absolutely no choice. My child did part time so had a balance, in the younger years they really do thrive off of 1:1 care at home

What’s your reason? Do you think they get leas attention?

Newsenmum · 30/07/2025 19:48

secretbinger3 · 30/07/2025 19:34

absolute WORST most LOATHESOME SOUL DESTROYING DESPICABLE job i've had BY FAR...

i was jumping for joy when i finally left...oh happy days...oh blessed merciful relief.

cleaning men's toilets in a well known fast food restaurant AND in a warehouse didnt even come close...

Please tell us why! This is really sad :(

secretbinger3 · 30/07/2025 19:34

absolute WORST most LOATHESOME SOUL DESTROYING DESPICABLE job i've had BY FAR...

i was jumping for joy when i finally left...oh happy days...oh blessed merciful relief.

cleaning men's toilets in a well known fast food restaurant AND in a warehouse didnt even come close...

secretbinger3 · 30/07/2025 19:34

absolute WORST most LOATHESOME SOUL DESTROYING DESPICABLE job i've had BY FAR...

i was jumping for joy when i finally left...oh happy days...oh blessed merciful relief.

cleaning men's toilets in a well known fast food restaurant AND in a warehouse didnt even come close...

justanotherboymum · 04/03/2025 17:53

They very much vary, I work in a great one but it's expensive. We have plenty of staff, only very rarely use agencies. I personally wouldn't want to send my child to nurseries full time for long hours after working there though unless I had absolutely no choice. My child did part time so had a balance, in the younger years they really do thrive off of 1:1 care at home

SouthLondonMum22 · 04/03/2025 17:50

Lionwoman · 04/03/2025 17:00

All of this provides further evidence to me that my instincts were indeed correct when deciding whether to return to work or put my babies in a nursery. I gave up my career and stayed at home to look after my babies until they started school at the age of 5. I went without holidays, nice clothes and material things and I don’t regret one minute of it. I got a whiff of all discussed above when I went to view 5 private nurseries and hated the idea of my children being in that environment. That was 18 years ago and looks like things still haven’t improved!

It wasn't my experience at all when viewing nurseries for mine. Mine go to an excellent nursery with low staff turnover.

Mine are thriving at nursery and I'm glad that I didn't have to give up my career.

Daisydiary · 04/03/2025 17:13

The decent chains don’t need agency as they retain their staff. Any nursery that relies on agency staff to function has bigger issues. I’m not talking about last minute emergency situations, but settings that regularly engage any old agency staff member so they can open in ratio. The agency staff that I have encountered have cost a fortune and don’t do much more than make up numbers unfortunately!

ExtraordinaryMachine1 · 04/03/2025 17:05

I used to be a primary school teacher (now in early years) and did supply work for an agency for a bit. Found it very similar to you, and probably for the same reasons: the naice little village schools had their own lists of friendly supply teachers (so I never ended up there). The hard work inner city schools didn't, and had to rely on the agency. I wonder if it would be similar for you?
My setting is teeny tiny and very different from one of those nursery chains, so we're in a situation more like the village primary school - we wouldn't need to use agency bank staff, because we've got our own list of people we'd call on.
I guess that means maybe it's worth calling round all the preschools, to see if they have any bank staff vacancies?? But probably you've already done that. Good luck OP, sounds tough.

Lionwoman · 04/03/2025 17:00

All of this provides further evidence to me that my instincts were indeed correct when deciding whether to return to work or put my babies in a nursery. I gave up my career and stayed at home to look after my babies until they started school at the age of 5. I went without holidays, nice clothes and material things and I don’t regret one minute of it. I got a whiff of all discussed above when I went to view 5 private nurseries and hated the idea of my children being in that environment. That was 18 years ago and looks like things still haven’t improved!

Katie3414 · 04/03/2025 16:37

Sorry to hear. I've wasted a childcare qualification 20 years ago I wished I'd never done. I didn't find a good nursery to work in then. I've tried to get back into it last year and I don't fit, in my 50s I was also the oldest. My observations weren't good enough a few months ago. This has taught me that a nursery will never be the place for me to work in. Schools are much nicer but incredibly difficult to secure. I just wished there were plenty of supermarket jobs nearby.

CrispsandCheeseSandwich · 04/01/2024 20:20

ActDottie · 04/01/2024 14:19

I think nurseries vary hugely and from what you’ve described you’ve unfortunately been working in some of the worst ones. Which given they’re having to use bank staff to fill vacancies probably makes sense as if it was a truly enjoyable place to work you’d think they’d be able to retain permanent staff.

I agree. DD2 started in baby room a year ago and all the staff bar one are the same as when DD1 started there 3 years before. I hardly ever see a staff member I don't recognise (I can't remember the last time I did) so I don't think they have much need for bank staff. I definitely see this as a big positive, not just in terms of continuity for DD but in terms of being a good sign that it's a nice place to work.

Soccermumamir · 04/01/2024 19:57

I've worked in many different nurseries, and out of all them, there were 2 that I hated working at. I felt like everyone was walking on eggshells around the manager. However, I have worked in some lively nurseries. Some people should not be employed working with children as they clearly do not enjoy the work, yet I've worked with many people who adored their job. As did I for a long time. May be it's just the nursery you're at? Can you look at working elsewhere?