Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Why won't my 20 month old settle for bed before 9ish

31 replies

moonsh · 03/01/2024 20:47

He's still awake, rolling around.

It's the same every night. He just doesn't settle until so late.

He goes to nursery and naps there - up to 2 hours a day- is that too long ?

I usually start the bed time routine at 7:30 or so and he's still awake now. We get into bed at around 8ish. He no longer sleeps in a cot. He has a double bed in his room. I always stay with him until he falls asleep. But he just messes around for ages, it's frustrating !

OP posts:
Dox9 · 03/01/2024 21:04

Dd is 9 yo and has had 9pm bedtime since being tiny baby. Naps, no naps, through years, her natural nightime sleep time is 9pm to 7.30am. I gave up on having time for myself in the evenings quite early on. The upside is that we have never had any ridiculously early morning wakeups.

Mielbee · 03/01/2024 21:02

Lying here with my awake 18mo so I feel your pain! Yesterday she didn't sleep until 11pm, which was due to a danger nap that couldn't be helped on the way home from a hospital appointment, but to be honest she has done that for no apparent reason a number of times. We have to cap her nap at 1.5 hours and wake her up every morning by 7 to stand a chance of even 8.30pm/9pm. I think she's on the lower end of sleep needs and has a late natural body clock so I think both of those together mean late bed times. We're going to reduce her nap by 10 minutes and see how that goes, if no improvement after a week or two, another 10 minutes. Good luck!

Freshstarts24 · 03/01/2024 20:58

Look at the bedtime fading technique. Ideally aimed at children over 2 but worth a shot.

I wouldn’t cut the nap as assuming he is up early for nursery it’ll mean he might not be getting enough sleep with a 9pm sleep time.

id try and phase out the laying with him too. But one step at a time, so definitely start with the fading and if in future you want him to self settle look at the gradual retreat approach.

Zanatdy · 03/01/2024 20:57

I’d ask for 1hr nap. Whenever my DD slept too long in nursery when she was little it was always because she slept too long

KarenNotAKaren · 03/01/2024 20:56

OP my DD is now 10 but she was exactly the same as a baby! I used to pull my hair out thinking “why the fucking fuck won’t she sleep”.

After many years of studying her , her patterns and behaviour I have concluded: some kids just somehow don’t need as much sleep as is the ‘norm’ and some fare better with a later bedtime.

I readjusted my expectations in the end and pushed her bedtime back. Which was a huge PITA as I wanted some time for myself but really I couldn’t bear the long drawn out bedtimes anymore, I wasn’t getting time for myself anyway!

PickledPegs · 03/01/2024 20:51

Yes, the nap may well be too long. Children only need so many hours of sleep in a 24 hour period and if he’s in the lower end of the sleep needs spectrum it might be that a 2 hour nap is using up too much of his sleep allocation.

You could ask his nursery to limit his nap to an hour and see if that helps, it did with my son.

Swipe left for the next trending thread