Do not want to look after someone's DC

I wouldn’t suggest this ^ OP’s husband might think that it’s a genuinely good advice…

Absolutely this.

You to DH: 'Sure, fine, of course the cousin can come over.'

Five minutes after cousin arrives, you announce that you're going out, then leave him to deal with them on his own. When DH kicks off, you tell him sweetly that 'it's lovely for cousins to spend time together'.

Rinse and repeat until your arse of a DH gets the message: cousin comes over, you leave him to deal with the kids alone.

This would drive me mad. EVERY weekend?!!

I'd be buggering off to a Premier Inn every time and letting DH sort them out - bet he'd soon get sick of it!

Next time your husband does this use it as a reason to get out to spend time with friends. Make sure you’re absent for dinner and bed time, then leave early the following day so he has to do morning wake up and breakfast. I’m sure your husband will get your point when he’s done all the caring and had to manage first hand the older children not wanting to spend time with the younger.

Does he think you and dc should not see your family to "help"? He is completely unreasonable. It is a shame child is disappointed but once a week is too often and dh needs to check plans and if everyone willing for overnight guest before agreeing.

So how much of this help does your husband provide?

I agree with pp, if he wants to help out, that's great.
He can help out.
You can go out.

Let's see how keen he is when "we" becomes "he"

Of course, if I'm making mean assumptions here and he actually does take care of this child, entertain them, cook, do bedtime etc then I owe him an apology.

Next time your DH offers to help, have a last minute family emergency and take yourself off to a local hotel, not coming back til the following afternoon. he wants to help? he can help, not volunteer you to do it

I’m guessing by ‘we have to help’, DH means ‘YOU have to help’?

The fucking twat is outsourcing you for childcare, OP! I’m so annoyed for you.

Well done for saying no and please keep saying no.

Tell DH to tell his cheeky fucker sister that a 14yo and 12yo do not have playdates with a 6yo.

I don’t know anyone who would do this .
Or even get away with it . She deciding your life for you .
Your dh is no better

Gosh no, OP's DH can look after his own kids and work on chores at his own house. Or just take OP out for a nice child-free lunch.

Quite. I find this a "bed, made, lie" situation. No one forced her to have two kids.

Does this chancer ever offer to help YOU in any way?

Offer for your two to go to hers.

Or if your DH agrees to another “sleepover” at yours, make sure you and your teens are out.

Thus is ridiculous, surely he can see that!

Every weekend seems quite extreme, why does DH think his family member needs that much help? What are the problems they are having? (as in, is this a temporary thing to get back on their feet, or an ongoing CF situation)?

I don’t see the harm in having them once in awhile, so I’d feel mean cutting them off completely, but every weekend is ridiculous!

I doubt OP's teens are interested in a hotel. But she should take herself off for a sleepover of her own.

@mumsytoon , you can't volunteer other people to do childcare, or invite yourself to other people's houses.

Next time your DH books the child for the sleepover book yourself into a hotel for the weekend - I bet if DH had to do 100% of the work associated with the sleepover he wouldn’t be inviting the child again!

It can't be fun for the 6 year old either? He must feel left out whether at home or at yours - but that's his mum's issue not yours!

They're all bonkers! Agree with PPs that you take your DCs to the cinema that night and leave DH in charge. And he changes the sheets and washes them, buys the extra food. Cooks etc.

Or do the 'offer your two to go to her for the weekend'. Brilliant suggestion....🤣🤣

I think that you did the right thing. Just keep saying, sorry I can't because we're out. She will eventually stop asking. I would physically organise something to do, so we're not in. My brother used to do the same to me. My child didn't like his child, so it was a horrible experience for everyone. My brother didn't care, as he wanted a Friday off. We signed up for late Friday night gymanistic sessions. Didn't get home until late, so my child went straight to bed. This stopped him asking anymore.

Don't just keep saying no, stop it all together. Tell her you can no longer provide child care as it has been taking over your own time as a family and preventing all of you from doing your own thing at weekends. You would be happy to invite her dc over for a couple of hours in a few months. You'll be in to touch let her know when it is convenient.

Is your DH expecting you to do the childcare/ laundry etc? If he's the one doing it all then I think it's a bit controlling to stop him seeing his nephew (or whatever relation it is).

However if he's booking you in for free child care that's really rude of him.

Why can't the mother invite the kids over if she's that desperate for her child to bond with them?

Excellent

Is there a reason for this? Like a family bereavement and the 6 yr old needing some male family influence or something?

so you not enjoy seeing this child at all? Seems a bit sad to say never to a relative.

Every weekend? Hell no!