To choose to just want one child

Indeed and you only have to look at the thousands of threads on here to see that sometimes siblings make the last years of caring for and the loss of a parent so much harder and that's if the sibling even helps out at all.

As I said above there's absolutely no reason to not have an only but there's always plenty of people trying to try to shame or guilt you if you choose that path.

Right but imagine how much worse they might be if they hadn't had siblings to adjust to as children. That in itself will have taught them to make little compromises daily @wutheringkites

But I wanted to and there is nothing wrong with that.

Well I loved my parents so yes I felt like that was my obligation.

You can love your parents and still not want to be their carer.

I'm one of 5 and two of my siblings are incredibly selfish, antisocial and uncooperative people. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Well I loved my parents so yes I felt like that was my obligation.

My sibling, had they not died, would have felt the same.

I have two siblings and I'm not even half as close to them as I am my closest friend - same for her. She doesn't speak to her sibling at all in fact, because he is an arse.

Having more than one child doesn't guarantee anything at all. I have been terribly lonely in my life and having siblings didn't change that one bit. I have still struggled through things on my own. If my parents need care when they are older, it will only fall to me - both of my siblings have moved.

So if you only want one OP, just have one. It's no one else's place to try to convince you into creating another life to keep the first one company 🤷🏼‍♀️

I’m an only child and DS will be an only child, due to having him as an older mum. I had a horrific 6-week long miscarriage after him and that seriously put me off ttc again. DH agreed so we just have the one. Years down the line I do wish we’d tried for one more but age wasn’t on my side.

Both my parents came from large-ish families but DH only has one sibling, who also has an only child, so I feel sorry that DS will only ever have one cousin. However, it is what it is and I don’t dwell on it.

Best of luck with your pregnancy and birth. I have two children but I am an only child. In the course of my life I've had several people say " you don't seem like you would be an only child"...what ever that means. I never minded being an only child and didn't feel I missed out on anything. Some siblings are close, others not. Nothing is a given. Raise your son to be a kind and considerate man. All will be fine

I have one dd who is a teenager now. I've loved being a parent of an only. There have been so many things we've been able to do together and I've been able to focus more on myself as an individual in a way that I couldn't if we had more dc.

I think it's very brave to be open about wanting an only. Society judges you for it so I have never spoken much about it - I always changed the subject when people asked if I'd be having more, and I let them assume that it wasn't entirely out of choice (that shuts down any criticism as people think you will burst into tears if they question why you don't have any more dcs). That suited me as I don't want to shout about my life choices to anyone, but I don't want them asking me about it either.

I know there are no guarantees but many people have happy, loving relationships with their siblings.

Once your parents are gone and your siblings pass you feel like you have no anchor. Especially if it happens at a younger age. It's truly awful.

I know some people are very happy being an only child. But I have seen it from both sides and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy to be honest.

You need to do whatever feels right for you and your family! You don't need to justify your decision to anyone else.

I have 2, and I found my love multiplied - not halved as I was expecting. BUT time and money is definitely a factor you can't ignore.

Not obligated to care for parents. It's wrong to assume siblings should be involved. People have their own lives.

There are plenty of families where it's left to one sibling to care for aging parents, having a sibling doesn't mean they'll provide help and support.

As for being alone. Their life will be filled with many people who aren't related to them. Having siblings doesn't guarantee they will be a part of their lives, plenty of people choose to move away and go no contact with family members.

The vast majority of the adult only children I know are inward looking, mildly unhappy and struggle to hold down long term relationships. For that reason I'm trying to have a sibling for my (currently only) child. No doubt the negative effects of being an only child can be mitigated against but I'm not sure id be able to do that effectively. I do feel that only children miss out on some important developmental skills.

The only one of my friends to be an only child was pretty spoilt - she did fit the often misjudged imagine of an only child. She’s mellowed with age

I'd give my right arm to have a sibling again.

It was awful caring for an elderly parent by myself.. The burden is huge. No one to share childhood memories with. No aunties, uncles or cousins for DC.

I fucking hate it. The idea of them being left alone keeps me awake at night.

I will be encouraging dc to have more than one.

For me I have one, and am 99% sure I want to stay at one.

Im not 100% so as we had an IvF baby we have paid for our spares to be frozen for 10 years so we have that option.

I don’t know one single parent with more than one child who doesn't have a favorite, so for me, knowing my favorite would be DD (because she is absolutely perfect) it wouldn’t be fair. I’d also not want to risk having a boy - mean I know but we’d need to travel for sex selective IVF

We have an only partly through choice & partly through circumstance. I remember someone saying on here that there are pros & cons to every size of family & I think that sums it up. It’s much more common to have one child now. I know a few adult only children & they do not fit the stereotype of an only child at all!

We have an only child. He's 8 and wonderful. Like other people he was a much-wanted baby conceived when I was 36 after years of fertility treatment. I never wanted to go through it again so we haven't. Both myself an DH have siblings/step siblings but we're not close to any of them (and one of my step-siblings is an absolute nightmare) and they've never been involved in DS's life.

I love that we can give DS so much more of our time and attention that if we had more, not to mention the financial advantages of being an only child. My only slight niggle is that he has a very small family and realistically once grandparents are no longer here he will only have us. But that's how it is and there's no guarantee he would get on with siblings even if he had them. By coincidence there are quite a few only children in his year at school so it's very much the norm for him.

Yes I only wanted one, definitively, no way would I do it again.....until mine was about 6 months old and I was desperate to make about 10 more of her. Am currently trying for no.2 but that definitely will be our last.

Ignore posters who confidently declare that two children is easier/better because they play together and will be friends when they're older. That might happen, but it might not.

For every family I know where the siblings get on and play, there is another where they don't. We just had a family stay where the 7 year old totally ignored his 4 year old sister for 3 straight days and each of the parents were effectively parenting one of them at a time.

This is a really helpful thread - @thecatsthecats do you have any more info on the early years project report? Would love to read it - our son is 7 months and likely to be an only

I don’t have an only but have a few friends who do. I see that they seem to have close relationships with their children, less stress, more money and holidays, more freedom etc. Also they tend to be the ones who pro-actively arrange meet ups with us and our kids so their child spends time with other children. Honestly just do what you want, either way has its advantages and disadvantages and is absolutely none of anyone else’s business.