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AIBU?

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Original poster

Bedtime - does it have to be the same time?

31 replies

itsnotforeveryone · 31/12/2023 22:20

My DH (and I) always go to bed at 10pm. We're not late night stop out types which suits us both. But, he sleeps more than me and he seems to need more. I always wake up earlier than him and I don't sleep great all the time. Sometimes I just want to stay up later, if I'm not tired or if I'm in the middle of something. But I always feel bad for doing it, like I'm keeping him awake.
For the record we are both semi retired and have a nice easy life so no stress to get up early.
My question is should we go to bed at the same time? Is it weird to do this or is it weird not to?
DH always expects us to, like its the proper thing to do. Occasionally, I'll be super tired and want to go and read in bed early - could be as early as 9pm. He will always come to bed with me. Winds me up a bit tbh. He never goes to bed earlier than 10pm but if I want an early night he does to?
Not sex related at all either - early nights don't mean early nights if you get my drift!
YABU - of course you should go to bed (most of the time) at the same time, it's the right thing to do.
YANBU - go to bed whenever you like on your own or together and stay up later if you want to - there's nothing wrong with it.

OP posts:
SnowsFalling · 31/12/2023 22:30

I actually get annoyed if DH comes to bed at the same time as me. I need to be asleep before his snoring starts!!!!

Bestyearever2024 · 31/12/2023 22:29

Go to bed any time you like and in any room you like

SouthLondonMum22 · 31/12/2023 22:27

Of course not. You're both individuals.

NerrSnerr · 31/12/2023 22:27

I have rarely gone to bed the same time as my husband. Usually he's in bed about 3 hours after me! We've been together since 2002 and it's always been the same. We're happy with the arrangement.

doodleygirl · 31/12/2023 22:25

That would drive me mad. We sometimes go to bed at the same time, other times I go up first and DH comes later and visa versa.

Nel1975 · 31/12/2023 22:25

My husband and I rarely go to bed at the same time. He definitely needs more sleep and is generally in bed between 9 and 10pm, whereas I'll be up until after 11.