Roast dinner at 1 - which of us is being rude?

But presumably she’s got things to be getting on with and not sat at home waiting for DH to get home so she can finally eat.

He wants it for 1.
He’s happy to continue having it ready by 1.

She gets it’s ready by 1 but he wants her to not eat it until he is home.

So he expects her to sit at home waiting for him to return and then reheat it and eat it together.

He either needs to be on time or eat by himself.
OP is not there simply to wait on him hand and foot.

IMO 1 pm is always too early for a Sunday roast.
If it really must be at lunchtime, 2 or 2.30 is much more civilised IMO, in that most people will be that much more ready for it, and having it in the early evening, say at 6 ish, is better still, and leaves most of the day clear.
You sound very rigid, OP.

As you say , cooking a roast is not an exact science...but any roast you can cook the meat and leave it to stand for an hour plus. Spuds are ready when they're ready, but you can easily take them out a bit early and put them back when you put the veg on.. which you can do once DH arrives back home.
Or just have ready for 1.30 or 2, you don't have to tell DH that plan.

Perhaps RTFT.

Get a takeaway

As she's the one that's cooked for an agreed time! I don't think she's the rude one...

You're both ridiculous.

Read her posts.

She doesn't want him to rush anything...

It wouldn't explode if you read the OP's posts where she's explained this. More than once.

He's not back 'on time' - the time here should be based on what you know he'll do (after 30 years) rather than what he says he'll do.

Tell him roast will be ready for 2 (or whatever time he tells you), and then plan for it to be ready for 2.30-2.45. If he actually makes it back in time, you can both share a drink or a cuppa as you wait for it to cook. It doesn't have to be ready for when he walks in the door, it isn't the 1950s! And if that's what he wants the onus will be on him to show up on time else he waits around (like he would even in a restaurant).

This way you both get to actually eat a hot freshly cooked meal together which I think should be the goal. But I agree expecting you to wait around and microwave a meal isn't the answer.

I think you’re being unreasonable to provide a full meal at dinner time.

Why? Why can’t you just let people enjoy their weekend? Most clubs and things for adults are weekend morning. Why should he rush that because you insist on a roast lunch at 1. Don’t you every do anything on a Sunday? Bit sad really.

Yanbu or rude at all.

I would book myself into the nearest gastropub for lunch and leave him a sandwich. Seriously. Or can you join him at the nineteenth hole and eat there?

YANBU. Tell him you are doing it for 1 but really do it for 1:30 or 2 depending on how late he is.

But it clearly doesn't work if he's never back on time and she ends up eating alone while his goes cold

Bit of both- you could push it back by an hour to give him a bit more time, but then he could be more considerate and make sure he's back on time knowing that you've put the effort into cooking for you both. Might just be me, but 1pm seems really early for a roast anyway?

@Rachellllleeee

No, I don't have to do a dinner, we both just like it once a week and I have the opportunity whilst he's out at his activity. It just annoys me that he agrees a time to be back and then doesn't stick to it. If we said 1.30 he'd see it as a pass until 2
...

So do dinner for 2pm but tell him it's for half one, that way he's not late as he'll rock up at the right time?!
Can you tell I'm used to dealing with those who take the piss with time lol

Make dinner for 1.30 but tell him it will be ready at 1, then he might actually get back before 1.30 when you dish up?

I think you both need to compromise.

Probably because he's not a child and shouldn't be pandered to like that.

Why keep cooking it for 1pm when you know he’s not going to be there? Chill out with some wine and have the dinner ready later.

Yadnbu OP.

He asks for it at 1, if he chooses not to come home at 1, then why should you wait? You say you could agree 2, and he would probably come late for that too.

You are not the rude one here!

He could always cook the whole meal when he gets back from his activity if he is insistent you wait for him. 😏

This time works for OP and her DH, which is why he’s asked her to make it for this time.

If it works for them both, why change it.

She’s just not going to wait until he decides to come home to eat, which I don’t blame her for.

Why don’t you just agree 1pm and then plan it to serve it later, when he gets back, as you know he won’t be home in time? It seems daft to stick to something that doesn’t seem to work for either of you. If it’s not ready when he’s back then he’ll have to wait but at least you’ll get to eat together.

YANBU, at first I thought you were delightfully bonkers (I know someone who has to eat lunch 12:30 on the dot every single day), but it turns out he's just a garden-variety inconsiderate husband. Hopefully he'll see the error of his ways.