Mum slapped me during argument with husband

Tell your mother to leave or you will call police and have her charged with assault I wouldn’t be having anything to do with her again but that’s me. Tell your waste of space husband he either steps up and takes care of you and helps with his baby or he will be in the divorce courts by February I wouldn’t be ever having another baby with that man. They are right you do need to be strong now you’re a mum you need to take care of yourself and not let people treat you like that so you can take care of your new baby! Be strong he/she doesn’t need to see you treated like this it’s not normal.

This is entirely not true.

Please let your midwife know

@Starzinsky did you miss the part where her mother slapped her in the face?!

THEY are the problem. Absolute twats!

I’m about to have my second and my Mum is coming to help me. She wouldnt sit by whilst my husband shouted at me and she would never physically assault me. You are 2 weeks post birth and vulnerable and dealing with a world of emotions on top of these unsupportive twats being horrible to you. You don’t deserve this at all OP. My mum is coming to help ME and make sure I’m ok emotionally as I also struggle with anxiety and found it really hard after the birth of my first and my husband whilst not horrible isn’t always the most empathetic (tho he tries). My point is- my mother is coming to be kind to me and make sure I’m taken care of. Your mother has been an absolute cow and worst of all been nasty to you va providing support. Get her to leave. Let your midwife know you’re having a hard time.

Sending you a huge huge hug!! This breaks my heart. Do you have any friends in real life you can speak to? Any sisters? Would MIL be supportive?

@penjil and @Glorianna Race and Culture are different. It's important to know the differences between them, and to use them correctly.

Culture
These are learned behaviours – thoughts, beliefs, values and customs – that you pick up as you grow up and choose to adopt or leave behind as you get older. You can have cultural elements and influences from various places, and in general, it’s your choice.

e.g. “I’m Irish, I can’t go to this house party empty handed.” And, “We don’t wait for our dad to sit down before we start eating anymore.”

Race
This is mainly based off your appearance and to some extent ethnicity. Race is usually much broader groups to try and categorise all people into just a few boxes. The exact racial groups differ from place to place (e.g. ‘Asian’ in Australia means something different to ‘Asian’ in the UK) but they’re nevertheless broad categories. In general, race is a distinction that’s placed upon you that you can’t change.

e.g. “I really like Latino women.” And, “I hang out with mostly Asians.”

And a bonus fun fact for you:
Ethnicity

This refers to those you have a common ancestry, language and/or culture. You can go as micro or as macro as you like, but the distinction here is heritage. For example, someone who is 5th generation Australian with ancestors from India may consider themselves still ethnically Indian. In general, you don’t choose this yourself (although you may choose the specificity) but it’s something that as a collective you give yourselves and refer to yourselves by.

e.g. “I grew up in Laos but I’m ethnically Chinese.” And, “My parents raised me here in Melbourne but I’m Lebanese – my great-grandparents migrated to Australia years ago.”

References
www.livescience.com/difference-between-race-ethnicity.html

science.howstuffworks.com/life/genetic/race-vs-ethnicity.htm

:)

You obviously need more support than they can give. I'd reach out to some support groups or midwife.

Well your mum sounds um interesting and def time for her to head home

Is your husband usually difficult? Do you guys usually argue? Is he sharing baby care? Is he working? When he leaves is it to calm down for a break or a punishment thing?

I don't nessarily agree that your husband needs to 'keep you happy' bit of a weird expectation

Oh OP I feel so sad for you. When I started reading I thought “oh the mum slapped the husband” and got such a shock when I read that she slapped you! They are both behaving like absolute beasts and you are quite right try at you are 2 weeks (!!) post partum. He should be supporting you gladly and your mum should have YOUR back all the time, especially right now. I understand that she’s from an older generation and thinks it’s better to keep you timid and accepting than risk your husband leaving, but she is absolutely wrong and her actions are indefensible. I would find it really hard to forgive this personally.

Hey OP, I'm so sorry you are going through this. You are healing from giving birth and have this new little human in your life, and I'm sure you want to be able to focus on the baby rather than be floored by the awful company you currently have. You have done nothing wrong and I hope you can get help, because you need to be taken care of also. Being so newly postpartum you must be exhausted and needing TLC. Your mother has her way of life and should not be forcing that on you, and your husband should be supporting you and showing you love. You have brought life into this world and that is such an amazing thing, I hope you find the strength you need to do the right thing for you and your child. If you have a supportive friend or family member please seek them out, I really hope you do.

more than likely a cultural situation. And if that’s the case it’s going to be very difficult for OP to get a good outcome here. If Pakistani or Indian family, the communities are very tight knit, and extended family are particularly involved. So support within the family is going to be extremely difficult. But there are authorities out there who specialise in this sort of situation if this is the case, which is why it’s important that OP confirms which cultural background she is part of. Sounds an absolutely awful environment to be in.

What culture are you?
I am so so sorry this is happening to you
My mum is much the same. I wouldnt let us near us when I was postpartum. I was cursed and raged at and taunted but it affirmed my decision.
Please seek help.
Womens Aid and also Health visitor
If you need someone to talk to please message x

Culture can be any colour.

She says multiple times she’s 2 weeks PP,
not 4. It’s MN, you’ll only ever hear one side of the story.

I think angling at postpartum psychosis is a tad extreme just for not mentioning a baby in a conflict that’s not really to do with the baby.

Hopefully OP will get midwife/health visitor support and kick her mother out!

Who mentioned colour?

What has any of that got to do with the abuse OP is suffering and the atrocious views held by her mother?

Which side thinks it’s ok to slap someone especially a woman who has just given birth ?

Call your midwife ASAP and tell her exactly what you said here. Screenshot your post if easier.
You are being abused, you are vulnerable. Do not minimise this. This is not normal. You need to get out out.

Also you can make a police report.
Your mother hit you,
Your mother hit you.
This is really serious. Your midwife will support you as will your health visitor, women's aid etc. Help is out there. We are all supporting you too. You have the strength xxxxx

There isn't a side that makes it okay for one adult to hit another and threaten to continue to do so

Which is what the OP is seeking support for

Feels like I'm missing a lot of back story. On the face of it obviously you contact midwife first thing, your mother leaves and you seek a swift divorce from your very strange husband and this strange situation.

You can have different cultures that are still white.

I wondered if it’s cultural as the dynamic with the mum’s antiquated, sexist views seems very at odds with what would seem normal in 2023.

Where abouts in the world are you, OP? Some of the wording you have used, and the time difference in your post makes me think you're not in The UK?

There may be some Mumsnetters from your neck of the woods who can guide you to what support is available.

If you are UK, please call women's aid!!

How the baby is fed is irrelevant!

You shouldn't have to put up with this from either your mother or your OH.

Is there anyone you can call for support? Friend? Relative you are close to?
Definitely speak to your Health Visitor as soon as you can. They will be able to support you.

You have done absolutely nothing wrong. You really don't need this from either of them.
I could have written this myself 24 years ago as I was in a very similar situation with a young baby.
I really hope you can seek support soon, and that things will get better for you and your baby.

@Korin19 if he takes your baby, police will always return the baby to you. No one is going to leave the baby with a dad or the dad’s family. Ignore those threats to keep you in your place