DH doesn't want to go on holiday....at all

Hope you have a lovely time, i've never had a hell holiday with my daughter at any age, the most difficult holiday was the one and only UK one we did as the weather was shit and we didn't have much to do.

Kitkatcatflap think you may have put this on the wrong thread? (PS congrats on the cancer survival)

Of all the things I have read on here - that is shocking. Your husband is a complete shit but you know this already. And what kind of a family supports such selfish callous behaviour? I swear, as fellow cancer survivor, if I had the money I would PAY you to leave him.

Take care OP.

Well, having just booked a first abroad holiday for this summer with 2 year old, I'm hoping it's not going to be the 'hell' that some posters describe...

Try something like centre parks, where bad weather simply means going into the weather proof dome.
Or days out, holiday at home with plenty of takeaways and toddler-tiring activities

I’d be too worried about how to keep non sleeping toddler quiet at night and early morning
so I didn’t ruin other peoples holidays

And nowhere to escape to, or other restaurants to try
Absolute hell

Yes that’s what works well for my autistic son. That’s the only way we can take him abroad, flying would be a massive no no now!

Absolutely agree.. my son loves cruising and has done it since he was 1

I don't think I truly enjoyed a holiday until my youngest turned 4. Prior to that it was all the hassle and tiredness of usual day to day life but with the added inconvenience of being in unfamiliar surroundings and having less space. I would happily not have gone for a few years, but DH really loves holidays so I took the view that I could suck it up for the sake of 2 weeks a year and tried to make the best of it. Youngest is 5 now and our last holiday abroad was actually really fun. I was surprised to find I felt relaxed most of the time, which is not a feeling I have associated with being on holiday since I became a parent!

I think if you're determined to go abroad with a non- sleeping toddler you need to approach it with a particular mindset. You need to manage your expectations, tell yourself that it is unlikely to be a relaxing experience, and thats ok because even if its stressful at times there will be nice moments. You need to adjust your idea of what a beach holiday looks like, because if you compare it to pre DC experiences of lazing on the beach drinking cocktails you'll feel short changed. But if you approach it as a change of scenery rather than a "break" you're less likely to be disappointed.

Sorry to go against the tide but I’m with you OP!!!!

We took DS (ND and awful sleeper) on holiday at 2 and although yes, pushing a crappy cheap stroller over sand is less than ideal and you do feel guilty when your kid watches 3 hrs of bullshit on a screen while you try and grab a few hrs of sleep…the memories and experiences are EVERYTHING!!

DS spoke about nothing else except the hotel for about a year after. Go tacky and child friendly…think kids club, bingo and an awful Elvis tribute act.

Yes it’s hard work but somehow a break from the monotony of life at home xx

Team DH, I'm afraid. I have no desire to take my 20 month old abroad any time soon, and she is a good sleeper! Probably because she's a fucking tornado for 12 hours a day. Save your money and go when you can all enjoy it. Being away with no sleep and none of your usual conveniences is more miserable than being at home.

Airports and planes will be absolute hell for you all and whoever has to sit next to you.

Airports and planes have been a breeze for us since DC were old enough to watch a tablet and wear kid size headphones. Which as I recall was about 2.5 yrs old. (It probably helped that screens were otherwise limited so it was a treat).

I'm on your DHs side here 🤷‍♀️

I agree with your DH on this one. We persevered with family holidays when the dc were only young and also terrible sleepers, and more often than not we would get back home swearing blind we weren't going to bother again for a few years and saying what a waste of money it was. Then we'd stupidly decide to give things another chance the next year only to regret it again. It's easier now that they are all older in some ways, harder however in others, pleasing tweens isn't easy at any point in time. You need to find that sweet spot when they're old enough to appreciate and enjoy it but not too old to be hard to please! I'd give it another year or two tbh.

Airports and planes will be absolute hell for you all and whoever has to sit next to you.

Why not have a family friendly but less basic holiday in the UK?

Holidays are often more stressful than being at home, your DH is probably right.

When we had two poor sleeping toddlers we took my parents on holiday with us. We had two apartments and they helped out sometimes by babysitting and sometimes by taking one or both DC out.
It was expensive (they couldn't have afforded it) but it did work well.
A week in Menorca in June, short flight, not too hot. You don't have all the stuff you have to do at home so while it's not the same as a couples holiday it can work. Also make sure you do shifts of watching the children so one rests while the other digs sandcastles.

We haven't been abroad with DTwins yet. They are 4.

They won't sleep properly in a new bed in a new place, and this means sleep deprived DH and I, with none of their home comforts and hot weather to make them cranky.

We're going on an amazing holiday as soon as we feel we'll all enjoy it. Until then, I'll just be pissed off that we wasted thousands to have a worse time than we would just taking the week off at home.

It's killing me not getting in the sun. Before DT I'd holiday 2-3 times a year. But I'd literally rather walk over hot coals than waste money on what we know will be a disaster right now.

Absolutely team DH. There's always next year.

That sounds like hell. Not just your own demanding kids but everyone else's as well - some of whom are probably really badly behaved.

I think your DH is right.

But if you do decide to go, don't go to Spain in August. It was ludicrously hot this year.

I'd wait until the 2 year old is 4.

Or try the Channel Islands for a long weekend or something, you can take the car. Or Ireland. The CI have nice weather and you could be lucky with Ireland too.

Lots of nice places near Barcelona for a short break…

I tend to agree with others that I wouldn't bother trying to take a toddler abroad who doesn't sleep. It will just be the same daily grind but in an unfamiliar place. Not worth the money. We didn't go abroad until our youngest was 6 and had stopped throwing tantrums everyday if his routine was changed. Even then it was still hard work.

We have had some amazing holidays overseas with babies and toddlers. We used tots too, which was fantastic for little ones. We had everything we needed plus registered childcare and used them for years. Amazing experience! Absolutely book it. You need a break!!

https://www.totstoo.com/