I can’t get my head around it - much as though I try.
My sibling is insisting I apologise for things, that I don’t recall doing or honestly seem trivial to me. I have really tried to see things from their point of view but I am drawing a blank. My DH thinks they know exactly what they are doing but I would prefer to think it’s subconscious - I don’t know why anyone would behave like this on purpose.
When I point out that I don’t understand, they claim I am gaslighting them and invalidating their experience. Then I question myself even though I did not mean to manipulate them at all I worry that I have. They also periodically do it to our parents and their in laws and if they don’t apologise they will say until they do they won’t see DGC. Their in laws have very little to do with them as a consequence, which my sibling believes strongly is their fault and tells everyone in our family (when they’re in the good books) that their in laws are just the difficult sort and unreasonable.
I leave interactions feeling really confused by them and running it over and over in my head, I don’t know what could cause someone to always need others to apologise to them? Is it something I can help with?