Husband GOT UP

Your children should be able to get their own snacks op

* locking self in bedroom seems to be no barrier to kids/husband banging on door and requesting snacks etc. Sometimes they text me to ask stupid questions like where is the milk etc).*

Three words to them. DO IT YOURSELF!!!

husband immediately pops up, yawning, asking for cup of tea.

Tell him to make one.

Remind him of this. Threaten this. Be prepared to have to do this.

There are some very intense responses on here! I think Christmas has broken me too - I fully get the sitting in the car park/M and S loo/darkened cupboard.

DH just doesn't get it. Love him to bits but if I'm on my laptop he'll often ask me to google something like the opening times of the tip. Er, I'm working.

Maybe find somewhere random no-one will know you? I did loads of work at a motorway service station once. Hustle and bustle around me is good, as long as it has nothing to do with me.

@Spirallingdownwards Mine are around that age and they absolutely do want my attention - very much on their own terms though! But in the holidays they probably would like a bit more.

Yes she probably had a spare £7k down the back of the sofa to build it

Yes it is his house too, but presumably he is severely disabled enough not to make himself and you a cup of tea!

Find a library/cafe and to hell with them all!

🤣🤣the children are 14 and 12 and probably don't want attention other than food!

I also WFH and hate hate hate it when DH decides to have a WFH day as he does very little and if he does work, its a VERY LOUD walking around phone call, I'm like fuck off back to the office. And other family members in laws decide to randomly pop by and DH likes to order lots of parcels cause he knows I'm in so I'm 'free' to interrupt my calls to answer the door. There is no recognition that WFH is actually working. its a bit better since I properly lost my temper with everyone but not perfect.

YABU to expect DH to stay contained in his bedroom all morning. He should be able to relax in his own house - considering he's usually at work.

You should have an office shed built in garden. In the meantime Travelodge would be a good option to get some quiet.

I think the whole wfh thing is hard for families if there's no home office.

And yes the crux of the problem is that we all need more space.
Bigger living accomodation.

How much would it cost to hire working space by the day?

Did you tell the family that you were working today?

You need to find a way of shutting a door, even if it's in a bedroom, and making it clear that you are working.

It's not fair to expect people to understand that you are working at 7 in the morning unless you've told them.

Getting your husband to build you a garden office sounds like the perfect answer. Preferably right down at the end of the garden.

I'm retired but enjoying this thread so much . Especially @BlackWhiteWhatNow 's posts . This
It is exhausting reinforcing boundaries - you have to spend a lot of energy thinking how you will present it, then tell them, then continually reinforce the boundary for however long until everyone learns. It's another job for the to-do list isn't it?
is exactly how I feel!!
And this
All the family, all their weirdness, all up in my face for whole days and nights

You need to set some firm ground rules. Maybe the first should be nobody talks to you when you are working, until you reach set break times.

Every sympathy. They're all rubbish. I'm sitting on the "broken" pile with you.

DH who has done the grand sum of @#$% all throughout the entire thing. Because he's on holiday!

Mad old mother who has been trained not to come into the room I'm WAH from. So contents herself with hanging round in hall and criticising my phone manner...

But absolutely at 14 teens should not be asking for snacks. Indeed they can help ,or do the family meal

I think you need to find a clear working space that is not in the middle of the communal areas and make it clear to everyone that this is your work space. I assume you don't have a spare bedroom, but maybe a coner of an under used dining room? Put up room dividers somewhere? The shed/garden room idea? And yes big headphones. Alternatively I think you need to find a local cafe/library or even a workspace you can rent for times you need to work that dh/kids are at home.

But yes teens interrupting by banging on doors for snacks is a bit pathetic...

You need a workspace away from home. A wework or similar set up.

It is not fair to expect anyone who lives in a house not to actually use it

If your children are around 14, it's high time you stopped making them snacks. Tell them they can wait for meals or make their own, but on any basis you will not be interrupting your work to wait on them.

Wow if my DH lost his shit at me because I didn’t stay in my bedroom, I would be ending it there and then.

If I came on here saying my DH lost his shit at me for coming out of my bedroom then every single poster would be calling him abusive and for me to LTB.

You sound like an abusive bully and have no right to lose your shit at another family member because you think they should stay in their room away from you.

If you cannot cope WFH, then don’t get a WFH job.
Don’t use it as an excuse for your vile behaviour.

Working in the central living space or kitchen and demanding not to be disturbed isn't reasonable.

Getting angry at someone for waking up and going downstairs in their own house isn't reasonable.

Getting angry at someone asking for a cup of tea when you are making one already isn't reasonable.

I swear this site really loves to rag on men doing nothing wrong because they aren't conforming to a woman's unreasonable expectations. None of us would tolerate the shoe being on the other foot.

Yeah, why on earth are they still doing that? Is there a backstory? Would they respond to getting bollocked over it?