Husband GOT UP | Mumsnet

BlackWhiteWhatNow · 2023-12-29T08:21:52+00:00

I WFH in a highly creative role. I find it impossible to work during holidays / weekends when people are hanging around the house randomly chatting to me when I'm attempting to concentrate (locking self in bedroom seems to be no barrier to kids/husband banging on door and requesting snacks etc. Sometimes they text me to ask stupid questions like where is the milk etc). Husband reliably sleeps in when he doesn't need to get up for something, he works in construction and is off this week. I creep downstairs this morning for a couple of hours of peace / work and husband immediately pops up, yawning, asking for cup of tea. AIBU to demand of him why the hell he hasn't stayed in the bloody bedroom? He has NOTHING ON today. He is currently sitting there, slurping tea, breathing very loudly, preventing me from concentrating. Go on then, flame me (it's his house too, etc etc, blah blah) but jeez I've had to put up with so many people in my face and space this week I might kill him No I don't have an office Yes the bedroom is cold and it doesn't have tea or coffee making facilities I think Christmas might have broken me.

LBFseBrom · 07/09/2024 11:44

Can your husband not make tea?

Taxidriverinfront · 02/04/2024 07:59

Have you tried being The Husband? Because mine can work on his laptop all day without the kids asking him anything!

pickledandpuzzled · 02/04/2024 07:58

Go back to bed with your tea.

Original poster

BlackWhiteWhatNow · 02/04/2024 07:56

HE DID IT AGAIN

I think: I'll get up early for a little bit of alone time since i've been toiling for the extended family for the last week and they are all going to stay in bed since they all stayed up so very late last night and I didn't get any alone time then because I was serving all their needs like the hostess that I am

and yes, I get up, stick kettle on, just enough water for me (I got so much flack for this part at Christmas), pour water into cup, sit down at laptop and I hear

COUGH COUGH THUD THUD husband has awoken and he is now in the kitchen saying, 'didn't you make me any tea?' NO You WERE ASLEEP

He has nothing to do today, WHAT IS HE PLANNING? He sleeps in reliably when I have to get the kids up and out ffs

Jesus the farting, the dishwasher faffing, he has put the RADIO ON

I hope the police don't see this thread because he might be dead soon

And before you ask, YES I DID MENTION IT LAST TIME and I implied that in the holidays I would encourage him to sleep in like he does at inconvenient times of his own choosing

GAH

OP posts:

Sue2704 · 02/01/2024 11:17

Sorry I think you are totally unreasonable. It is husband and children’s home. you should sort out a proper workspace -hire one if you have to. You have no travelling or office wear expenses to come out of your salary. If your job is so important and you are so grouchy that you can’t cope with minimal interruptions from people you love I’d hate to sit next to you in an office.

Emotionalsupportviper · 01/01/2024 18:42

Eleganz · 01/01/2024 16:03

Or not try and do high concentration work in a kitchen.

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Sometimes the kitchen table is the only one large enough to spread out your stuff on - especially if you are working in a creative area.

I used to put together language activities for people who had suffered strokes and head injuries - they were of all sorts of abilities/ capabilities, and I needed at least some tasks that could be made more challenging/ more accessible for a group of 12 all involved in the same sort of task, but with widely differing skills.

I had stuff all over the place.

Eleganz · 01/01/2024 16:03

chaosmaker · 01/01/2024 15:47

@BlackWhiteWhatNow In your shoes, I would be using flash cards whenever annoyed :)

Eg. Look at the clock, Use the toaster, I am working.

Or not try and do high concentration work in a kitchen.

chaosmaker · 01/01/2024 15:47

@BlackWhiteWhatNow In your shoes, I would be using flash cards whenever annoyed :)

Eg. Look at the clock, Use the toaster, I am working.

Original poster

BlackWhiteWhatNow · 01/01/2024 15:00

@Justia no he has learned his lesson thankfully

OP posts:

Katemax82 · 01/01/2024 12:02

SoupDragon · 01/01/2024 11:59

well, that's what you think the OP's DH should be doing. She was making tea when he asked.

It's usually a good idea to read all of the OP's posts.

Edited

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I thought she was sitting down working, no need to be a cow

rwalker · 01/01/2024 12:02

You need a space to work in

you cleared the fact up about the tea you were making one so he asked for one which is fair enough .I think people thought you were working and he came down demanding you make him a cup of tea

there have been post after post about partners working from home and the overwhelming response is normally to take themselves off to the bedroom or go to the office
and it’s the kids home so unreasonable to keep them quiet

get yourself organised and setup in the bedroom and if need be a notice on the door

SoupDragon · 01/01/2024 11:59

Katemax82 · 01/01/2024 11:55

No..that would be weird

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well, that's what you think the OP's DH should be doing. She was making tea when he asked.

It's usually a good idea to read all of the OP's posts.

Katemax82 · 01/01/2024 11:55

SoupDragon · 01/01/2024 11:42

Does he also always make one even though someone else is doing it right at that moment?

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No..that would be weird

Eleganz · 01/01/2024 11:47

AInightingale · 01/01/2024 10:06

I don't know what you do for a living OP, but I find it mindboggling that so many posters on here seem so sneery about the fact that any kind of creative work does require peace and quiet, and that it's impossible if you have a house full of noisy demanding people. I hope you get some respite soon when the schools etc go back.

I find it mind-boggling that anyone can think it is reasonable for anyone to expect the peace and quiet needed to do such work while sat in the kitchen of a shared dwelling during the Christmas holidays and then call people pointing that out "sneery". But that's clearly just me I guess.

OP needs to find a better place to work and to stop blaming her husband for her not doing so to date.

SoupDragon · 01/01/2024 11:42

Katemax82 · 01/01/2024 11:27

Sounds annoying. Why couldn't he make his own tea? For all my husbands faults he always makes a cuppa first thing for everyone, I don't but I make coffee out of the machine (sorry not relevant I know)

Does he also always make one even though someone else is doing it right at that moment?

Katemax82 · 01/01/2024 11:27

Sounds annoying. Why couldn't he make his own tea? For all my husbands faults he always makes a cuppa first thing for everyone, I don't but I make coffee out of the machine (sorry not relevant I know)

Justia · 01/01/2024 10:18

Did he get up again today @BlackWhiteWhatNow ?

LTB if so 😁

AInightingale · 01/01/2024 10:06

I don't know what you do for a living OP, but I find it mindboggling that so many posters on here seem so sneery about the fact that any kind of creative work does require peace and quiet, and that it's impossible if you have a house full of noisy demanding people. I hope you get some respite soon when the schools etc go back.

pineapplesundae · 31/12/2023 22:42

You poor thing. 🤭 I hope you have better days ahead.

Original poster

BlackWhiteWhatNow · 31/12/2023 15:17

@MrBojangles1983 I'm surprised you've never heard of a creative role before, but since you asked, examples include: Author, poet, creative writing for business, publishing, editing, fine art, web design, architecture, musician, composer, scriptwriter, makeup artist, fashion designer, sound engineer,

Sorry this is getting silly you must be winding me up

OP posts:

MrBojangles1983 · 31/12/2023 14:41

Seriously what is a creative role… I’m not being rude or sarcastic I have genuinely never heard of it before!

No nerves touched here- just think they have a right to use all the facilities as and when

However- playing devils advocate maybe he wanted to spend some time with you away from the kids 🤷🏻‍♂️

Emotionalsupportviper · 31/12/2023 13:07

BlackWhiteWhatNow · 31/12/2023 09:26

@VictoriasSponges I do appreciate everyone's views on what I ought to do... Also I see the value in hearing those views for people reading the thread who have the same or similar problem and need advice so need to discourage others from advising.

I suppose I took issue with you taking me to task for choosing to only engage with those responses that I thought would be funny rather than the constructive ones. I think, when people post, they don't necessarily want a fix for the problem (unless they ask for one, which I didn't.. Saying I was 'broken' wasn't a request for help and I'm struggling to see how you could interpret it as such. However it shows kind thought for others, which I don't have much capacity for in general so maybe that's why I don't get how you got there)

I've enjoyed every response on here, especially yours. I hope no one feels they have wasted their time reading and replying (note: this is a joke of many layers but meant to be gentle and self deprecating since I often spend hours on mn, and so does everyone else here)

Currently at kitchen table. DH has gone out but DS who usually sleeps in until 12 has GOT UP and just asked me to make him some toast

I am broken. And not getting any work done, evidently. Please don't help me I'm beyond help

Please don't help me I'm beyond help

I shall hold you in my prayers . . .

welliesandcashmere · 31/12/2023 11:14

Gosh. Find a lovely coffee shop OP. I find that they are more appreciative of me after being left to fend for themselves for a few hours.
I normally work from home - my teens are doing a lot of hanging around over the Christmas break, which is fine - it is lovely to see more of them, but I have taken to allowing them to stay up late on their gaming consoles, with friends, in order to snag a few hours of quiet time in the morning.

MargotBamborough · 31/12/2023 10:44

BlackWhiteWhatNow · 31/12/2023 09:26

@VictoriasSponges I do appreciate everyone's views on what I ought to do... Also I see the value in hearing those views for people reading the thread who have the same or similar problem and need advice so need to discourage others from advising.

I suppose I took issue with you taking me to task for choosing to only engage with those responses that I thought would be funny rather than the constructive ones. I think, when people post, they don't necessarily want a fix for the problem (unless they ask for one, which I didn't.. Saying I was 'broken' wasn't a request for help and I'm struggling to see how you could interpret it as such. However it shows kind thought for others, which I don't have much capacity for in general so maybe that's why I don't get how you got there)

I've enjoyed every response on here, especially yours. I hope no one feels they have wasted their time reading and replying (note: this is a joke of many layers but meant to be gentle and self deprecating since I often spend hours on mn, and so does everyone else here)

Currently at kitchen table. DH has gone out but DS who usually sleeps in until 12 has GOT UP and just asked me to make him some toast

I am broken. And not getting any work done, evidently. Please don't help me I'm beyond help

Please tell me you told him to make his own bloody toast.

Original poster

BlackWhiteWhatNow · 31/12/2023 10:27

@VictoriasSponges and @Yesididntdothat

I'm not broken, not really. There is a grain of truth in all of it but I'm fine really. I am learning a lot about how people interpret posts on here without context or tone of voice though

So much of communication is in the interpretation, which is true in real life but so much more true on here

I'm just trying to be entertaining... I can see it's not really going the way I hoped for some people

Maybe I should start using punctuation I don't know

OP posts: