To find SIL's comments on kids offensive?

My sister is similar. She got married this past summer but has always maintained that she doesn't want kids. Every time we spend time with her (not too often as she loves a couple of hours away, I always get comments like this. We were both at my parents over the holidays and my 4yo accidentally knocked some food over and she made a comment. I took it in jest and gave a lighthearted response.

Parenting isn't easy and it's not for everyone. 🤷🏻‍♀️ I personally wouldn't make a big deal about this.

I dunno, half eaten food is pretty gross, my 2 yr old will literally take it out of mouth and try to put it in mine. And if you're not used to everyday grossness of kids

I wouldn’t describe being covered by a yoghurt hug is crap.
what would SIL think of shitty nappies and snotty noses??
After all she clearly thinks that the yoghurt saga is disgusting- ‘ EUGH. The joys of being loved by a toddler hahaha.’
OP - Happy new year. Ignore the negative comments on here. And make sure you don’t forget to put lots of yogurts on your shopping list next time you go to Asda. 👍

😳

I love being a mother, I'm as over Ernest as anyone and was probably more annoyingly so than op with my first. And I struggled through infertility and loss to have them.

I'm not being sarcastic though, there's no reason to believe ops sil has anymore interest in being her pal with or without kids.

I wouldn’t find this offensive towards my DC if someone did it around them tbh, I’d probably just make a joke of it along the lines of “its a good job mummy loves your yogurty hugs isn’t it!” And give DC a big squeeze, yogurt or no yogurt.

or even “ahh yes the evenings can be hard but it is equal parts lovely when you get the bedtime snuggles”

or “yes I love sleep and would love to have more but it’s only short term so I’ll get it back one day haha”

or “yes vomit isn’t great is it but it’s crazy the things you do when you really have to haha”

Basically just light hearted comments that aren’t even digs, they’re probably things I’d say to people naturally if these conversations occurred.

She likely has her own stuff going on, as others have said, she might be trying to convince herself that she doesn’t want them.

Who knows, but I really don’t think you need to give too much thought to what she is saying, it doesn’t sound like it’s being said with any malice from what I’ve read.

@Shootin

give over, you can acknowledge the crappy bits of parenting AND still love being a mother

No love. I don’t think so.
No need for sarcasm. She just loves being a mother.

yabu sil is just sharing her opinion, you have to learn to ignore it. Yes it may be tactless but if you’re happy with your choices why do you care if she’s basically saying she is happy with hers too?
Also the toothpaste thing is bizzare, as is the yogurt thing - it sounds like you are making parenting look harder than necessary with some of these situations so obviously sils opinion could be influenced by that.

Not necessarily, she might have a child and think op was a crazily earnest parent who overegged the pudding about the joys of yoghurts faced hugs

So many disagreents on this thread but every one of us wants to hear the justification for the toothpaste saga 🤣

@hmln

Well I'd say putting my child to bed isn't wasting my evening and if my child runs to hug me (or DH) I'd say that's the biggest privilege in my life! Whether he's covered in yogurt or not.”

urgh op , that sounds so serious and earnest! Lighten up ! 😊

"Whilst I was breastfeeding my DD I had to watch DS squeeze out a tube of toothpaste onto the floor and smear it. No one else was around to stop him and he wasn't listening to my "please stop" "please give me the toothpaste""

this is hands down the most ridiculous thing- of course you stop DD feeding for 15 seconds to to stop this happening in front of your eyes. (Appreciate I'm missing the point of the thread- but c'mon you didn't "have" too)

also, for what it's worth I doubt she means any harm. Although I wouldn't have said it I definitely thought these things before having children!

SIL could meet the man of her dreams and have a child ( she once really wanted them)
Then the jealous comments would stop and everything would be hunky dory.
SIL would want to be besties with mum.

I feel the same as your SIL
& I have a child🤣 not offensive at all
imo.

Plus, if my child was smearing toothpaste all over, i’d not be saying ‘please stop’, I would be banning YouTube FOR LIFE!!

Well she's right 🤷🏼‍♀️ I often say these things myself! It's good she's realising that it's not all it's cracked up to be

True. But her SIL comments are pissing her off.
she should not have to put up with that surely?

Well again I don't see it matters. I'm sure we all have relatives who weren't keen on us as babies or maybe not at all. It's not going to affect the children as long as their parents love them.

Suspect the OP 's toddler is in full time nursery and op has some guilt about it. Parents who look after their own children are usually much more sensible

YABU. In no way is she personally criticising you or your children she is just commenting on things generally complain about when they have small children.It's possible she is just trying to make herself feel better about not having kids, it's also possible she is happy not to have kids. It is in no way comparable to you spouting about how awful and lonely it must be to not a partner or children, that is just bitchy.
Just roll your eyes and ignore her and be thankful you do have a (hopefully) nice husband and 2 kids you love.

As for *if my child runs to hug me (or DH) I'd say that's the biggest privilege in my life! *seriously op get a life.

Maybe they do. But obviously not from SIL.

Why's it a big deal? I tell my kids it's annoying when they mess about at bedtime, when they get food on my clothes etc, it's fine for them to learn to be considerate of other people and that their behaviour sometimes annoys people. Including people who aren't their parents. The specific things mentioned are annoying. I'm.sure the children get plenty of positive feedback about other things

You sound rather defensive. I have young kids and it's ok to admit it's hard going at times. You don't have to pretend you love spending 2 hours wrestling your child into bed or getting filthy clothes. Both of those things really annoy me!

Cut your sil some slack. Her comments are not personal. She's trying to make herself feel better about not having kids while you have the ultimate prize.

It would be ridiculous to complain about this. She is right - these are the annoying parts of being a parent. I would imagine that she notices these more than you as she has taken a different path in not having children. I think most people witnessing kids playing up think 'thank god I am not dealing with that'. Maybe she is being a bit tactless in saying them but seriously I think you should get over it.

@hmln You sound very touchy OP

what she has said is just factual

it IS annoying to have to spend two hours getting your son to bed, coming up the toothpaste he has smeared and having to change your clothes cos a child has got food all over them. It’s ok for these annoyances to be acknowledged by others and even by you - it doesn’t make you a lesser mum!