To ask what made you want to be a stay at home parent?

Well said!

Stop misquoting me, I am just defending the right for mums to SAH without shame or criticism from the fems on here.

I felt exactly like you. I found 0-18 months incredibly challenging. I yearned to be back at work full time, and have recently reached a point where that will be possible in terms of our lifestyle shared responsibilities etc. My DS is 2.5 now, and I've backtracked and am remaining part time because I just love being with him now, it's so much fun playing games going exploring seeing his little personality come out.

I've worked 60+ hour weeks in a relentlessly stressful job and can hand on heard say that was a piece of cake compared to the relentlessness that's parenthood, it's ok to not like parts of it. Do what makes you happy, it's a different journey for everyone.

I'm sorry if the truth hurts.

Nice try.
I'm perfectly happy with the choices I've made.

Unlike you I don't feel the need to criticise the choices other women make.

I'm sorry you are struggling with this due to your personal circumstances, you overwhelmingly resentful that some women have the opportunity to look after their children themselves. I am happy for women who choose to work but we shouldn't criticise those who don't.

I understand that thank you.

But the whole point of the thread is that the OP wants to go back to work. There is no sinister plot by feminists to convince her to do so. She wants to.

@ElaineMBenes

It's not as simplistic as you make out.
You're just a hypocrite. It's appears criticising SAHM is out of bounds but working mothers are fair game.

'Twas ever thus, though.

Discussing the positive benefits of working as a mother is "failing to validate women's choices". Or "being a rabid feminist".

But women who work are fair game because they are "not putting their children first". There's never a shred of evidence produced to support this argument. Just poor comprehension, bigotry and spite.

Yes sometimes it works the other way around, to be fair. Sometimes working mums are catty as fuck about SAHMs. But @youngones1 is in over her intellectual head.

I'm sorry if the truth hurts.

@Thepeopleversuswork I'm not sure what your degrees were in, but my point is that mums should not feel under pressure to go to work from feminists when they don't need to and can stay at home and look after their children.

Because they are putting their own interests above their children's interests.

Wrong.

It's not as simplistic as you make out.
You're just a hypocrite. It's appears criticising SAHM is out of bounds but working mothers are fair game.

@youngones1

Because they are putting their own interests above their children's interests.

Prove this. You can't, can you?

Because they are putting their own interests above their children's interests.

I did indeed go to school, thanks for your interest. I also managed to get a degree and an MA. But thanks for the cute little attempt at a burn!

You believe that people enjoy work. So do you also think people would go to work without being paid?

You do not have a choice, you have to go to work but the OP does have a choice, the fems are so obsessed about equal rights that they insist you should still go to work even if you can afford to be a SAHM.

This is a complete non sequitur. If I've read you correctly you are suggesting (without evidence) no one enjoys work and therefore the only reason for people to work is because they get paid for it. And by extension that the only reason to work as a mother is if you can't afford to stay at home. And therefore that no one willingly chooses to work if they can afford not to. Am I correct that that's the premise of your argument?

Surely if you've read this thread alone you would realise that's palpably wrong?

Literally the entire starting premise of this thread is that the OP doesn't want to be at home and wants to go back to work. Despite the fact that she doesn't need to work. I'm trying to grasp how you can believe that feminists are pushing the OP to go back to work when her starting post indicates that she wants to do it herself.

That is what is being implied, they are actually stating it sets a bad example.

If that is the case how is it any different to you calling women selfish for choosing to work?

That is what is being implied, they are actually stating it sets a bad example.

the fems are so obsessed about equal rights that they insist you should still go to work even if you can afford to be a SAHM.

Literally nobody is saying this

@Thepeopleversuswork I'm not sure if you went to school but let me respond as follows:

You agree that being a SAHM doesn't set a bad example.

You believe that people enjoy work. So do you also think people would go to work without being paid?

You do not have a choice, you have to go to work but the OP does have a choice, the fems are so obsessed about equal rights that they insist you should still go to work even if you can afford to be a SAHM.

The family courts are good to mums, do you disagree?

I research, write and teach women's career development for a job.
I'm not triggered by SAHMs as it's a perfectly valid choice.
I will, however, challenge stereotypes and untruths.

Who is triggered?

The OP started a thread asking if she was unreasonable wanting to go back to work. People responded with their views. That is how a discussion board works.

People not agreeing with you does not mean they or "triggered" (or bitter or jealous which are the two other hoary old chestnuts which always get wheeled out). It's called having an opposing point of view.

God this is boring. Don't you people get tired of yourselves? Imagine being this triggered about SAHMs for years on end. You must be exhausted.

This reads like great satire and thanks for the LOLz but assuming that it's meant to be serious: where to start?

Feminists are running riot on this thread

This made me laugh out loud (literally). Image popped into my head of memes of Suffragettes running around speeded up. (Goes off to do something creative on TikTok).

Being a SAHM does not set a bad example to your children.

Being a SAHM indeed does not set a bad example to your children. But signalling that being a SAHM is the only acceptable option for a mother and having a man refuse to do domestic labour does set a bad example.

The majority of people endure rather than enjoy work

Wrong. Just completely wrong. How on earth would you know this anyway? Have you surveyed everyone in the UK?

Parents need to start putting their children's interests first, not their own. Stop obsessing about your financial interests/ independence over your children's best interests.

If I didn't work, my child wouldn't eat or have shelter. Not going to be made to feel guilty by you or anyone else for supporting my child. "Putting my child's interests first" in your worldview would mean depriving her of family income which would be a breathtakingly stupid idea.

As for being somehow disadvantaged and beholden to your DH, don't worry, the UK has some of the most mum friendly family courts in the world, just threaten to leave and your DH will be very generous.

Are you actually a woman? It sounds as if you're a man.

@Hjjo please ignore the derailing and arguments on your thread, it always happens here around any discussions of SAHM vs WOH mums unfortunately.

Please don't feel guilty for not enjoying being a SAHM. People enjoy the various stages of parenthood differently - one of my very close friends really struggled with her DD's baby days and went back to work at 9 months. She found it much more enjoyable when she was out of the baby slog and DD was out of nappies, eating normal food and you can just grab a small bag and walk out the door. They have such a lovely close relationship and are best buddies now (our DDs are both 5).

She was saying to me a couple of months ago that she felt guilty for wishing her DD's baby and toddlerhood away, but I pointed out that you don't (or shouldn't) have a baby for the sake of having a baby - you do it for having children and for having a family. I hated the newborn stage but loved toddler/preschool age; even so I went back to work when DD was 1 and it's never occured to me to be a SAHM, even though we can afford it. In comparison, my sister absolutely LOVED the newborn stage and would have loved to be a SAHM, but is really struggling with my DN now who is a handful at the age of 6.

Everything is a season. Both choices are valid, but please don't feel that you're selfish for not wanting to be a SAHM. Are you under pressure from your partner at all?

Do you think career choices are biological?!

@HappyBusman I don't know, why do more men choose to be labourers than women?

Why is it a ‘choice’ disproportionately made by women?