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Original poster

Mother priorities her dogs over everything.

186 replies

Angrymum198 · 27/12/2023 20:34

I feel really upset tonight and I don’t know if I am exaggerating. My mum has two rescue dogs that she absolutely dotes on. They rule her life. She can’t be out the house more than a couple of hours, she has to be at home at 3pm as that when they eat.
she doesn’t welcome anyone into her house as it upsets the dogs.
Tonight I went round her house with my three young children and husband and her dog was barking and growling at my one year old. I tried to calmly remove him from the living room and my mum went mad.
I then stormed out and left. I feel that she puts their welfare before any of her grandchildren. She has 6 other grandchildren that don’t feel welcome at her house because of these dogs.

OP posts:
sheeplikessleep · 27/12/2023 22:22

Puppalicious · 27/12/2023 22:20

If your mum prioritises her dog over her grandchildren, that is her loss. Just go low contact.

This.

It’s hurtful though when it’s your own mum and your children.

Gymmum82 · 27/12/2023 22:22

Your mum just sounds a bit stupid. The dog was acting aggressively. You tried to remove it. What did your mum do? Why wouldn’t she try and remove the dog? It’s her baby. She adores it. Had it bitten your child it would have been put down. Killed because of her stupidity.
The most sensible thing was to remove the dog from the situation and instead your mum lost the plot over it. It’s like she’s looking for her pets to be euthanised

Achoo2 · 27/12/2023 22:21

I've worked with rescues both in the UK and from Spain/Greece. Whilst it is very admirable that she is given these dogs a chance at a better life, they are often very different to dogs born/bred/rescued in the UK, and as a pp has said - you can never know their triggers. I find two things concerning-1) the dogs are clearly showing discomfort around children - evidenced twice by yourself and your sister and 2) them being referred to as 'babies'. Babying dogs is SO wrong and shows a clear lack of understanding and is often the cause of, extremely negative canine behaviour. Dogs need a leader and clear boundaries. Your mum needs to try and educate herself on this and imho both you and your sister should not visit unless your mother is aware you are coming, and is prepared to teach them to be separated whilst you are there. If she cannot or will not do this, I see this as an accident waiting to happen. Please protect your children.

Puppalicious · 27/12/2023 22:20

If your mum prioritises her dog over her grandchildren, that is her loss. Just go low contact.

Original poster
Angrymum198 · 27/12/2023 22:20

@Hoglet70 you might not like kids but they are her own grandchildren!!!

Also@Mrsttcno1 I’m fully aware that Romanian rescues can be nervous have anxiety, having owned one in the past. One is nervous and does tend to take him self away. But this one particular dog would be more than comfortable being separated from my mother.

They have cameras and when left he sleeps the entire time. He has no signs of anxiety. He just owns the home. He dislikes anyone sitting on his sofa.

I won’t be going round there again. But I feel it’s rather sad that it’s no longer an option because of them being priority over her own grandchildren.
My dad does not feel this way and it is different when he’s around.

OP posts:
sheeplikessleep · 27/12/2023 22:20

Some people are bonkers crazy over their dogs. We’ve missed out on going to our in-laws this Christmas as I asked to meet up out of my SILs home as I’m not comfortable with their adult German Shepherd mouthing us and my DSs and not being able to stop him. My SIL now refuses to speak to me, is angry that I don’t like their dog and has taken it so personally. It is utterly sad and crazy. Just because people love their pets (I get that), not every one of their friends and family have to.

wizzywig · 27/12/2023 22:19

Just have fun without her with your other family members. If she feels like she is missing out, well that's her issue

tillyandmilly · 27/12/2023 22:16

You sound lovely!

tillyandmilly · 27/12/2023 22:16

You should never leave your dog 9/10 hours! That’s just cruel -

Cheesestring67 · 27/12/2023 22:14

They are her own Grandchildren. Mind boggles. I'm not an animal lover and despise dogs, you get looked at like you've 2 heads when I say this.

WhatsTheUseOfWorrying · 27/12/2023 22:13

Unfortunately there’s no end in sight for this dog madness.

kitsuneghost · 27/12/2023 22:13

I think @flowerchild2000 is being a tad sarcastic

Hoglet70 · 27/12/2023 22:12

Cheesestring67 · 27/12/2023 22:12

They are just dogs. Not babies. Grandchildren should come 1st 100%

Why?? We don't all like kids.

Cheesestring67 · 27/12/2023 22:12

This 100!!% agreed.

Cheesestring67 · 27/12/2023 22:12

They are just dogs. Not babies. Grandchildren should come 1st 100%

usernother · 27/12/2023 22:11

kitsuneghost · 27/12/2023 22:10

I would just go no contact.
Don't go round, don't meet up if dogs are present. She has made her choice.

I agree with this OP.

Thistlewoman · 27/12/2023 22:11

My dog is more important to me than your child. Just deal with it. That said I would never put my dog NOR your child in a situation where either could be upset/distressed or hurt by the other. Thats what responsible parenting/dog ownership is all about-not expecting everyone else to accept YOUR priorities and accommodate your needs above others.

kitsuneghost · 27/12/2023 22:10

I would just go no contact.
Don't go round, don't meet up if dogs are present. She has made her choice.

Original poster
Angrymum198 · 27/12/2023 22:10

My mum cho

OP posts:
flowerchild2000 · 27/12/2023 22:08

usernother · 27/12/2023 21:46

Dogs are nothing like children.

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In the eyes of a dog owner like this, they are.

Mrsttcno1 · 27/12/2023 22:07

Angrymum198 · 27/12/2023 22:03

@Mrsttcno1 these dogs are Romanian rescues, they were rescued from a puppy they don’t have separation anxiety. It wouldn’t have caused distress to them.

Romanian Rescues are actually known to be quite nervous, the way they are transported and the way they are treated when tiny pups mean they miss out on the crucial socialisation window which can make them very anxious and fearful dogs. Also, you said in your first post that you mum can’t be out of the house for more than an hour, so they obviously do have some degree of separation anxiety.

If people being in the house causes distress to them, which you’ve said it does, then so does being removed and locked into a space for that time.

Hoglet70 · 27/12/2023 22:05

Angrymum198 · 27/12/2023 22:03

@Mrsttcno1 these dogs are Romanian rescues, they were rescued from a puppy they don’t have separation anxiety. It wouldn’t have caused distress to them.

I know of Romanian rescues who have been massively traumatised by the journey over despite anything else. You have no idea what anyone did to them before they got here.

Original poster
Angrymum198 · 27/12/2023 22:03

@Mrsttcno1 these dogs are Romanian rescues, they were rescued from a puppy they don’t have separation anxiety. It wouldn’t have caused distress to them.

OP posts:
Beachwalker66 · 27/12/2023 22:02

Angrymum198 · 27/12/2023 21:59

Also just to add, I have fully excepted that these dogs are her babies. That I understand. What I do not understand is her putting her grandchild safety over a minor inconvenience for her dog.

But OP, you are the one who chose to put your child in that position. You know you aren’t welcome and why.

You are making yourself sound like a boundary busting nightmare.

Just leave your mum to run her life as she sees fit, and stop pushing into the space reserved for her and her dogs.

Mrsttcno1 · 27/12/2023 22:00

Elfon · 27/12/2023 21:56

They treat the dog like a baby but that doesn’t make the dog a baby. Nobody else needs to consider the dog as being equal to a human child. Dogs are never more important than people.

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That’s your opinion ☺️

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