Mother priorities her dogs over everything.

I can't believe that people don't understand how it is hurtful that your mum prefers her dogs to her own children and grandkids. I think you should go low contact and I certainly wouldn't have your DH doing her any jobs/favours.

If the dogs can only be left for a short time, it sounds as though they would be difficult.

This post is a massive reflection on why every other day some poor person is mauled by a dog. Dogs are not babies dogs have to understand they are last in the pecking order as far as humans are concerned. Removing a dog who is in a situation who is resource guarding is absolutely the right thing to do. Otherwise you are reinforcing that behaviour by allowing it to continue.
Cannot believe on a mumsnet forum people are actually agreeing with the mum. Who would quite happily risk her one year old grandchild face so her dog could have a reset and change focus from the thing it was clearly resource guarding. You absolutely did the right thing and what's more I would tell your mum how disappointed you are in her behaviour and recommend a dog behaviourist. She might be lonely because her kids have flown the nest but she's going to be so much lonelier when her dog bites some poor kid and is then PTS. We have normalised this babying of dogs and sadly this does them no favours. What other animal puts another species before it's young?

No I wouldn’t risk a rescue dog growling next to my one year old, but I wouldn’t be going over to somebody else’s dog in somebody else’s home and trying to remove THEM from the situation. I’d pick my one year old up and remove myself & them. That’s the obvious and sensible option. You’re in someone else’s home with someone else’s animals, it is not your place to try and control their pets or their environment, all you can do is control yourself and your children in a situation. You weren’t happy with it, so the obvious thing to do within your control is to remove the one year old from the perceived risk.

Also, again, if the one year old was in the house, when your mum has repeatedly said that her dogs struggle with guests, then yes they were in the dogs space.

100%.

So many people seem to see a dog growling/barking/being vocal as extremely aggressive, when actually this is the kind of behaviour you want to see really. This is a dog saying “I don’t like this, stop”. They can’t communicate in the same way humans can so they have to do it their own way, and as humans so often these growls are misread as horrific when it’s a completely healthy behaviour and no different to me saying to you “you are coming in to my personal space and I don’t like it, back off”.

I’m sorry but being someone who has had dogs for all of my forty eight years, when did it become a thing that you cannot leave your dog at all? Contented dogs sleep a huge amount and I know mine curl up and snooze when I’m out. Never leaving a dog is somewhat extreme behaviour, how does anyone do anything?

So you aren’t being unreasonable in my mind but she’s very different to me. Shame for your children they can’t have longer with her.

I’ve worked with rescue dogs with complex issues and triggers. They don’t mix with house guests. They stay in a separate area of the house designated for them to feel safe and secure, far away from guests. To reach this point there needs to be proper training. It sounds like your mum is clueless but sadly, it also sounds like she doesn’t really care.

Yes she’s made her choice. An idiotic one, in my view, but I’m not a dog obsessive. Dogs are pets, they are not children or “like her children”. Don’t take your DC there again, she can’t be trusted to have trained those dogs properly. I would feel very sad about the choices she is making, but they are hers, and she should bear the downsides of them in the form of not getting to see her grandchildren.

A dog growling isn't the same as a dog attacking, its telling you that they don't like something.

The rational thing to do would have been to pick the child up and remove them from the situation, and prevent them running around near the dog.

Ultimately its your mother's home, and entirely her prerogative whether to prioritise her dogs. Meet her elsewhere.

I don't like kids but I love Mumsnet drama lol.

I do sort of get this. Your mother has a life now that is pretty lonely and empty. Her life once revolved around her children but they have gone now, to lead their own lives. Your mum has created a new life with purpose, around her replacement family, her dogs. They are there for her 24/7, her actual family have busy lives and are no longer her focus.

I would have taken the child well away from the dog. it's either or.

I know and they stink too.

I don’t think you are fully aware though, because it sounds as though you are very rarely in the presence of these dogs due to the fact that in your own words you are “not welcome”, so you are certainly not around them enough to know of their needs, anxieties, behaviours etc. Your mum is, and rightly or wrongly it’s her house, her dogs, and her choices to make. You can disagree with them and be disappointed, but it is ultimately up to her.

Also, “dislikes anyone sitting on his sofa” is a classic sign of resource guarding and if I had to guess that’s exactly why the dog was growling/barking. Again- very common in rescues and other dogs in general. They see their home/bed/sofa/owner/rug etc as “theirs”, and they do not want any outsiders going anywhere near it. So everything your mum is doing does make sense, she has 2 rescues who don’t cope well with guests in the house. The solution she has chosen to that is to have no visitors, that is her right although you can love it or hate it, it doesn’t change it.

It is a shame for you, but I have to say I can sort of see why your mum got her back up about you moving the dog. You came to her home uninvited with your child and then when you saw an issue you chose to try and remove her dog- who’s home it is- rather than pick your child up and take them out of the situation. She has made her choices re the dogs and you won’t be able to change her mind so maybe it is time to think of an alternative. Meeting somewhere neutral for example

We don’t. But I wouldn’t take a chance if my own dog was growling at someone. Why would you? If that dog bites it’s as sure as dead. I wouldn’t take the risk

It is hurtful op but she has clearly made her choice and it's in the dogs favour.
I wouldn't darken her doorstep again if she wasn't concerned about the growling at a 1yr old.
Leave her to her dogs and if she kicks off about no contact then remind her of what she has chosen to prioritise.

We don't know the dog was anywhere near hurting the child. The OP sounds a bit anti dogs (obvs I am anti children and my opinion cannot be trusted lol).

OP, she is choosing this. Let her crack on and see how much help her dogs are when she’s old.

Just ignore her and concentrate on your dc.

How are your in laws, are they good grandparents to dc?

@Angrymum198 There's no law that says you have to like your grandchildren!

I think that is ridiculous she prioritises her dogs above all else. Alienating relatives means if she needs support as she ages she won't have it. Dogs fulfil companionship for her but they can't do her shopping when she is ill and not seeing her grandchildren as they grow up makes no sense to me but each to their own. I also don't think it is good for dogs not to get used to people other than their owners. My DDs border collie is wonderful around children and very flexible over when she is fed so able to be left for a fair few hours.

Going forward maybe just meet at yours or somewhere near hers if her dogs are not good around children. She might not change though so adjust your expectations of her. It must be difficult.