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AIBU?

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Original poster

To casually mention to my neighbour about his coughing

242 replies

Coughing79 · 24/12/2023 21:33

A new neighbour has recently moved into the flat below me. He's about 35. I've noticed that he literally coughs every few mins and unfortunately I can hear it. I was hoping it would be a cold or flu thing he has and that it would eventually stop but it's been like this for a couple weeks.
I will be reading quietly in my bedroom and all of a sudden get startled by his coughing. I'm finding it really triggering and it's irritating me .
It's a really awkward one as coughing is involuntary but that doesn't make it any less annoying for me.
I can't move as I have another year left on my lease. I've bought noise cancelling ear plugs from Amazon.
Would it be really bad if next time I get talking to him ,I asked if he is ok, as I notice he has been coughing quite a lot? Hoping that this will maybe make him try and be a bit quieter or something.
Or do I just learn to live with this.

OP posts:
liquoricetorpedoes · 24/12/2023 21:54

My Mum has lung disease and coughs very loudly, very frequently. She can’t help it and couldn’t muffle the sound as she’s struggling to get enough air in as it is because half of her lungs are clogged. He may have something similar or something like CF.
You would be very unreasonable to complain.

ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 24/12/2023 21:54

YABU. I assure you he is far more annoyed by it than you are. Just be grateful you're not the one coughing all the time. A really bad cough can have you struggling to breathe and that can feel quite scary.

happyinherts · 24/12/2023 21:54

'He could cough into something to muffle the sound.' Really? Spasms of coughing are involuntary, and can easily become choking sounds. I know - like I said, I had it, and it was dreadful trying to catch my breath.

Why should he have to muffle the sound in his own property. You're being incredibly rude and entitled. Yes, it may be annoying, but he isn't doing it on purpose, you know.

sadeyedladyofthelowlandsea · 24/12/2023 21:54

Another one with cough variant asthma. I can assure you that I love coughing to the point that I sound like I have whooping cough & frequently end up vomiting because of it.
What would you suggest I do when I'm struggling to breathe?

givemethetea · 24/12/2023 21:54

Businessflake · 24/12/2023 21:52

I'm finding it really triggering

Good god I’ve heard it all now.

I'm glad you said it, I would love to know how

Original poster
Coughing79 · 24/12/2023 21:52

@AnotherAdventFridge yes I have carpet

OP posts:
CharlotteStreetW1 · 24/12/2023 21:52

I'm on day 90 of the "100 day" cough.

Seriously, I've been coughing for bloody weeks. I've been on antibiotics which has made it better but sometimes it seems never-ending. I feel bad enough as it is and would be mortified if a neighbour mentioned it so please don't.

Businessflake · 24/12/2023 21:52

I'm finding it really triggering

Good god I’ve heard it all now.

Ffs22 · 24/12/2023 21:51

Maybe he had copd or worse. Of all the things to complain about(about noise from neighbours), this is not one of them.

FixItUpChappie · 24/12/2023 21:51

Would it be still unreasonable to mention it to him in a few months?

Yes, it would.

AnotherAdventFridge · 24/12/2023 21:51

Do you have carpet in your flat?

Blinky21 · 24/12/2023 21:51

2 weeks is nothing for a cough, my last one was 10 weeks after a chest infection

scoutingfor · 24/12/2023 21:50

Coughing79 · 24/12/2023 21:48

You can cough into things surely to muffle the sound

Ohh, you are serious about speaking to him to get him to make less noise Blush

Don't.

Notsurehwhattdo · 24/12/2023 21:50

TheYearOfSmallThings · 24/12/2023 21:43

He does not cough for his own amusement.

I don't know, could be a different version of liking the sound of their own voice 🤣

Neitheronethingnortheother · 24/12/2023 21:49

Coughing79 · 24/12/2023 21:46

@CyberCritical I already mentioned on one of the above posts what I would like him to try and do about it

I have cough variant asthma

If you expected me to cough more quietly when I am trying to find my inhaler and struggling to breath I would think you were nuts

So in answer to your OP yes you learn to live with the sound of other people in the world coughing

Evenstar · 24/12/2023 21:48

I think you really shouldn’t mention it ever, I am asthmatic and luckily we are in a detached house now, but the cold I started with 4 weeks ago has caused me to cough a lot especially at night. I am sure neighbours heard me in other houses I lived in.

The poor man can’t help it.

Notsurehwhattdo · 24/12/2023 21:48

Oh god that sounds annoying. Maybe it's a tick or something.

Maybe you could mention it and suggest he could cough into a piece of foam or something (bring the foam with you) 🤣

Original poster
Coughing79 · 24/12/2023 21:48

You can cough into things surely to muffle the sound

OP posts:
scoutingfor · 24/12/2023 21:47

What would be the point in asking him about it? You are bothered by the noise of it but he can't stop coughing Confused

Neitheronethingnortheother · 24/12/2023 21:47

TheYearOfSmallThings · 24/12/2023 21:43

He does not cough for his own amusement.

😂😂

Oblahdeeoblahdoe · 24/12/2023 21:47

This reminds me of our headteacher telling children to stop coughing in assembly - set the whole school off! The staff cracked up laughing. Anyway, your neighbour can't help coughing so no point in saying anything to him.

FloofCloud · 24/12/2023 21:46

It might be a tic - my DS has a coughing tic. DD has Tourette syndrome ... it may be complex and a bit shite to grumble ... so be nice

Sodapop1 · 24/12/2023 21:46

Agree what do you expect him to do about it! You can’t ask someone to cough quieter. In this scenario I think it’s you that would have to move if it bothered you that much

Original poster
Coughing79 · 24/12/2023 21:46

@CyberCritical I already mentioned on one of the above posts what I would like him to try and do about it

OP posts:
CyberCritical · 24/12/2023 21:45

Coughing79 · 24/12/2023 21:44

@Sodapop1 yes I'm really hoping he has a nasty bug that he has as the cough is literally every few minutes. However what if it isn't and he's still coughing in March. Would it be still unreasonable to mention it to him in a few months?

Again, what are you expecting him to do about it if you do mention it?