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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To feel like I want to go home, even though I'm already at home?

108 replies

WantToGoHomee · 21/12/2023 12:22

I'm in my 20s still living with parents, with all of my siblings and my family dog. I'm at home, the same home that I've lived in my entire life. Yet I find myself saying to myself 'I want to go home' even when I'm sitting at home. Does anyone else experience this? There's this sad, mournful longing for 'home', but I'm already at home?

OP posts:

MuchTooTired · 21/12/2023 21:23

I do this. Generally when I’m overwhelmed and/or in a state of great emotional upset, I just repeat ‘I want to go home’ to myself, even if I’m at home. For me, it’s a wish to return to a place of calm and happiness, where I feel loved and secure and nothing can get me. The person I yearn for is my auntie, but she’s died so I can never go back there.

It’s a weird feeling.

passiveaggressivenonsense · 21/12/2023 21:19

Ive felt this but it's a feeling if homesickness for a life beyond this life, that I knew before I was born and that I'll return to after I die. I'm not religious and don't necessarily believe in an afterlife, but I've always had this sense of wanting to return to my true home in another life.

ssd · 21/12/2023 21:18

I feel this way too

Tandora · 21/12/2023 21:09

Picklewicklepickle · 21/12/2023 16:19

My 3 year old says this sometimes when she gets upset, even when we are at home, I think it’s a comfort thing.

Mine too. I’m so glad I’m not the only one! 🥺.

This thread has been so enlightening

Butchyrestingface · 21/12/2023 21:09

Roseyposeypie · 21/12/2023 12:33

I often have this feeling too. The Welsh actually have a word for it - hiraeth - https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hiraeth

I was going to say this but someone beat me to it. 😂

Tandora · 21/12/2023 21:07

Oh my gosh my toddler says this sometimes and it confuses / upsets me so much as I don’t understand it. What does it mean?

HamBone · 21/12/2023 21:05

Given how young you are, @WantToGoHomee , could it be an indication that you want to make some changes in your life? You still have your original family/home and you’re not old enough for regrets like we older ones!

Perhaps have a think about what you’d like to do next year.

Bigcoatweather · 21/12/2023 20:45

I sometimes feel this, but I think it’s more a yearning to go home to the life I wish I’d created, if that makes sense - it might not as it’s hard to describe.
Not that I have any big regrets, just I would have perhaps loved to have lived in a different time or in a different way. A simpler life.

Whatsmynameagainhuh · 21/12/2023 20:31

Yes!! I get this feeling a few times a year - a sudden feeling of homesickness even though I'm already at home.

I sometimes wonder if the home I want to be at is my childhood home (which I visit 2-3 times a week anyway) or if its just a feeling of unease.

But I'm glad some people feel the same!

givemethetea · 21/12/2023 20:27

I used to feel this a child, then when I got in to my twenties and still felt it I realised what I was actually feeling was anxiety

Sugarfish · 21/12/2023 20:25

I think this sometimes if I’m feeling a bit tired and anxious. I think it’s more of a longing to want to go back to a time when you were looked after, like back to your childhood, a sort of comfort thing.

Margaritasandmojitos · 21/12/2023 20:24

I feel like this too sometimes. I want my husband back. I want my parents back. I want someone to hold me and comfort me and say everything will be ok. I want to go home.

crazycatladie · 21/12/2023 20:01

I feel like this if I'm stressed, I think it's when I wish I was a child living at home with no responsibilities.

Cheeseplantalltheway · 21/12/2023 19:51

I experienced this throughout my childhood. Was usually when I didn't feel loved.

MissyB1 · 21/12/2023 18:57

WingsofRain · 21/12/2023 18:17

I’m nearly 60 and I’ve felt like this all my life. I hope that one day I’ll eventually feel at home somewhere.

Yes I’m 55 and it’s always been the same for me. I’ve often wondered if it was to do with my birth, I was an unwanted pregnancy and my mum had PND, there were definitely attachment issues.

itsastrangetime · 21/12/2023 18:48

The theologian C.S Lewis (author of the Narnia books) once said 'If we find ourselves with a desire that nothing in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that we were made for another world.'

Maybe it's something spiritual you're craving, OP?

Mummyratbag · 21/12/2023 18:34

We recently went on holiday and as a last minute decision, went to somewhere we had never really thought about before. It was very different to anywhere I'd been and we have travelled a fair bit. I find myself checking the weather there now and webcams and feel a strange longing. I think it's down to having had a stressful year and the holiday was a good break/distraction.

flowerchild2000 · 21/12/2023 18:23

Yes, but for me being a long time single mother, it's longing for the days it wasn't my responsibility to provide stability. It's also the need to return to a place where I can relax and be creative and spend most of my time reading. I'm actively changing my life around so I can focus on my creativity. If my inner child is languishing my outer adult person will too. For you it could be wanting your own home, or a longing for something from childhood. There's nothing wrong with responding to your inner child. Figure out what it is you want from that 'home' and get it for yourself :)

Goatymum · 21/12/2023 18:17

My DD says this when I’ll/v stressed. Was more when she was younger, but says she feels it still sometimes.

WingsofRain · 21/12/2023 18:17

I’m nearly 60 and I’ve felt like this all my life. I hope that one day I’ll eventually feel at home somewhere.

Terfenheimerama · 21/12/2023 18:15

Some people say death is like going home for the holidays.

Original poster

WantToGoHomee · 21/12/2023 18:03

I don't think that it's related to wanting my own home, it's not even really about the house itself, just a feeling. I remember thinking and saying the same thing as a child.

OP posts:

KimberleyClark · 21/12/2023 16:25

Roseyposeypie · 21/12/2023 12:33

I often have this feeling too. The Welsh actually have a word for it - hiraeth - https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hiraeth

Hiraeth is usually a longing for something specific though - a person you have lost, a place you used to live, a time in your past. I am not sure you can have non specific hiraeth.

Picklewicklepickle · 21/12/2023 16:19

My 3 year old says this sometimes when she gets upset, even when we are at home, I think it’s a comfort thing.

Sirian · 21/12/2023 16:08

The Portuguese call it “saudade”. It’s a melancholic longing for another time or place or person, a feeling of homesickness. I get it a lot. I want to go back to my childhood home - but I can never go back, because not only is it not the same, I’m not the same person.

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