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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not let my 13 DS sleep over at his girlfriend's house?

160 replies

user1496146479 · 19/12/2023 17:43

Help me out! I think I'm losing the plot!
My DS13 wants to sleep over at his girlfriend of about 5 weeks (not sure that matters) house!
Apparently her parents are fine with it, and she has had boys sleep over before!
I've said no.... he is kicking off, I don't think IABU..... I have suggested collecting him late if they want to watch a movie etc.
For info, I have only met the girlfriend's dad once briefly when I collected her for a disco, and have only met the girl for the duration of that car journey!

OP posts:
Orangeandgold · 19/12/2023 19:50

Don’t let him do it ….

GreenIsMyFavoriteColour · 19/12/2023 19:42

user1496146479 · 19/12/2023 19:34

@GreenIsMyFavoriteColour
I'm not even sure I know then enough to trust that sort of arrangement!

In which case has there been any reliable confirmation that a) This invitation is real b) Loads of other boys have stayed over before?

Seems unlikely to me unless there's some missing information.

StasisMom · 19/12/2023 19:42

It's a no from me! And yes, what are those imminent grandparents thinking?!!

hangingonfordearlife1 · 19/12/2023 19:41

not a chance and wouldn't want him being around a girl who's parents let sleep with boys at 13

Bertiesmum3 · 19/12/2023 19:40

Rosiiee · 19/12/2023 18:08

@Bertiesmum3 i mean I can see where you’re coming from and maybe it’s unfair of us to automatically think sex. Buttttt the girl has had previous boyfriends who have spent the night apparently soooo that’s why I’m thinking there’s an agenda here.

I’ve just seen a reply stating that she’s not even 13 yet, hopefully her parents are being very careful when letting boyfriends stay over if it’s true, the boy could just be saying it so his parents let him stay.
Very strange for parents to allow boys to stay over when their daughter is so young

GreenIsMyFavoriteColour · 19/12/2023 19:38

Goodlard · 19/12/2023 19:36

@GreenIsMyFavoriteColour that's as many be, however the OP does not want her 13 year old to stay there, so end of conversation!

She literally started a conversation about it with this thread.

Goodlard · 19/12/2023 19:36

@GreenIsMyFavoriteColour that's as many be, however the OP does not want her 13 year old to stay there, so end of conversation!

cardibach · 19/12/2023 19:34

I've told him that I wouldn't be comfortable with him staying over a boys house with parents we didn't know either at his age!
Why ever not? This is a bit odd. He’s 13 not 3. I can understand reservations about a girl’s house, but a boy’s?

Original poster
user1496146479 · 19/12/2023 19:34

@GreenIsMyFavoriteColour
I'm not even sure I know then enough to trust that sort of arrangement!

OP posts:
marleymoo12 · 19/12/2023 19:33

He can kick off all he wants I wouldn't let him! 13 no chance!

GreenIsMyFavoriteColour · 19/12/2023 19:33

Ibex22 · 19/12/2023 19:07

Assuming her parents have agreed to this and the many others before your son, what does that say about them exactly?!

It might say they have a separate Granny Flat with very good locks.

GreenIsMyFavoriteColour · 19/12/2023 19:29

cardibach · 19/12/2023 17:50

This. There are lots of reasons why this might be ok.
Do you live very rurally?
How many other people live in the house?
Where would he sleep and how likely is it that he’ll have to stay there?

Show quote history

Agree. Unless this girl's parents are utterly insane there's a cast iron plan in place to stop them shagging.

I'd talk to the parents and see what they have in mind before rejecting the idea. If they say "We're going to leave them unsupervised because we're charitably pimping our daughter out to your son." then it's a no.

Hankunamatata · 19/12/2023 19:27

Hell no

FedUpMumof10YO · 19/12/2023 19:26

Absofucking not. Nope. No way.

Goodlard · 19/12/2023 19:15

Oh course it's ok, I mean what could possibly go wrong with that ............... 😧!

🤰 👶

maddiemookins16mum · 19/12/2023 19:11

No way, he can dream on. Teenage sleepovers, nope.

Do remember to remind him of this incident in 30 years when he may possibly have his own teens 🤣🤣

Christmasbrie · 19/12/2023 19:10

Apparently she is annoyed with him

Yikes, even more reason to say absolutely not!

Ibex22 · 19/12/2023 19:07

Assuming her parents have agreed to this and the many others before your son, what does that say about them exactly?!

Ohhelpicantthinkofaname · 19/12/2023 18:43

Nope, no way, not a chance. Dd2 is nearly 16 and canvassing for her boyfriend of 18 months to stay over after Christmas. Im sticking with my original not until after GCSEs rule. She thinks I’m being I reasonable, but tough. At 13, absolutely not!

CagneyAndLazy · 19/12/2023 18:35

WTF?

Why do you even need to ask if YABU?!

Is this a reverse and you're the hopeful 13yo lad?

😂

MintJulia · 19/12/2023 18:27

Nope, not a chance.

Regardless of what they do, it's not responsible to put either of them in that situation. She's 12 for God's sake.

Mirrormeback · 19/12/2023 18:27

13 bloody hell definitely no

Those girls parents are insane

Thinkero · 19/12/2023 18:16

If they were both 16 it would be different. 13 absolutely not no way.

BubblesGalore81 · 19/12/2023 18:13

13? Absolutely no way!!

Original poster
user1496146479 · 19/12/2023 18:11

MrsJPinkman · 19/12/2023 17:50

Kicking off? He needs reigning in. He's 13, not 23, ffs! 🤦🏻‍♀️

By kicking off, I mean, moaning, we are ruining his life etc, typical teenage stuff, as yes he is 13. He's not smashing up the house or cursing at me.

OP posts: