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AIBU?

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Original poster

To not let my 13 DS sleep over at his girlfriend's house?

160 replies

user1496146479 · 19/12/2023 17:43

Help me out! I think I'm losing the plot!
My DS13 wants to sleep over at his girlfriend of about 5 weeks (not sure that matters) house!
Apparently her parents are fine with it, and she has had boys sleep over before!
I've said no.... he is kicking off, I don't think IABU..... I have suggested collecting him late if they want to watch a movie etc.
For info, I have only met the girlfriend's dad once briefly when I collected her for a disco, and have only met the girl for the duration of that car journey!

OP posts:
mathanxiety · 19/12/2023 22:06

Benibidibici · 19/12/2023 18:02

Yabvu indulging 13 year olds talking about "girlfriends". Ridiculous over sexualising of young teenagers.

This ^

Original poster
user1496146479 · 19/12/2023 21:46

@Umtydumpy
Enjoy the lack of interest in girls while you can! Puberty has hit very hard in our house!

OP posts:
Original poster
user1496146479 · 19/12/2023 21:45

Umtydumpy · 19/12/2023 21:20

Got to be a wind up? My ds isn't interested in girls yet thankfully, but if he wanted a sleepover at that age with his girlfriend of 5 weeks, it would be a massive no way.

Not a wind up! You'll see I've already said no!
Have the thread as a sounding board, in case I'm a dinosaur living in the past!
Clearly I'm not!

OP posts:
Fionaville · 19/12/2023 21:23

I'm pretty chilled over this issue normally, but at 13, in this situation, no way in a million years!!

theduchessofspork · 19/12/2023 21:21

Haha no. 13 is too young for a girlfriend in any meaningful sense.

Umtydumpy · 19/12/2023 21:20

Got to be a wind up? My ds isn't interested in girls yet thankfully, but if he wanted a sleepover at that age with his girlfriend of 5 weeks, it would be a massive no way.

jadey1991 · 19/12/2023 21:20

Erm I would be saying no too.

Cas112 · 19/12/2023 21:18

Definitely not😂

SlightlygrumpyBettyswaitress · 19/12/2023 21:05

Yanbu. He is 13.

Meggie2008 · 19/12/2023 21:04

Id love to say absolutely not, but I stayed at my "boyfriends" house when I was that age. Really through, he was obviously more like just my best mate, he slept on a camp bed in his brother's room and I was given his room, and our parents knew each other so not entirely the same

givenupcaring92 · 19/12/2023 20:46

RaininSummer · 19/12/2023 20:04

13 definitely not. Surprised 13 year olds even have girlfriends or boyfriends.

Im afraid this is now a sad reality.... i am a great great aunt (i think i've got that right? my sisters, daughters daughter has a baby?) to a little girl born to a 13 year old mother!! I was shocked at this news, but all parties were delighted and said that XXX would make an amazing mum at 13!!!

givenupcaring92 · 19/12/2023 20:41

yeah.. its a no from me too

BUT...

If they are and want to get up to naughties they will be doing it irrespective of where. might be time to make sure 'the talk' has been had

GreyGoose1980 · 19/12/2023 20:27

Definitely not OP. 13 is way too young for that. At 16 I’d be okay with it if they’d been together longer as they would then be over the age of consent and you can’t stop them forever but 13 - no way!

DidiAskYouThough · 19/12/2023 20:20

Superduper02 · 19/12/2023 20:09

She's had boys stay over before? 🫣 At 13!!?!?! Actually a bit gross her parents are enabling their CHILD to be in this situation.

Nope, the child is 12.
The mind boggles.

Superduper02 · 19/12/2023 20:09

She's had boys stay over before? 🫣 At 13!!?!?! Actually a bit gross her parents are enabling their CHILD to be in this situation.

Stayupallnight · 19/12/2023 20:06

perhaps I’m very old fashioned but I think parents who have let their daughter, at age 13, have multiple boyfriends sleep over at their house is some form of abuse. Must be terribly damaging for her self worth and self esteem, it’s atrocious parenting IMO. How do they know the kids involved even want to be sexually active? At 13 I would not have wanted to but if set up in that situation I wouldn’t have felt able to say no, especially if my own parents were encouraging it.
Same goes for a 13 year old boy, they might be hormonal and curious but not actually feel ready for it. How do they say no if it’s all set up for them like that? really disturbing.

ModestMoon · 19/12/2023 20:06

I'd be amazed if this invitation was real and approved by parents. She's twelve!

RaininSummer · 19/12/2023 20:04

13 definitely not. Surprised 13 year olds even have girlfriends or boyfriends.

Original poster
user1496146479 · 19/12/2023 19:57

@GreenIsMyFavoriteColour
This could be the case.
I don't know them to know if it is something they would allow!

OP posts:
Hippomumma · 19/12/2023 19:56

He’s 13. Why is this even a question?

GreenIsMyFavoriteColour · 19/12/2023 19:56

user1496146479 · 19/12/2023 19:50

@GreenIsMyFavoriteColour
Only going by the Snapchat message he showed me!
Like I said, I don't know the girl or the parents

Snapchat from the girl?

Bet the parents are oblivious and she's just saying it to make herself look grown up.

terraced · 19/12/2023 19:56

It would be a no from me. My 15 year old has been with his girlfriend for months and I've said no to sleepovers.

Original poster
user1496146479 · 19/12/2023 19:55

@Lubilu02 this is how I feel.
Just checking my logic is all!
Thanks

OP posts:
Lubilu02 · 19/12/2023 19:51

You'd be setting him up to fail IMO, and who knows of the things he could be accused of.

You're his mother, it's your job to protect him and steer him in the right direction in life.

He can kick off all he likes, it's for his own good at the end of the day, so you needn't feel bad or guilty at all!

Original poster
user1496146479 · 19/12/2023 19:50

@GreenIsMyFavoriteColour
Only going by the Snapchat message he showed me!
Like I said, I don't know the girl or the parents

OP posts: