To not let my 13 DS sleep over at his girlfriend's house?

user1496146479 · 2023-12-19T17:43:08+00:00

Help me out! I think I'm losing the plot! My DS13 wants to sleep over at his girlfriend of about 5 weeks (not sure that matters) house! Apparently her parents are fine with it, and she has had boys sleep over before! I've said no.... he is kicking off, I don't think IABU..... I have suggested collecting him late if they want to watch a movie etc. For info, I have only met the girlfriend's dad once briefly when I collected her for a disco, and have only met the girl for the duration of that car journey!

Buddhalover · 29/01/2025 05:04

spottedinthewilds · 29/01/2025 00:05

Gah! I've just wasted 30 mins of my life reading a thread that is over a year old!! 😆

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Oops 😬 late night 🌙 😃

SillyDoriswithaDangler · 29/01/2025 02:27

17 is the age we allowed this. At 13? No way in hell!

anon4net · 29/01/2025 02:11

Absolutely not. Ludicrous to consider it.

Her parents are mad for allowing this.

suburberphobe · 29/01/2025 01:28

Nope!

TempestTost · 29/01/2025 01:25

Ar, zombie thread

spottedinthewilds · 29/01/2025 00:05

Buddhalover · 28/01/2025 23:39

Err, not likely, asking for trouble!

Gah! I've just wasted 30 mins of my life reading a thread that is over a year old!! 😆

Buddhalover · 28/01/2025 23:39

Err, not likely, asking for trouble!

Original poster

user1496146479 · 07/01/2024 22:21

retinolalcohol · 07/01/2024 21:13

I had plenty of sleepovers with male family friends from about 14 (always different rooms).
I got my first boyfriend when I was 17 - plenty sleepovers then as well, in the same bed.
Didn't have sex until I was 19.

Meanwhile my best mate couldn't have boys round at all until she was 16, and even then the door had to be open. Case of closing the stable door after the horse has already bolted on her mums part - she had already lost her virginity at 14 in a park, after school, when her mum thought she was staying after school for choir!

OP if you disagree with the sleepovers it's fine - he will get over it but id still have the safe sex talk (if you haven't already) because preventing sleepovers really won't stop them if they're determined to do it. Equally they may not be interested, especially the girl. I wasn't one bit

Yes we have had the safe sex talk etc a while back, and a refresh just before Christmas!

OP posts:

RunningJo · 07/01/2024 22:05

Absolutely not a chance in hell. You’re right to say no

MumPod · 07/01/2024 21:49

Simple answer no!

Daisybuttercup12345 · 07/01/2024 21:39

Certainly not!

retinolalcohol · 07/01/2024 21:13

I had plenty of sleepovers with male family friends from about 14 (always different rooms).
I got my first boyfriend when I was 17 - plenty sleepovers then as well, in the same bed.
Didn't have sex until I was 19.

Meanwhile my best mate couldn't have boys round at all until she was 16, and even then the door had to be open. Case of closing the stable door after the horse has already bolted on her mums part - she had already lost her virginity at 14 in a park, after school, when her mum thought she was staying after school for choir!

OP if you disagree with the sleepovers it's fine - he will get over it but id still have the safe sex talk (if you haven't already) because preventing sleepovers really won't stop them if they're determined to do it. Equally they may not be interested, especially the girl. I wasn't one bit

AllIsWellish · 07/01/2024 20:43

BobbyBiscuits · 07/01/2024 19:09

If they are ever allowed in a room unsupervised for more than about 10 minutes, they have probably already done the deed. So sleeping at hers or not won't necessarily stop sexual activity. I still think you should refuse. I would have a chat with him about contraception and stuff as well, or ask his Dad to if it's too cringe coming from you. Maybe speak to her parents as well, he could be lying that they are fine with it. You may of course have done that a long time ago but seems like he's either doing it or nearly doing it at this point!

Don't be ridiculous, not all teenagers who are in the same room unsupervised are going to be at it 🙄

BobbyBiscuits · 07/01/2024 19:09

If they are ever allowed in a room unsupervised for more than about 10 minutes, they have probably already done the deed. So sleeping at hers or not won't necessarily stop sexual activity. I still think you should refuse. I would have a chat with him about contraception and stuff as well, or ask his Dad to if it's too cringe coming from you. Maybe speak to her parents as well, he could be lying that they are fine with it. You may of course have done that a long time ago but seems like he's either doing it or nearly doing it at this point!

Original poster

user1496146479 · 07/01/2024 15:08

FlabMonsterIsDietingAgain · 07/01/2024 12:26

It would be a no from me, but being realistic, if her parents are OK with it then it's likely that after school visits to her house may also mean they're having sex, so you definitely need to have the condoms, safe sex, STIs talk.

Luckily we are rural, and they both get different school buses home, so it's unlikely at this stage at least.

OP posts:

Original poster

user1496146479 · 07/01/2024 15:05

MCOut · 07/01/2024 12:05

I die inside every time I read one of these threads. 13? No to the girlfriend, much less a sleepover.

It's easy to say no to the sleepover. I cannot control that he refers to her as his GF.

OP posts:

FlabMonsterIsDietingAgain · 07/01/2024 12:26

It would be a no from me, but being realistic, if her parents are OK with it then it's likely that after school visits to her house may also mean they're having sex, so you definitely need to have the condoms, safe sex, STIs talk.

MCOut · 07/01/2024 12:05

I die inside every time I read one of these threads. 13? No to the girlfriend, much less a sleepover.

Blingismything · 07/01/2024 11:59

No no and no! Not a hope in hell

Original poster

user1496146479 · 07/01/2024 11:59

Don't think a 1 minute hi, would cover it for me

OP posts:

Original poster

user1496146479 · 07/01/2024 11:58

Blondeshavemorefun · 07/01/2024 07:59

So her dad dropped her off to you. Met you. Then collected her later

Surely that the best /first way to meet parents of gf/bf

It's good the dad dropped off so you could meet each other isn't it

I think I'd be okay with that if the context of their friendship wasn't GF/BF.
I have to younger daughters to follow and cannot see me ever just dropping her off at age just turned 13 to a boyfriends house, with at least knowing something about his parents, ground rules for visit etc.

OP posts:

Whitegrenache · 07/01/2024 08:18

Blondeshavemorefun · 07/01/2024 07:59

So her dad dropped her off to you. Met you. Then collected her later

Surely that the best /first way to meet parents of gf/bf

It's good the dad dropped off so you could meet each other isn't it

Totally agree- sounds like the perfect way to meet each other

Blondeshavemorefun · 07/01/2024 07:59

So her dad dropped her off to you. Met you. Then collected her later

Surely that the best /first way to meet parents of gf/bf

It's good the dad dropped off so you could meet each other isn't it

Mummyratbag · 06/01/2024 21:34

She's 12 and her parents have let other boys (plural) stay over??

She is his only friend so he is very vulnerable.

This is all sorts of wrong. I wouldn't feel happy with them watching my handbag let alone my son.

I hope the bullying has resolved and your son can make friends - this is so sad.

AllIsWellish · 06/01/2024 20:05

user1496146479 · 06/01/2024 19:43

I guess friends I wouldn't mind as much, but even the context is GF/BF I'd like to know that there is some level of supervision at that age. I'm 99% sure nothing would happen this early, but I don't want him in a he said/she said situation at his age

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No, same. I definitely prefered having gfs at mine rather then ds1 going to theirs. Although he was a bit older , which is probably worse as I think you are right that it's unlikely anything would happen at 13 .