To just not send in a packed lunch?

Just send a sandwich and drink. If you know he's only eating the crisps then surely just cut those out?
You've said he's not going to starve so I don't understand why you've not done this already? Then if he eats nothing that's an issue.

I have one of these - he’s 12 now and still entirely unmotivated to eat and he is also the opposite of a fussy eater! He’ll eat almost anything, the more ‘interesting’ the better, but just not much of it and he just doesn’t seem to feel hunger like other kids. I think at 3, he also would have struggled to eat at pre-school if it wasn’t closely supervised as there would be too much else to do and he’s such a slow eater. Anyway, you have my sympathy and, contrary to the poll on the other post, I absolutely think that you should discuss this with the preschool as that it is part of their job of educating them (and ultimately being ready for school) and of looking after his basic needs while he’s in their care. Don’t do it as an accusation (I don’t get the feeling you would anyway) but it’s perfectly reasonable to ask for their help in getting him to eat a bit more.

@Unpackedlunch when you say "pre-school" is it part of an Infant or Primary School?
It could be that they are only allocated 20 minutes in the hall for lunch and their slot is over. If the children haven't eaten in that time it's tough luck as the next class has to come in. The staff might be constantly telling him to eat but once the time has run out there isn't much they can do.
( terrible system - but that's how many schools are)

@LuckySantangelo35 Yep! and anyway we love sausage and mash so i’m taking all the nitrates once a week 😂

I'd be angry with the staff if my child hadn't eaten anything but crisps.

I'd send in a sandwich, piece of fruit and a drink and ask staff to make sure he eats.

Why is that advice containing the phrase "rod for your own back" is 90% of the time shit advice.

Absolutely agree with other posters about the importance of modelling sitting down at a table together and eating. Even if you can't do it everyday you need to try and do it regularly. You could always have a cuppa if you aren't going to eat at the same time. Concentration, social skills etc all begin at home you'll be preparing the ground for much more than 'eating manners'.

No, that's silly. A busy, buzzing-around kid with a small appetite needs to eat where he'll eat. He's three. Sure he should eat sitting round the table with the family sometimes but sometimes he just needs to get calories in, that's the important thing. A kid like that often just won't eat when there's more fun things to do like at pre-school, unless it's the kid equivalent of crack. If he's eating the crisps that's something.

People are so determined to find fault with the OP's child-raising but this shit is just difficult with some kids this age. They're not adults going to an office with a lunch hour. Their heads are full of fireworks and shiny distractions.

OP, I do think you need to keep sending the lunch though, both to have it available as an option and to reassure the pre-school providers that he's adequately cared for. Don't underestimate how carefully they watch these thins. It would be fucking irritating to get pulled in for a concerned chat or whatever. Just send a half-sandwich and a tangerine or banana or whatever that he can bring back and take again the next day. That way if and when he's ready to eat in that time and place, it's there.

What time is the afternoon session @Unpackedlunch?
Would it be worth giving him lunch before he goes? At least a filling mid-morning snack? That way it doesn't matter if he doesn't eat much/anything at preschool.

OP I get how frustrating it must be but the solution isn't to just stop providing food. You need to find creative ways of making the food you provide seem appetising to little kids. Many have mentioned bento boxes, they truly are brilliant at presenting food in a non overwhelming fashion.
Things that fit nicely into bento boxes:

• mini scotch eggs
• cubes of cheese
• little round crackers
• rolled up ham
• hummus
• carrot sticks
• mini cucumbers
• cream cheese
• cherry tomatoes
• mini falafel
• raspberries
• babybels
• satsuma segments
• chopped up pineapple -
• petit filous
• pretzels

Think posh lunchables.

And she's confused that he wants to eat on the go at nursery, can't, and thus is wasting the food?

So she's answered her own question?

@SecondUsername4me The OP has said he 'eats on the go' (doesn't sit down.)

Exactly.

I'm surprised that you can't see the obvious pattern between what happens at home and what he does at pre school.

How do you expect him to sit at a table and eat with all the distraction of pre school when you've not taught him to eat at a table at home?

This is a basic social skill and no different to toilet training, getting dressed, and all the other things children need to learn.

Where does he sit and eat breakfast and dinner at home?

Please please role model eating meals together sitting at a table.

eat the same food, at the same time, together.

It's a really, really important basic life skill

You need to pack him something, even if it's just a few pieces of fruit that can return back to your fruit bowl at the end of the day.

I'd definitely talk to the pre school first though, I'm not sure why anyone would think it's unreasonable to do so. Maybe someone could sit with him and encourage him. My DS went through a phase of barely eating in reception, the TA asked me if I'd mind if they encouraged him to eat (I think as the done thing now is to just provide food and not comment on how much they're eating but some kids need that encouragement). I said of course and he started eating better.

With my child who barely ate, I started including some elements that I could reuse. They filled out the lunch box and if she ate them, great, if not, then no big deal. After a few trips back and forth I would toss them and replenish.

So I would pack crackers, I think those are biscuits in the uk, which would go uneaten. I would also pack some little slices of cheese which she would eat. So it looked like a planned meal, but she just at the bits she would eat.

I think I had cut up fruit that I knew she would eat and then a small apple that was unlikely.

if she ever got hungry there was plenty of food and I never let it get stale, but I did reuse it across days.

She even asked me why I bothered with the things she didn’t eat and I admitted I couldn’t send her with a lunch as small as she wanted because it would look bad. She was a precocious ASD child and prone to questions like that and we gave honest answers.

He likes bits he can pick at then! Nothing wrong with sending him in with a few small things that he can tackle little by little :)

@Seeline I agree with that BUT the OP has said her son doesn't sit at a table at home to eat.

OP- why aren't you teaching your child social skills like sitting and eating together?

Do you sit and eat lunch with him at the same time, at home? Might be a good idea!

I still can't get my head round having to sit and eat your lunch as soon as you arrive for an afternoon session at pre-school? Is that common these days? I can't imagine any child wanting to do that when they've just arrived - there must be much more exciting stuff to do.

Can you not feed him before he goes?

Forcing him to sit at a table just means he eats barely anything, so I’m happy for him to eat on the go

You've made a rod for your own back.

He would eat sitting at a table if the only time you gave him food was when he sat down at the table.

It's not about 'forcing' it's training him in social skills, and that's your role as a parent.

OP can’t get him to try to eat anything because she isn’t there. The food is just something in a box. If the pre-school staff do nothing, the whole responsibility falls on a 3 year old.

I've worked in preschools and we have always had a set lunchtime and all the children have sat down together to eat their lunch. This encourages all children to eat, even the fussiest ones. I'm absolutely amazed that your pre school is allowing children to eat whenever and run round playing while eating food? Am I correct there? I think the problem is with the preschool and I'd be asking why they don't sit down as a group.

Also I'd echo what another poster has said. Buy single wrap items that you can just bung back into the lunchbag the next day.one slice of bread for a sandwich, etc. Saves wasting food but it's still there for him to have if he wants to eat it.