To just not send in a packed lunch?

There is really no tactful way to say this @Unpackedlunch

The fact you can't see the connection between how you are parenting your son's meals at home, and his behaviour at pre school, is shocking.

If you don't make your son sit and eat (and finish) a meal at home sitting at the table, how the hell do you expect him to do so at pre school?

Learning to sit at a table and finish a meal is something your child needs to be taught. I was taught, and I taught my own kids, that when you leave the table , the food is cleared away. End of meal.
No getting up and down, no wandering around, no grazing .

If you can't see the connection and how what you do at home is part of the problem there isn't anything anyone can do to help you.

YOU are the problem in all of this. Not your son, not the fact the food isn't the 'right ' food, but your lack of proper parenting.

Speak to a member of staff about it-his keyworker, it will not come across as confrontational, the staff are there to work with you to provide the best outcomes for him
if you don’t provide a lunch that will look neglectful and they will want to speak to you about it
little bits of food he likes, it’s probably very busy at lunch, probably sensory overload and he probably spends his time watching others and taking in the experience
if the staff know to give lots of positive encouragement to eat, he’ll respond to that and give it a bit of time and he’ll eat
hope that’s helpful!

You are telling everyone they're wrong!

So you didn't read it, but just spouted a load of crap to the op.

HTFT. Can you cut the sandwich into bite sized squares? Give him bite-sized fruits (apple chunks, grapes, satsuma segments etc)? If they’ll let him eat as he plays at pre-school, this could work.

My kids are way out of this stage, none of this matters in the grand scheme. But I do want to point out that you don’t have to choose between eating healthy food OR good manners OR sitting at a table etc. It’s entirely possible, and desirable, that children learn to do all of these things. Ideally, it would be all be taught and learned at the same time but some children just can’t learn, and some parents just can’t teach. It’s a shame, but 3yo is hardly a time to be drawing conclusions. Get the child fed, work on all the other things so that by the time he starts proper school he’s doing it all.

YABU. Mine hated sandwiches and still isn't a fan. Bread sticks, cheese cubes, cherry tomatoes, grapes cut in half, blueberries, bits of ham, babybels, mini cheddars or Ritz biscuits, rice cakes, squeezy yogurts, fruit winders...

Does he do full days or half days. My daughter went to pre school 9-12 and they are their lunch around 11:15. She rarely actually ate hers but would often have it once she came home. I always sent it in as they sat together at tables and learned how to eat lunch and behave during dinner times. For her it was just too early. I was worried about her going up to reception but the later 12pm lunch did help.

Send him in with cheese and crackers with butter in a pot/breadsticks /french stick cut up and buttered insert applicable finger food here ...job done. If non perishable you can just leave it in there.

Except he’s not there all day; just the afternoon. When he was provided with lunch, the preschool didn’t ensure that he ate it, so who actually is neglectful?

@Lilithlogic chill out .... because

Send mostly packaged items only so there’s no waste but there’s food if he suddenly wants to eat. A packet of cheese oatcakes. An apple. Packet of nuts. Packet of raisins.

Op, go to asda cafe it's a cheap lunch box with a lot of food children like.

What about snacky bits he can pick at?

If I only had an hour to myself a day then I would absolutely object to using some of it to do a packed lunch. Never made my children such a thing unless it was a school trip. They ate school dinners (or they could have made their own packed lunch, but declined to do this).

How is that neglect?? Read the post
.

"but given I get about an hour to myself all day and in that time I have a LOT to do, it’s quite precious!" Tough shit you have a 3 year old who needs his mother there isn't a thing on this earth that is more important than that child.

It's not about the sandwich. It's about him eating appropriately for the setting he's in.

Genuinely they will have to report you for neglect if you consistently don’t send him food. Your answer can’t just be ‘oh well’ if a 3 year old isn’t eating throughout a 6 hour day. You need to work out a plan with the staff to encourage him to eat and persevere. It’s important not to waste food but it’s more important to parent your kids. Send small portions and things that keep well/that he can have for tea if he doesn’t eat them at lunch.

Yes of course. But is eating a sandwich really a basic life skill?

Especially with the reason being the parent can't be bothered to make it because he doesn't eat it. But she's said earlier he does eat some of it sometimes.

It's not daft at all. I work in a child protection related field and sending a child to nursery all day with no lunch would most definitely count as neglect.

How long is he in preschool for? For instance mine have only ever gone for morning sessions so would have lunch at home. With my ds's last year in preschool they introduced lunch(preschool provided it)and it was hit and miss. Sometimes he'd eat it, sometimes he wouldn't and it was more a case of wanting to play then disliking the actual food. I used to ask him what he had eaten and if he said he hadn't liked it he would usually be ravenous and eat at home. I didn't worry because I knew I could provide lunch at home. If either of them had been there till 3pm then I would have been more concerned as they would likely have been very hungry as soon as they got in.

I would speak to his preschool and find out a bit more about how meals are structured. For instance do they eat in the playroom, is there an area separate for meals, if it's attached to a school do they go to a dinner hall? I would ask them to encourage home to eat.

Wow. I had to Google what you meant. Nurseries has a legal right to make sure no child is abused in any way and we would have to write a cause of concern form and work with you to help ways of getting him to eat, or if you have any problems coping etc. I have been in childcare for 22 years and I can quote many laws such as Children's Act 1989.

Bloody hell chill out

Nah the pre school should let him and all the other kids take their food with them, get vermin...clean up constantly!