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AIBU?

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Original poster

To just not send in a packed lunch?

431 replies

Unpackedlunch · 19/12/2023 09:35

Ds is 3, started at a preschool in September. All fine, except it’s a packed lunch and ds doesn’t eat it. Every time he goes I send him with a sandwich, fruit and crisps and every time he comes back with the crisps eaten and nothing else.

I definitely don’t want to be That Parent and the staff are lovely and I don’t want to risk antagonising them, but I can’t see the point of wasting food. It’s also one more thing to do and I know it doesn’t take long but that’s not the point. Would it really be unreasonable to just not bother? It looks neglectful I know but equally what’s the point of sending in food for the sake of it?

OP posts:
Original poster
Unpackedlunch · 19/12/2023 09:45

Hubblebubble · 19/12/2023 09:41

Just saw yours won't eat pasta. What does he like to eat?

He isn’t fussy in the slightest and eats most things. It’s more the environment than the food.

So for example he attends a nursery for two days a week and almost always eats everything.

At home, he eats everything but needs encouragement shall we say (reminders - ds, eat your dinner, ds, eat your dinner, DS!)

At preschool where children are up and down and in and out and no reminders, no chance. He’d rather play. So there’s no point going on an exotic food shop and I know this because I’ve tried! It’s just an even more expensive waste of food!

OP posts:
DinkyDonkey2018 · 19/12/2023 09:43

"I can’t see the point of wasting food."

"It’s also one more thing to do"

"What’s the point of sending in food for the sake of it?"

This is awful.
He's 3 - you'll be "wasting food" for a few years to come yet.

Feeding your child is one more thing to do?? It takes 5 minutes to shove a lunch together.

You aren't "sending food in for the sale of it". You're providing lunch and if he chooses not to eat it then fine, but he will likely change his mind at some point and then what? He'll have no lunch because his mother couldn't be bothered?

LittleGreenDragons · 19/12/2023 09:43

I think it's fine OP, just send in a can of beer and a kebab.

The other option is to ask the nursery staff what other children eat (to give you ideas) and if your child eyes up any other food that is there. He might keep looking at someone's Red Leicester cheese sandwich whilst ignoring the Cheddar cheese sandwich. He might keep sitting next to the child who has brown bread and not white, etc.

Youcannotbeseriousreally · 19/12/2023 09:42

Oh my!! How much does a cheese sandwich cost?? Don’t send crisps. Sounds like he eats the junk and nothing else. Remove the junk. Send veg sticks hummus , fruit, sandwich or wrap etc then when he starts eating , reintroduce crisps if you want to. I assume he eats Lunch when he’s at home?!

Original poster
Unpackedlunch · 19/12/2023 09:42

So the Demon Crisps are at fault, that is the consensus? Be interesting to see what (if anything) he eats today.

OP posts:
Xmasisoffsantahascovid · 19/12/2023 09:42

Nowt wrong with a crisp sandwich!

Sunshineclouds11 · 19/12/2023 09:42

What does he eat at home?
Send that in.

VisiblyNot25 · 19/12/2023 09:42

If you don’t like waste, just send less. But I think you should keep sending - one day he’ll suddenly just start eating it.

Original poster
Unpackedlunch · 19/12/2023 09:41

I did think of cutting the crisps. He doesn’t actually have any today now you mention it - he has the thrilling option of a cheese sandwich, tangerine and raisins. I suspect he will eat the raisins and nothing else Hmm

OP posts:
Anoisagusaris · 19/12/2023 09:41

Maybe if you left out the crisps he’d eat the other food? Of course a 3 year old is going to go for the crisps if given them. I don’t even give my 15 crisps in his lunch.

prescribingmum · 19/12/2023 09:41

As you post more, I find it quite concerning that your answer is to not send food rather than to raise with staff that he isn’t eating and how to find a way to encourage him to eat. He’s only 3 - of course he needs more nutrition than a packet of crisps over the course of a day at preschool

Hubblebubble · 19/12/2023 09:41

Just saw yours won't eat pasta. What does he like to eat?

Original poster
Unpackedlunch · 19/12/2023 09:40

CactusPat · 19/12/2023 09:39

What would he eat all day then? Nothing? Do you not make him lunch at home?

How long do you think he’s at preschool? It’s not Eton Confused

He has breakfast in the morning and dinner at home, in the evening. Plus a mid morning snack at preschool but I don’t know if he eats that either.

OP posts:
Hubblebubble · 19/12/2023 09:40

My son was the exact same for a while. Just would not eat sandwiches. So I packed him a thermos of pesto pasta or tortellini with a yoghurt and banana and he ate it up.

LadySybilRamekin · 19/12/2023 09:40

Don't send crisps! He might eat something else if crisps aren't an option.

Original poster
Unpackedlunch · 19/12/2023 09:39

araiwa · 19/12/2023 09:38

Do you like social services paying you a visit?

Don’t be so daft 🤣

OP posts:
Marwoodsbigbreak · 19/12/2023 09:39

Mine would eat samosas, scotch eggs, pasta, sausage rolls, cheese triangles. Doesn’t always have to be sandwiches does it?

CactusPat · 19/12/2023 09:39

What would he eat all day then? Nothing? Do you not make him lunch at home?

Original poster
Unpackedlunch · 19/12/2023 09:39

Sirzy · 19/12/2023 09:37

Why not just change it to things that he will eat?

He doesn’t eat anything there. I think there is just too much going on. I did initially try pasta salad and some slightly more exciting things but when I realised they were just coming back uneaten I went for the easiest option.

@Jacfrost - but seriously, what’s the point if he doesn’t eat it? Grin

OP posts:
araiwa · 19/12/2023 09:38

Do you like social services paying you a visit?

araiwa · 19/12/2023 09:38

Do you like social services paying you a visit?

LightToTheWorld · 19/12/2023 09:38

You can't do this.

I'd try sending the sandwich and fruit without the crisps. If he's not being closely supervised and he likes crisps, he'll fill up on them and leave the rest.

mrboombasticwhy · 19/12/2023 09:38

Omg

prescribingmum · 19/12/2023 09:38

It is neglectful not to send in a lunch and staff will follow up on it.

I have two children who are not great with sandwiches but eat other foods in a packed lunch - hot meals in thermos/flatbreads/wraps etc. I use bento boxes and send multiple smaller items which works much better. Explore other lunch options - sandwich and crisps are not great nutritionally anyway

romdowa · 19/12/2023 09:38

You need to send him with things he will eat. It's hardly rocket science.

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