To just not send in a packed lunch?

My DD doesn't eat sandwiches either (unless they're marmite ones). I had a nightmare trying to figure packed lunches that she would eat (FWIW, I hate wasting food too). So I bought my kids a thermos flask each and just heat up the leftovers from our supper from the night before (assuming that there are no nuts in there). They have that for lunch (if there's enough for me, I'll take some in to heat up at work too). It works well for us as I know they've had a good home-cooked lunch. Would that be worth a shot? At that age, my DS would eat stuff no problem, my daughter was more tricky (although much easier now at 10yrs old!).

It's worth talking to the staff about it - I certainly did in my DD's case and just asked them to prompt her/encourage her to get on and eat! I'd then check in with them at pick up and see what she had eaten (my DC were at a nursery and they kept records of what each kid ate). If I could have got her to eat crudités and pieces of cheese etc, then I would have done that (but she doesn't) ---> weird child: won't eat sandwiches/salads/cheese/much cold stuff but will eat a veg filled hot meal without an issue.

You can't just not send in a lunch. I totally get the waste though. I'm a childminder and one of my little ones was just chucking his sandwich straight onto the floor every day and eating the rest so I suggested mum stopped sending the sandwich (after trying various ways to encourage him to eat it)... he now has a little brioche roll instead of a sandwich which he actually does eat.

You say he ‘eats fine at Nursery and at home’ but the whole point of your post is that he doesn’t eat at Nursery and needs a lot of encouragement at home.

He won’t suddenly change when he’s in Reception, he needs to learn to eat independently at home and at school. As is shown by what he’s doing at Nursery, if you aren’t there saying ‘come on eat, eat etc’ then he won’t. Lunches won’t be chaotic, noisy, up and down experiences at Nursery, he’s just not eating and he needs help to do this.

He hasn’t yet learnt to focus on food and eat by himself without an adult telling him to so this will be important to work on, otherwise he’ll start school lacking the independent skills he needs. This year I have a few children like your son who we give extra eating time to and they look completely bewildered when their friends pack up and go, it’s a shame but we’re having to teach them what they haven’t been taught at home.

You need to have a word with nursery then and see if they can create a quiet area for him.

My SEN son won't eat in big groups or when there are more fun things to do around because he lacks interoception and if he's busy he will not realise he needs to eat or drink.

It was agreed with school that at lunch times he could have extra time and would be somewhere quiet and they'd work on a routine with him.

You still need to provide food. He can't eat it if he doesn't have the option.

This thread has got to be a nasty joke. The OP knew there would be a pile on.

But if he is not supervised or encouraged to eat it at lunchtime (as seems to be the case) he won’t learn to eat it either. OP, can you have a word with the staff to ask them about what they can do to help.

You can’t just not send lunch, that’s not how it works. Can you ask him to tell you what he wants.
My DD went through a phase of not eating sandwich and there are lots of either options we tried that are similar and filled with cheese or chicken like croissant, brioche buns, half of a bagel, tacos etc. just a little bit of everything and she’ll eat some.

You could send things that don't spoil and could be eaten that afternoon or the next day.
Things like apples or mandarins or prepackaged fruit cups. I've had an apple do 3 trips to school and back before being eaten. They're actually one of the DC in questions favourite fruits and they travel well. Crackers, mini packs of dried fruit, mini muffins, cookies could all be eaten fine later. I have a friend who'd put dinner leftovers in her DC lunchbox.

If you haven't yet I'd speak to the staff. They should be sitting down to eat no matter how busy and early years teachers usually make sure kids are eating. There are always kids at our preschool that have to show they've eaten something before they can go off to play and get sent back to sit down and eat some more if they haven't.

Have you actually talked to the preschool? That could save you a lot of time and hassle.

Don't send crisps then. There have been lots of healthier suggestions. I'm not sure why crisps have made themselves so prevalent in kids' packed lunches anyway. My kids are all still alive and I never sent crisps or chocolate in their lunches. Just try lots of things like mini wraps instead of sandwiches, cheese and crackers, chopped veg / fruit.
Sometimes, it helps if we try these foods as snacks at home first. If we get rid of crisps and biscuits from the snack options at home, they get used to having healthier stuff. At 3 years old this is a perfect time to do it.

how about using shape cutters to cut it into little bite size pieces? i'd try anything to be honest.

Just put some crackers, slices of cheese, raisins and cucumber slices in a box. If he doesn't graze on it, then he can eat it when he gets home.

Nothing to add to previous posts but I want to thank @SleepingStandingUp for the phrase “mother up”. Love it 😊

@Unpackedlunch Just a thought....are you wrapping the sandwich up in a way that he doesn't know how to open it.
It could be he eats the crisps because he can open the packet - but he hasn't figured out how to open a zip-lock bag or lunch box.

Well you just sound selfish tbh. Like your time is more important than anything else ( including if you kid is hungry!)

They are probably giving them too much for the mid-morning snack and he just isn't hungry.

So your just going to starve him!

Talk to the staff and ask for help in encouraging him to eat.
Id be very surprised if lunchtime is as chaotic as you’re making out, the private nursery and then school nursery my children went to, plus my own class, lunch is calm and focused on eating. Choking is a risk so I’d be really surprised if they let children get up and down with ‘too much going on’.

I think it’s likely he struggles with eating, you mention having to remind him a lot at home, he’s not eating at Nursery and you need to help
him before he starts school. Children aren’t going to learn if they don’t practise, he needs to learn to eat at lunchtime, initially with lots of adult support like you give him at home but eventually he could do it himself. At home remind him to eat but not constantly and have the expectation that he’ll sit at the table and at least make a good effort without you doing it for him by telling him a lot e.g. when he starts to get down ‘X you need to finish/try your sandwich so we can do x, y and z’

If any parent didn’t send a child in with a lunch on purpose I’d be flagging it as a safeguarding concern. If you explained the issue as you have here Id think you were trying to avoid addressing the problem and offer you support.

I was just thinking a smaller portion must be less daunting for him if he’s not a big eater plus also less wasteful for you

Can he eat it when he comes home and then it won’t be wasted?