To just not send in a packed lunch?

Poor kid.
you seem to see him not eating as an opportunity for you to do less parenting and cross a chore off your list.
you need to put more effort in here, not less.

I get why you think it's a waste and annoying to make just for to it to be uneaten. But you still need to provide a packed lunch. As he becomes more settled, lunch may become more routine am he may start eating more but he never will if you don't give him lunch. Also, likely part of your nursery contract that you must provide a packed lunch so they will probably pull you if you don't.

Lots of children don't eat well at preschool/nursery/school - and literally no parents respond by withholding lunch!
If they did, it would be a safeguarding concern for neglect.

Have you asked the staff to try and get him to eat? Maybe they don’t realise.

Hoping your suggestion of not sending food was light-hearted!

I would stop sending anything with sugar and salt added as these will suppress his appetite enough so that he doesn't want to eat his lunch. So no crisps and no raisins. Just fresh fruit, NAS yoghurt and a sandwich/wrap/roll etc.

I find your attitude quite shocking to be honest. It sounds like you resent him for wasting your time. Mothering him is the most important job you have.

If I was the OP I would be making a similar lunch at home on a weekend day, two similar lunches actually, one for myself and one for the child. Sitting and encouraging him to eat the packed lunch with you might be all the help he needs to get him started. Also you can see if he can cope with opening the lunchbox, unwrapping, unboxing the food or if you need you tweak the presentation. I think the idea of the sandwich cut into different shapes sounds as though it might work too. Anything is worth a try.

Sandwich, crisps and fruit for lunch seems fine for a fully grown adult.

I'd send in some finger foods as they're easy to eat - cubes of cheese, halved grapes, blueberries, little cheesy biscuits - that kind of thing. And ask the staff to please give him some encouragement to eat, or he'd rather play.

I definitely wouldn't not send anything - the nursery staff will then have to contact you and it will cause problems for them. Plus, what if he's hungry one day and you haven't sent him with any lunch?

Just drop the crisps and send in fruit and something protein. If it’s not eaten, surely it can be offered for a snack when he gets home. You can’t not send him in without any food.

This! Of course he’ll eat crisps rather than a sandwich…apples also aren’t a good choice for independent eating, better with berries or pre cut fruit that can be eaten with zero effort.

To be fair I’d also ask what the staff are doing to encourage him to eat, doesn’t sound like there’s a whole lot of effort on that front either

That's quite unusual. Are the children all sitting down together to eat?
How much do the staff supervise?

Just to play devil's advocate, we have a child in reception who is very young, and his parents sent a beautiful lunch every single day. He only ever eats the sausage roll. Someone would open all the food for him every day, and we would have to send home this lunch uneaten and it would get binned every single day. I finally just told mum and dad to send a sausage roll.

Send a crisp sandwich 🤣

Honestly though, you can't send nothing - maybe try stuff that's not going to perish like single serve crackers with a tub of toppings.

Google lunchbox ideas for toddlers, and recipes. There are literally millions

So basically, it’s all about you and the fact that you’d rather have an extra 5 minutes than make your child a lunch? You cannot send your child to nursery without any lunch as the staff will (quite rightly so) refer as a safeguarding concern.

I think you are sending in too much food for a 3 year old. I wouldn’t eat a sandwich, packet of crisps and a piece of fruit for lunch every day as a fully grown adult.

I’d make one cheese sandwich per week and send in half on two days. The other three days give a different main element but make it a small portion. Ditch the crisps entirely or decant a few into a sealed bag and make the whole bag last over several days. Keep the fruit but make it easy to eat - clementine already peeled, apples cored and sliced, grapes halved already. Once he starts coming back with an empty box, then you can up the quantities if you feel he needs this.

Less waste and also more likely he will eat what you want him to eat and not just fill up on a 35g bag of crisps.

This! And not crisps.

Every morning I dress my child in clean clothes knowing they'll soon be dirty. Every night I tuck her into bed knowing she'll soon be back out again. Parenting is full of endless moments like these and tasks that feel almost pointless but we still continue to do them. Even a lunchbox that hasn't been touched needs preparing again for the next day, however frustrating it is.

You will need to send food and cop the wastage. I had one who did not eat at school. The most was a quarter of an apple at recess. Nightmare in primary years as they don’t accept some kids just don’t eat no matter what you give them. Mine would have eaten chocolate bars but that was it, no crisps or lollies, and I wasn’t prepared to have them eat chocolate bars for recess and lunch. Caused a right kerfuffle. So I’d waste a sandwich each day, plus quarter of an apple (I’d send them with half), but otherwise I just added a few packaged things like muslei bars, crackers and just leave them there and maybe replace once in the year. Thank goodness for high school where no one cared and we didn’t have to go through that charade.

My child had a good breakfast (porridge or scrambled eggs on toast or similar), and ate a decent portion of a nutritious dinner at night. No issue at all and they did very well at school, and were very energetic and did serious sports most days. As an adult they are the same, eat brekkie and dinner, no lunch or snacks at work, no health issues, energetic and still play competitive sports. If a kid or adult genuinely isn’t hungry at school/work but have food otherwise in the day it shouldn’t be made into a huge drama.

OP I feel your pain. My (incredibly lazy and fussy) children would eat NOTHING but shite if offered at that age.

We cut out the crisps/sweet shit for a few years as they would touch nothing else in the packed lunch. We did up until about year 4.
So a packed lunch was like this:
they got 1 of: sandwich/pasta salad/wrap/samosa/chicken pieces
2 veg (peppers, peas, cucumber, carrots, celery, cherry toms etc)
1 bit of fruit (mainly berries)

After year four we added biscuit or a yoghurt .
No crisps/cakes/bars/sausage rolls etc
They ate more and more of it and now eat everything as teens. They are all over 6 foot and very fit and healthy so must have been alright in the end!

Given that it’s probably just a phase, I’d carry on sending him with a lunch but with less in it against the day he decides he will eat it. And I know this sounds bad, but even if it is partly for show, it stops a concern being raised which any preschool worth its salt really should do. You’re obviously a caring mum but some aren’t. And talk to the staff. It will all work out.

I'd be interested to read that thread...

Why are you not speaking to the preschool about making sure he eats his lunch rather than contemplating not sending food?

Excellent parenting, child doesn't eat food, don't vary it, don't ask pre school how to overcome him not concentrating on food, just don't give him any. Problem sorted!

Just speak to the nursery, he won't be the first to not eat his packed lunch. Its good to make them aware they you know it's just coming all back home, and see if they can support him eating something or recommendations of what might help. Chances are they'll say sorry we can't, in which case as long as you're not concerned about him not eating I wouldn't worry; send some stuff in but not loads of fresh things that'll go off.