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Original poster

To just not send in a packed lunch?

431 replies

Unpackedlunch · 19/12/2023 09:35

Ds is 3, started at a preschool in September. All fine, except it’s a packed lunch and ds doesn’t eat it. Every time he goes I send him with a sandwich, fruit and crisps and every time he comes back with the crisps eaten and nothing else.

I definitely don’t want to be That Parent and the staff are lovely and I don’t want to risk antagonising them, but I can’t see the point of wasting food. It’s also one more thing to do and I know it doesn’t take long but that’s not the point. Would it really be unreasonable to just not bother? It looks neglectful I know but equally what’s the point of sending in food for the sake of it?

OP posts:
Inyourwildestdreams · 19/12/2023 12:07

What does a typical days food look like for him when in preschool and when at home @Unpackedlunch?

Canisaysomething · 19/12/2023 12:06

Discouraging salty crisps and high sugar dried fruit is pretty standard for most schools and pre schools where I live. Just half the sandwich and send that with a piece of fresh fruit. The idea that you would just send in some crisps for a pre-schooler is bad and the fact the pre-school have allowed your child to just eat crisps for lunch every day is even worse.

Snugglemonkey · 19/12/2023 12:01

Unpackedlunch · 19/12/2023 09:47

@DinkyDonkey2018 I hate waste. It’s very different (in my eyes anyway) leaving a bit of your dinner and just leaving food completely untouched.

And I don’t like time being wasted either. Five minutes, sure, but given I get about an hour to myself all day and in that time I have a LOT to do, it’s quite precious!

As precious as your child?

HamstersAreMyLife · 19/12/2023 12:01

My 8yo still gets distracted at lunch. He also won't eat if there's too much food. I would cut down, he def doesn't need a treat either. I would try half a sandwich or similar and half a satsuma or chopped apple and see what happens. My experience has been if there's nice food that gets eaten first and the rest is neglected so I just cut back and have a variety of things. It's going to be good trying this all out now before they get into school

PastelHouses · 19/12/2023 12:00

This reply has been deleted

This is a goady troll so we've removed their posts.

Snugglemonkey · 19/12/2023 11:59

Of course your child needs a lunch!!!

Original poster
Unpackedlunch · 19/12/2023 11:54

BaconMassive · 19/12/2023 11:38

I used to send mine in nappies but he just pooed in them, so after a while I didn't bother. What was the point?

That literally makes no sense as an example because the whole point of nappies is to poo in them.

I think a better example would be a child who is potty training but isn’t going on the potty wearing pants. If after a while they are just pooing in their pants it might be going back to nappies is the best option.

Neglect is when you won’t or can’t to meet a child’s needs, which wouldn’t be applicable here. I’d literally be saying to preschool they he would eat at home. That’s it.

OP posts:
PastelHouses · 19/12/2023 11:52

This reply has been deleted

This is a goady troll so we've removed their posts.

Tearsofamermaid · 19/12/2023 11:52

My daughter was a very fussy eater and I was frequently in tears over it. She especially hated sandwiches and wouldn’t eat ‘cooked’ food at lunchtime, so no option to send pasta etc. She did love cold deli meats and cheese so I tried a little selection box of some chopped salami/ham/cheese which she would have. I also wasn’t afraid to send crisps, as better that she ate something than nothing. Please don’t stop sending a sandwich/some kind of main, eventually he will eat it.. and how will he learn to eat it if it isn’t supplied?

CatherinedeBourgh · 19/12/2023 11:48

I would just get a packet of energy bars of some sort and put one in along with an apple. There's enough energy in one of those to keep him going all day if he needs to, and if he doesn't eat it it will keep for the next time.

HMW1906 · 19/12/2023 11:41

Unpackedlunch · 19/12/2023 09:39

Don’t be so daft 🤣

Show quote history

OP isn’t being daft, not sending him with food would basically be neglect. The preschool would be obligated to report it.

BaconMassive · 19/12/2023 11:38

I used to send mine in nappies but he just pooed in them, so after a while I didn't bother. What was the point?

BlazingJune · 19/12/2023 11:37

But many people are suggesting cubes of cheese and mini sausages....that's far worse!

How exactly?

Cubes of cheese at least contain calcium and protein (and they don't have to be pre-wrapped cubes they can be cubes cut off a block of Cheddar.) So I'm not sure why you think cheese is a bad choice.

Sausages- well, they are full of nitrites that can cause bowel cancer, so the wouldn't be on my list, other than an occasional treat but at least they do contain protein, unlike crisps.

Have you missed the news yesterday about the obesity epidemic, 3000 adults a day in hospital due to weight issues, and the number of children hospitalised because of obesity?

Ok so 2 packets of crisps a week aren't going to make someone obese, but they establish a pattern of eating junk food and whatever kids eat as children tends to stay with them for life.

penjil · 19/12/2023 11:28

BlazingJune · 19/12/2023 11:27

No.

Sorry @penjil

Why are you defending salty, fatty, refined and ultra processed food for a 3 year old?

Show quote history

But many people are suggesting cubes of cheese and mini sausages....that's far worse!

BlazingJune · 19/12/2023 11:27

penjil · 19/12/2023 11:19

Can we stop demonising crisps please?

Show quote history

No.

Sorry @penjil

Why are you defending salty, fatty, refined and ultra processed food for a 3 year old?

BlazingJune · 19/12/2023 11:25

Unpackedlunch · 19/12/2023 11:20

It’s only one packet of crisps twice a week. His diet is honestly pretty good as a rule - despite grandparents! I think I’ll just send some healthy snacks in, I suspect they won’t be eaten either though.

There are longer term consequences of food choices in early childhood.

Giving your child junk food (which crisps are- salty, fatty, refined carbs) you're creating a habit which will stay with him.

Your 'only twice a week' is a lot compared to some parents who only give crisps once in a blue moon.

He is already choosing those over the other food in his packed lunch.

Original poster
Unpackedlunch · 19/12/2023 11:24

He does like fruit. There’s very little he dislikes. He’s fairly ambivalent about food though - completely different to me in that respect, I’d sell my soul for cake but ds just has things he’d rather do, like play. Which is understandable, just he does have to eat sometimes!

OP posts:
VeganStar · 19/12/2023 11:22

… about the school snacks, it’s usually fruit, or it is in our school. So if he doesn’t like fruit he’s most likely not eating that either.

Original poster
Unpackedlunch · 19/12/2023 11:20

It’s only one packet of crisps twice a week. His diet is honestly pretty good as a rule - despite grandparents! I think I’ll just send some healthy snacks in, I suspect they won’t be eaten either though.

OP posts:
Original poster
Unpackedlunch · 19/12/2023 11:19

My DH hates cream and butter too @Albarinoqueen ! DS is fine with it but he just isn’t eating at preschool. My guess is that he’d just rather play. He’s the same at home too but I can obviously control that a bit more!

Someone asked about the other thread where I asked if it would be unreasonable to ask preschool to encourage him to eat - here thread only one reply but the poll is very much in favour of this being unreasonable so I did assume it wasn’t the ‘done thing’ if you like.

To expect preschool to encourage ds to eat a bit more? | Mumsnet

Ds has recently started at a preschool for afternoon sessions. Before now, he’s been to a private nursery and always ate all his lunch but the packed...

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4958507-to-expect-preschool-to-encourage-ds-to-eat-a-bit-more

OP posts:
penjil · 19/12/2023 11:19

Daisies12 · 19/12/2023 10:59

Crisps are totally unnecessary. Should be healthy things only - sandwich/pasta/wrap, fruit and veg. Try different options, and it doesn't matter if he doesn't eat it, just keep it for the next day.

Can we stop demonising crisps please?

HowdenHouseForSale · 19/12/2023 11:18

Try sending him in with just the sandwich, cut into 4. See if he eats any of it then.

VeganStar · 19/12/2023 11:17

Grammarnut · 19/12/2023 10:59

Why could the cheese not be sent again? Cheese does not go off overnight. Indeed, sitting out overnight tends to improve it.

Show quote history

Because he was eating the cheese.

Rosscameasdoody · 19/12/2023 11:16

Remove the crisps.

Albarinoqueen · 19/12/2023 11:14

Does your son eat sandwiches at home? My son at a similar age never ate sandwiches and when he was old enough he said “ don’t like the yellow stuff” - butter!!! He’s now in his 20’s and still hates cream and butter

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