Not letting ex take baby on Xmas Day?

Utterly ridiculous
Your child isn’t a christmas accessory.

The baby isn’t going to know the difference they can do it on the 26/27/28th. This is purely for them.

unfortunately you seem to have bred with a moron… who is apparently the offspring of two more total morons… so sadly you are going to be dealing with this bullshit from here to kingdom come.

Given that, there will be a lot more of this nonsense to come, so I’d start as you mean to go.
Their abominable treatment of you is unlikely to improve so just decline Christmas and offer him a few other dates highlight long the fact he’s got a fortnight off and so ample availability.

for the record;
you have ZERO to feel guilty about with regards to this man. At this point in time he can best be described as a sperm donor and occasional babysitter, not a father…

‘I won’t be travelling on Christmas Day nor leaving my baby. I wont be apologising to anyone for the stress of knowing I didn’t abort my beautiful perfect baby or that you weren’t at the birth of the baby you didn’t want. I won’t be offering any more time or visits to grandparents who keep going on about how my having our baby has caused them stress, I’m sure such stress will be much easier to manage if they don’t see baby. I will as always be focused on my baby, which you keep reminding me I chose to do. Merry Christmas.’

I'm a Dad, he sounds like he's just the father of your child. When he can act like a Dad, fulfil the responsibilities of being one, then he can make his case to you for having the privileges that come with it.

You've absolutely nothing to feel guilty about as other posters have clearly pointed out.

This is how you make it make sense to him.

‘your parents are angry I didn’t have an abortion.

your parents are now angry I won’t bend over backwards to facilitate a relationship with a child they were angry I didn’t abort.

if your parents want a relationship with their grandson here is my address, you can show up at X time. An apology for their insistence I get an abortion would be appreciate so would a thank you for not aborting their grandson they now wish to have a relationship with.

If they are not OK with this then they must understand this is their choice.’

that’s all you need to say.

OP why you even entertaining this and haven't just told him no piss off is beyond me. Your baby is breastfed. 4 hrs travelling plus however long they'll be at parents is not possible. Baby will need a feed long before then. Tell him to shut up and either see baby at your home or go without. Set some firm boundaries now for the years to come. Stop being a pushover.

Not a chance. There’s not much he can do about it if you say ‘no’, he can take you to court but that takes time and it’s unlikely he will get contact away from you when the child is still breast fed.

And brilliant if he takes you to court. Days will have to be set then.

No need to feel bad or guilty op. You always accommodate him,this time you dont want to. Totally fine.

As for the apology, I would be telling them clearly, I am not apologising for getting pregnant🤣 You didn't do that alone.

They don't get to dictate what you do at Xmas with the baby they wanted you to abort! I'd turn it round and say "I knew I was going to be doing this alone, so stay the hell out our lives so I can get on with it". They're actively making things worse for you an the child. Their relationship won't be a loss, it will be a benefit. No child should be used like this. Also, 4 hours of travel, on Xmas day? They don't give a shit about your baby or what is best for them.

Well there you go then. They keep reminding you that you chose to do it alone so they can fuck off then. Your baby isn't a doll that they can parade around on Christmas day for their own gratification. As if you're going to let your baby spend their first Christmas with near strangers! Can you send an email confirming all your boundaries and the reason why, then try to ignore after that? You could also tell him via email / text what you said about expecting he might use this time off to see his child.

It's important to keep all this correspondence in case of a future court case. Also any time he spends alone with the baby will strengthen his case if he goes for custody.

It sounds like you're doing an amazing job. Sounds like your baby has got an amazing bond with you and feeding as much as he does is a great thing. There's no such thing as too much dependence at this age. Feeding to sleep is the best way for you and baby to get the hormones you need for a good rest. I know it's hard but just try to enjoy this time and don't let those twats ruin it for you.

My baby is 12m, feeds a lot, and my partner is an amazing Dad but I still wouldn't let him take him off for a whole half day two hours away. A baby needs it's Mother.

Are you okay?? My 15 month old eats 3 meals and 2 snacks and still breastfeeds more than 3 times a day 🤣🤣 at 9 months my very involved husband couldn’t look after him alone for more than a few hours as he refused a bottle and loved his milkies.

They all sound awful! You’ve nothing to apologise for and they’re only demanding one to try and excuse their own heinous behaviour. Try not to let it ruin your day, you owe them nothing.

So he wanted no part of his child... Schmuck. He doesn't deserve ANY visitation.

Is he paying any child support... ?

The OP has said he isn’t on the birth certificate (his choice) so yes, she does.

He can change that via the court (either with or without consent of the OP) but he hasn’t done so.

Send him a Baby Annabel as a prop for his family Christmas photos..

@confusedex2 don't you dare feel guilty, they’re all fucking lunatics. Let him take you to court, he’ll look like a total fucking twat.

Does he have a car seat, a travel cot, feeding bits and formula and baby food, as obv your tits are not invited spare clothes etc? Tell him he needs to provide all this of he is serious about a relationship with the baby. He will soon change his mind.
i would say a firm no but they are welcome to visit but remind him this far they have shown little interest. Babies are not toys to pick up and play with and show around when he feels like it.

They’re a bunch of totally deluded cunts. My god. 😂

They want you to apologise for not having an abortion and putting them through stress, but they also want you to apologise for not having him at the birth? They want to now have this ‘situation’ for Christmas day and expect you to facilitate that, but he makes no effort to see the baby, hasn’t ever had them alone, but is threatening to take you to court…?

In short, what the fuck is wrong with them?!

'Things were up and down/on-off with my ex and I while I was pregnant. I found out he was sleeping with another woman (also sleeping with me) while I was carrying our baby.'

Then he was putting you at risk of STDs and by extension, putting your baby at risk. That's who he is.

'He wasn't present at the birth (I didn't feel comfortable with him seeing me vulnerable/naked especially given he was seeing other women and we were no longer together). I did have him to the hospital to visit the baby shortly after birth which I thought was fair.

However he has also said that I need to apologise for that as well'

No. The only reason for anyone to be present at a birth is to support the mother. It is not a right but a privilege, which he lost through his behaviour. You were more than fair in letting him visit afterwards.

So he owes you an apology not the other way round.

Having read through your post and all your comments, I would not want that man or any of his family anywhere near my baby. Block the lot of them and let him take you to court for visitation if he must. Save any written communication you have, screenshots or whatnot, showing what you've tried and what they've said, as you might need them. Good luck.

Are there any cultural issues here OP, that might cause an honour issue or a possibility the child could be removed from the country?

Regardless of that, no way at that age, especially with an absent father who doesn't want to be one.

Do you have legal sole custody... ?

He wasn't present at the birth (I didn't feel comfortable with him seeing me vulnerable/naked especially given he was seeing other women and we were no longer together). I did have him to the hospital to visit the baby shortly after birth which I thought was fair.

You were more than fair letting him visit the hospital shortly after birth. No one but no one that isn’t essential is entitled to be present during a birth. It’s literally a life, and sometimes sadly death, situation. It’s not a ‘nice day out’ or spectator sport.

Tell him when the lot of them apologise for being utter cunts you will have a sensible conversation with him about contact...

Honestly OP, you just have to accept that their view and yours are not the same. And that 95% of normal people would totally agree with YOUR view. They are batshit. Also, you don't really know what he is telling them so I think you should take it all with a pinch of salt - you know that he is irrational, cruel and a liar so .....