Not letting ex take baby on Xmas Day?

If your ex and his parents were as desperate to see the baby as much as they say they are, then they would be jumping at the chance to come and see baby at yours. This is all just a power play. The grandparents views and feelings are totally irrelevant.

Repeat your offer of them visiting baby at yours between x o'clock and x o'clock on Christmas day. Say that it's great that your ex wants to form a relationship with baby and that you will contact him in the new year to make a plan. Then ignore further messages/pressure/threats about Christmas. And no guilt from you. These people are awful.

@confusedex2 :you need to also make it clear to ex that his parents have no rights to baby!!!! If you do allow him to take baby at all then it is up to him to provide high chair and travel cot as well as car seat!!! if you send yours, I think they will try and keep baby overnight! that is not fair to baby to be left with strangers at all!! I would not be making any effort at all. if ex does not want to see baby then so be it!! his loss.

OP I'm sorry to be blunt but grow a backbone and put your baby first.

You don't need to listen to anything these people say. You've made a perfectly reasonable offer, they can choose to take it up or not. Their call. Tell your ex that, repeat ad infinitum.

Don't subject your baby and yourself to a miserable day just to pander to the whims of people who never wanted him/her to exist in the first place.

Do NOT let this man get in your head. It takes TWO people to make a baby and therefore TWO people have responsibility for that child. Him not wanting you to have the baby doesn’t mean he gets to skip responsibility when it suits him, his responsibilities started when you had sex. Since he’s decided to not meet the basic expectations of parenting on a regular basis he does NOT get to pick and choose when he sees your child. Especially when that means sending your child with people who are basically strangers who did not want you to have the child, haven’t put the effort in yet now claim it will ruin their Christmas if they don’t see your child. You know what is right for your baby. Trust your gut! Draw a line under this request once and for all. Tell him in writing it’s a no for the following reasons (explain them all) and that if he wants to work towards special occasions in the future he needs to step up. Outline what you’d need to see from him to feel confident he can take your child off for contact with his family. Then if he keeps asking say I’m not discussing this any further. If he keeps asking do not even respond.
You’ve got this mama 💪🏻 Have a lovely first Christmas with your baby.

Oh pull the other one.

These are the people who wanted you to abort your baby, yes? But now their hearts will be broken if they don't get to take your child away from you for a large part of Christmas day, causing distress and confusion for your child, so they can play at being loving grandparents?

Let their hearts be bloody broken.

Not your problem.

Your ex's parents don't have any right to a relationship with your child and you are under no obligation to facilitate one.

Here's a question. Are you in a position to change your phone number? What you need is a regular phone number and a very basic cheap phone with a different number which your ex can use to communicate with you.

That way you can continue to communicate with everyone else in your life without being harassed and bullied by your ex and his family.

You use your second phone to communicate with your ex in very basic terms about contact. You offer him two hours every other Saturday afternoon in your presence for now, take it or leave it, and you use that phone number only for the purposes of communicating with your ex every other Friday about whether he is going to turn up tomorrow or not. Do not make yourself or your baby available at any other time.

OP, I think you have to accept that nothing this man says is rational. Whether or not he is doing this on purpose or whether he's just entirely deluded, it's impossible to say. But you need to hold firm - he is a complete and utter ass and sadly, his family are not much better.

OP don't be manipulated by your ridiculous ex.

Tell him to get in the bin and you enjoy a lovely Christmas with your DC.

Reply with what @CharlotteUnaNatalieThompson said. He can make sense of that. Twat

Your ex pisses me off so badly!! He and his family didn't/don't want this child in the first place so making these demands for Xmas is just mad. Just tell him NO and ignore him.

This is giving me the rage! Stop letting this man and his family manipulate you.

Tell him you are willing to discuss a consistent weekly contact schedule in the new year, that can build up to him spending more time with his baby and that fits around baby’s care needs/ feeding schedule.
Then just go grey rock.

Do not reply to any more texts about Christmas. Enjoy your Christmas OP!

I agree with the poster that you don't need to do anything.

But if you want to respond I'd say "you don't want the baby, and have no interest in him the rest of the time, so why Christmas? You need to make THAT make sense"

Twat

Your ex is obviously clueless to think this would be in your child's best interest. Tell him that he needs to make the effort to build a relationship with your child before long visits away from you at Christmas or he can jog on.

Regarding his family, I do wonder if he has lied to them and they don't realise he is actually a stranger to his child. Either that or they are nuts and best avoided.

Honestly, so what. If they were that bothered they would have made some effort before, not just for Christmas Day. We’re they heartbroken last week, I guess not. Are they going to go back to ignoring you afterwards.
The baby isn’t there to validate their Christmas experience.

Say THEY can come visit over the holidays for a short time. If they don’t come that is entirely their problem.

YOU don't need to do anything except look out for your baby. He, and they, are being ridiculous. This is not about the baby or about Christmas.

You are correct - if they don't want a relationship the rest of the year, they don't get to demand the baby at Christmas. They all sound manipulative. Good that you are away from them and good that your baby is away from them. This is not a "good" family for your baby - actually the opposite.

Please do not let yourself be gaslit/guilted into doing what these unpleasant, unkind, people are demanding of you. You have offered a very fair compromise by offering for them to come and see your child on Christmas Day. If they don't take you up on it, they are clearly not interested in having a proper relationship with your child. Stick to your guns!

They clearly think babies are just for Christmas.

Don’t reward their shitty thinking by letting them have the baby, even for an hour. Ex and his family have put in zero effort to deserve any time on Christmas Day.

What are your plans for Christmas Day? Just tell you have already made plans and won’t be around.

And it’s not your job to provide ex with a travel cot or nappies or food or clothes or anything.

If I were you, I would absolutely stop encouraging a relationship between your baby and your ex and his family. They don't sound like they will bring anything positive to your baby's life at all.

Do not give in on this- you are the only person who has your baby's best interests at heart, sadly, so your baby is relaying on you to protect them and advocate for them.

I'm thinking back to when my ds now 11 was 10 months. I would no way have let a near stranger take him round the corner let alone 2 hours away from me in a car with someone who didn't have the first clue about looking after babies let alone my baby.

OP please just ignore him or keep saying no.

Dc would be so frightened & upset without you for hours as well as hungry.

Also please don't contemplate going with ex. That sounds a horrendous idea.

Your dc will have a lovely Christmas with you and some Christmas wrapping paper.

Ex can ask for contact centre next year if he's bothered x

Run, run & don't look back,

Let him go to court if he wants access.

No. HE and his parents are acting like spoilt children.

YANBU, stand firm OP.

Since she hasn't denied the father access to the child, your point has no meaning. She has EVERY right to not let her child, who is still BF, go off with a man who has barely seen the child, and has absolutely nothing owned by him to care for said child. To top it off, he wants to take the baby hours away, with no plan to feed child, no equipment to care for the child and to people who wanted the child dead in pieces parts.

If his family wants to see the child they wanted dead, they can come to where the baby is and visit.

Personally, you want my baby dead? The only time you'll see the child is with court supervised visitation. I would never trust them to not put the baby into the condition they wanted the baby to be in the first place, therefore relieving the worthless father and his disgusting family of any monetary consequences.

Well said

Babies are not just for Christmas.

He's living in la- la land to think a breast fed baby should spend 4hrs travelling time in a car on Christmas day added to the hours at his parent's house?

Tell him to jog on.