Should I leave this relationship?

Actually reading more recent posts, I don't think you even like or respect him that much, with good reason.

Lol so basically it's not a relationship it's a weekly screw for yous. Wouldn't get me doing it. And that age and got nothing not for me

Just see it for what it is, sex, some company.

If somebody else better comes as long, you can finish it. Men do this all the time.

The family members that he spends so much time with: this is his parents and siblings, rather than his kids? If so, that seems odd to me. Have you met them? Do you get along with them?

How does he have the kids mobile numbers? Get their phones and block him also the family number's he has.
I assume he's coming for Xmas dinner at your expense, sod that get rid and start 2024 afresh.

He'd message your kids with that??

I agree with this.

It doesn’t really sound like a relationship to me. He doesn’t seem to have sufficient time, space, or resources to offer a partner. Not even the security that comes with stable employment. How can he be an equal partner to anyone? If you were both in your late teens then maybe this would look reasonable, but in your 50s it’s really not.

Your are not going to neet someone else while you are spending your time with him.
Does he know you are not that in to him?
Not fair on either of you to carry on if you aren't.

Why have you never asked him why he doenst get his own home? I'm always mystified on MN that you're having sex but can't have a conversation.

If you’re going to stay with him and you enjoy his company for all of the 12 hours a week you’re with him, then at least have him cough up for a good meal out and a hotel overnight every few weeks.

Although I suspect having to actually shell out some money might dampen his enthusiasm for seeing you every Saturday.

Someone that needs looking after for a fortnight for a slight cold, is constantly freeloading and lazy and cycles through jobs would have to be really good company to put up with, and he sounds like he's outlived his purpose.

I think I'm delaying it because I know he is going to be very difficult and will bombard my kids and family to try to change my mind.

That reason alone is enough to dump him immediately. If he really would do this, that is alarming, pathetic behaviour.

Fucking hell, op, read what you have written about this man. You need to figure out why your standards are so low as to be with him for as long as your have. He is absolutely dreadful.

End it right now and ask your kids and family to block him as well. Start the new year off by moving forward.

God dump him and find someone who makes you happy! Life is already so short. Why are you letting this guy cocklodge.

You are not being shallow. He is shallow - in the sense that there is no depth to him. End it now!

(BTW I married a cocklodging man-child, whose idea of a good time in his late 50s was building Airfix models. At least he had been more interesting in his youth, or I wouldn't have married him. Eventually I saw the light and divorced him.)

Not only are you just a booty call, but he is also putting out feelers for a future cocklodgingship.

Be alert and maintain your chosen boundaries - or end it.

He'll never own his own home and that puts me in a danger zone as he is well able to make himself at home and be hard to move once he gets his feet under the table as I found out when he stayed her uninvited for two weeks as he was too Ill to go back to his house share. He had a cold

Bin.
You aren't being shallow. You are protecting yourself and your children and your financial stability.
The last thing you want is a hobosexual/cocklodger type moving in by stealth. You say you won't let him move in but some of these types are sneaky. He tested it out already by being "too ill" to go back to the house share.
It won't be long before there's some kind of issue with the house share - he falls out with the people he's living with, they want to move away, they need his room back, etcetc. or he falls out with his parents so can't go there at the weekends. In any case, he comes to you with a sob story about how he's stuck and it's just until he gets somewhere sorted.
Nothing does get sorted though (and you can see from the way he lives that he doesn't sort anything - he's just crashing with friends and not paying rent and then going to parents, also rent free). Most likely after the "accommodation emergency" which means he has to crash at yours "until he gets sorted", along comes an "employment emergency" - he loses his job, quits due to stress or bullying or some other reason, his shifts get cutback, whatever. That means he has no money to get anything sorted and you're stuck with a 50 year old unemployed cocklodger living off your back and it's really hard to get rid of him.

Anyway, apart from all that, you say you are bored with him. I would be too. It's not a relationship really. You're a Saturday night booty call where he gets fed, Netflix and a shag. Then off he pops on Sunday morning to scrounge off the next person (his parents) where he'll probably get fed, laundry done, whatever.

Just kick him to the kerb OP, you can do better than this.
And if you wanted to have friends with benefits type thing that's fine too but not with someone like this.

If you enjoy his company op and don't want anything too serious, it's not wrong to stay with him, but it sounds like you should discuss a couple things with him or see if you can get him out of the house once in a while to liven things up.

I guess my biggest concern would be messaging your kids if you don't want him too.

Why not ask him some of the questions you have, like where his money goes, why he sees his family so often? Sounds like the divorce was a setback financially, is he helping his family out with money? Lots of people do that.

Have you ever asked him to do something outside the house with you?

How and why would he "bombard" your kids? Surely your teens would be more sympathetic towards you?

Well it depends what you want; he doesn’t sound like he’s the one for a long term committed relationship and I’d be worried about the finances but if you just want sex and a bit of company then it’s perfect.

So did he go straight from his wife to a house share?

If he owns nothing and has no money to speak of, that's a big red flag. How did you meet?

also, you think he'll bombard your kids when you leave?! That's scary.