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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU about Christmas presents from work?

116 replies

Merryoldgoat · 14/12/2023 18:30

I work for a company that treats employees well imo - good pay, holiday, sickness, decent pensions. Paid for Christmas party, free lunches and we work 40 hour weeks but lunch is paid so it’s a standard 8-4 or 9-5

We don’t have a big budget for Christmas gifts - just a little token of £15 ish each.

We get a bottle of fizz and some Belgian chocolates.

The real gift is the party - three courses and booze for the whole lunch which is a nice evening, not compulsory, not ridiculously boozy and no daft enforced fun.

A lot of preamble for the main subject.

EVERY year someone complains how ‘boring’ wine and chocolates are, but has no better idea for 50 odd very mixed staff.

It’s Christmas - it’s easy to give them away if you don’t want them. It’s a token - not a symbol of value - that’s what we’re well paid for!

Full disclosure: I’m lumbered with buying. No one else wants to. I’m not buying personalised gifts for 50 people!

So

YABU - crap gift better to have nothing

YANBU - it’s not very exciting but as a small token it’s fine.

NB: non drinkers have an alcohol free option of course.

OP posts:
geckofrog · 14/12/2023 22:10

Merryoldgoat · 14/12/2023 20:56

No, I’m saying that for a £15 token gift where there is no consensus and you obviously can’t get anything especially special wine and choc is fine.

There are 50 benefitting. About 5 moan but have no reasonable alternative.

if I had a load of staff arriving at my office saying ‘vouchers would be better’ that’s one thing but they aren’t.

I literally asked them ‘would you prefer vouchers for £15?’ And they said ‘no - it’d just go in everyday stuff’.

There’s loads I would also prefer but as a token from an employer I think it’s fine.

Show quote history

I don't think wine is fine. Lots of people don't drink wine. Even people who drink other alcohol.

Those that do drink wine are often fussy and only like it when it's red or white.

Gloriousgardener11 · 14/12/2023 21:39

I’ll forward them to you 👍

Singleandproud · 14/12/2023 21:15

I think it's nice to receive a physical gift. For some people that may be the only gift they receive.

Mangolover123 · 14/12/2023 21:11

Wine and chocs lovely
Alternatively panatone and prcessco.

My mum loved it when I gifted her a stollen cake, I was given.

Vouchers would be my least favourite.

You can't make everyone happy so carry on what you are doing.

phoenixrosehere · 14/12/2023 21:06

Gloriousgardener11 · 14/12/2023 20:38

I was given four cupcakes from my boss today - now that IS a crappy present!

I would love that over wine and chocolates.

29andLost · 14/12/2023 21:04

My work (retail) gave everyone ten pounds in cash.
I was off the week they were handed out so I've been forgotten about 🥲

ActDottie · 14/12/2023 21:02

I’d be happy with fizz and chocolates I don’t what more people expect???

A possible alternative is a voucher or gift card but I think people would then probably complain about the shop isn’t where they shop or something!

Original poster
Merryoldgoat · 14/12/2023 20:58

Gloriousgardener11 · 14/12/2023 20:38

I was given four cupcakes from my boss today - now that IS a crappy present!

See - I’d like that!!

OP posts:
ThomasinaLivesHere · 14/12/2023 20:57

housethatbuiltme · 14/12/2023 20:47

OK but you don't get to tell people they are wrong because your to stubborn to listen to their valid reasoning.

Your employees are complaining... that means something IS wrong, you are dismiss that instead of listening which is just shit management.

Maybe you shouldn't be the person to do that specific job.

Show quote history

The OP just says someone complains not most or a lot of employees. I don’t think that means something is wrong. People complain about everything and there isn’t a universally liked present. People will complain that they want a physical present not a voucher or that the voucher is the wrong one.

Original poster
Merryoldgoat · 14/12/2023 20:56

geckofrog · 14/12/2023 20:49

Exactly. People aren't happy and you're just saying TOUGH SHIT. Which is not really going to improve morale and make people feel listened to.

Show quote history

No, I’m saying that for a £15 token gift where there is no consensus and you obviously can’t get anything especially special wine and choc is fine.

There are 50 benefitting. About 5 moan but have no reasonable alternative.

if I had a load of staff arriving at my office saying ‘vouchers would be better’ that’s one thing but they aren’t.

I literally asked them ‘would you prefer vouchers for £15?’ And they said ‘no - it’d just go in everyday stuff’.

There’s loads I would also prefer but as a token from an employer I think it’s fine.

OP posts:
Slothsandspiderman · 14/12/2023 20:56

Do not pander to these people. We have people where I work who complain. FFS - it’s a work day, free meal and drink, you can claim travel expenses and they still whinge!! Boils my piss

housethatbuiltme · 14/12/2023 20:55

Pottedpalm · 14/12/2023 19:56

You don’t have a single friend who eats chocolate or drinks wine? A neighbour? Postman? How weird.

Show quote history

I have a house full of cheap white wine, odd desert wines and a LOT of Champaign.

Everyone I know does too... it sort of creeps into your life, you give it to the school for xmas fayre then win a different bloody one in the raffle. You give it as a gift and it keeps getting re-gifted round until its back to you in a circle because no one wants or drinks it. I have never bought wine/champagne in my life and I swear its multiplying like a wet gremlin in my house.

I know functioning alcoholic that won't even take it.

Red wine DH will drink, Rose Prosseco I'll try a glass of to be polite (don't really like it though) but the shit that gets given/won is never anything people seem to drink.

Chocolate I could probably gift quite easy but shit wine is a pain in the ass.

Original poster
Merryoldgoat · 14/12/2023 20:53

AnUnsuitableMatch · 14/12/2023 20:34

Years ago I worked in a company where depending on your status, a certain amount of £ was taken from your November salary to buy gifts for support staff.

I was the most junior professional rank and it was about £25. More than I would spend on a family member! To buy boxes of rubbish chocolate for generally well paid staff.

If you wanted to opt out, you had to send an email to the CEO explaining why. Confused

Wtaf?!

OP posts:
Flensburg · 14/12/2023 20:51

I don't drink or eat chocolates.
I would still be very grateful for the gesture and just pass them on!

geckofrog · 14/12/2023 20:49

housethatbuiltme · 14/12/2023 20:47

OK but you don't get to tell people they are wrong because your to stubborn to listen to their valid reasoning.

Your employees are complaining... that means something IS wrong, you are dismiss that instead of listening which is just shit management.

Maybe you shouldn't be the person to do that specific job.

Show quote history

Exactly. People aren't happy and you're just saying TOUGH SHIT. Which is not really going to improve morale and make people feel listened to.

housethatbuiltme · 14/12/2023 20:47

Merryoldgoat · 14/12/2023 18:56

I disagree with you.

Show quote history

OK but you don't get to tell people they are wrong because your to stubborn to listen to their valid reasoning.

Your employees are complaining... that means something IS wrong, you are dismiss that instead of listening which is just shit management.

Maybe you shouldn't be the person to do that specific job.

ivegotthisyeah · 14/12/2023 20:43

I think any gift is a bonus!
What about a Christmas scratch card or lotto ticket ? Probs get someone moaning about encouraging gambling so you're never gonna win!
I personally would be happy with a bottle of fizz and chocs or and M&S voucher

Gloriousgardener11 · 14/12/2023 20:38

I was given four cupcakes from my boss today - now that IS a crappy present!

Walker1178 · 14/12/2023 20:37

My DP works for a very large company and gets a £15 love to shop voucher, I’m lucky to work for an amazing small company circa 20 employees and we all get a card from the boss with a £50 Amazon voucher each year. TBH with the small voucher we buy a treat, with the larger it’s usually something we need!

HunterHearstHelmsley · 14/12/2023 20:36

You're right that you can't please everyone. My workplace did Amazon vouchers this year and loads of people complained that they boycott Amazon. There's so such thing as a generic gift, unfortunately. I like Love to Shop vouchers, someone upthread hates them.

AnUnsuitableMatch · 14/12/2023 20:34

Years ago I worked in a company where depending on your status, a certain amount of £ was taken from your November salary to buy gifts for support staff.

I was the most junior professional rank and it was about £25. More than I would spend on a family member! To buy boxes of rubbish chocolate for generally well paid staff.

If you wanted to opt out, you had to send an email to the CEO explaining why. Confused

Alphabet1spaghetti2 · 14/12/2023 20:29

@Booboocars they weren’t sealed boxes of chocolates. Our local food bank absolutely refuses any and all unsealed products due to possible contamination and tampering. So in it wasteful.
I have absolutely no connections with any local school who do raffles and non of them ask for such things on neighbourhood Facebook sites. i don’t thin wandering into a random school and offering the office a half bottle of wine would be gratefully received.
it’s not being ungrateful - it’s better to have managed to return it than bin it as I normally end up doing.

geckofrog · 14/12/2023 20:29

Merryoldgoat · 14/12/2023 19:00

Well I’m fat and have an eating disorder. Chocolate not a great gift for me.

There is no perfect gift and alcoholics are either drinking or not. If they are, a Majestic bottle of cremant isn’t going to send them spiralling and if they aren’t they can choose non alcoholic option.

You cannot please everyone.

By your rationale we shouldn’t provide any alcohol at our meal out either.

Show quote history

That's why vouchers are the best idea

BusySittingDown · 14/12/2023 20:27

I would be pleased with it but I would rather have a voucher.

I once got an Amazon voucher from an employer. Was great as I could choose whatever I wanted. I bought few books.

What about M&S or vouchers for supermarket? They can choose their own fizz and chocolates, if they wish, or they could buy clothes or books or put it towards their Christmas shop?

Booboocars · 14/12/2023 20:24

Alphabet1spaghetti2 · 14/12/2023 20:16

@Merryoldgoat yes i do. This year I managed to give it back to my boss as she stayed long enough for me to open them and realise what they were. But yes, I do bin them normally. She was surprised - but understood when I explained I couldn’t use them and would just bin them otherwise.
Any gifts I can’t charity shop or hand back to the originator to reuse I just bin. Would you prefer it if I gave wine to my alcoholic neighbour?
Hence preferring a voucher.

I do say to anyone who is remotely bothered to ask, that we don’t do Christmas in any way shape or form, so would much prefer they didn’t include us in their card or gift etc exchanges. If they decide to ignore that’s then it is their problem.

Edited

That is so wasteful. Any charity or food bank would accept chocolates. I volunteer at one and they definitely do not bin them as a pp said.

Same for alcohol - most schools etc are always looking for raffle gifts.

so ungrateful.

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