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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel sad my friend got Botox?

184 replies

TinklyofLaughSingleofChin · 09/12/2023 19:35

Now her smile doesn't reach her eyes. I LOVED her smiley eyes, she had a really twinkly grin. I guess she was insecure about her crow's feet and got injections to get rid of them. And now she looks sort of wide-eyed and frozen and it just makes me sad! She doesn't look like herself any more.

She's incredibly naturally beautiful, classic Grace Kelly looks, and an amazing bone structure. So she would have aged beautifully I'm sure, without needing injectables.

I know it's none of my business really. And I'd never say anything negative to her. And I know Botox doesn't last forever and she may well not get it done again. But AIBU at feeling a little bit sad at the loss of my friend's lovely warm smile?

OP posts:
AhBiscuits · 09/12/2023 19:57

Yanbu. I missy friend's old face too.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 09/12/2023 19:56

TinklyofLaughSingleofChin · 09/12/2023 19:54

@TheYearOfSmallThings I think this is a large part of it, it's still really new and she just can't move her face as much and it's sort of deadened her a bit.

Don't worry, it will ease up a bit soon, and also you will get used to it.

ANightingale · 09/12/2023 19:55

botox, not drowned a puppy

😁

Torganer · 09/12/2023 19:55

My friends have put on weight, lost weight, had a breast reduction, had a nose job, had a drastic haircut/colour. As long as they are happy that’s all that matters surely? Can’t say I’ve mourned the loss of their boobs/bump in nose/etc.

Original poster
TinklyofLaughSingleofChin · 09/12/2023 19:54

@TheYearOfSmallThings I think this is a large part of it, it's still really new and she just can't move her face as much and it's sort of deadened her a bit.

OP posts:
Keilagh · 09/12/2023 19:54

Aw be happy for her! I see where you’re coming from but if it makes her feel more confident then so be it.

RudsyFarmer · 09/12/2023 19:53

I hate Botox. I’ve had it a few times in the past and it’s one of the things I wouldn’t get again. It makes people’s face very weird when they are animated and I understand your sadness whilst equally agreeing you should say nothing. Expression is EVERYTHING!!

TheKnittedCharacter · 09/12/2023 19:52

You sound odd. Are you really that invested in your friend's smiley eyes?

Botox is fabulous. Don't judge people who choose to have it because of how it impacts you (but obviously it doesn't impact you at all).

FuckingHellAdele · 09/12/2023 19:52

Don't be sad.

It gives you lines.

EveryOtherNameTaken · 09/12/2023 19:52

If she's happy with it, be happy for her.

cairnterriorist · 09/12/2023 19:51

What's it got to do with you?

Original poster
TinklyofLaughSingleofChin · 09/12/2023 19:50

@Floralsofa People post about loads of old shite on Mumsnet, it's not reserved solely for matters of great importance 😒

OP posts:
Rugbee · 09/12/2023 19:49

My best friend had a sticky out tooth, I loved it, was very endearing and characterful and I felt sad when she got Invisalign and straightened it out. But she is so much more happy and confident so I’m really pleased for her.
If it means something to her and you are a good friend then just be happy for her.

Floralsofa · 09/12/2023 19:49

Weird to be so bothered that you posted on MN.

Original poster
TinklyofLaughSingleofChin · 09/12/2023 19:48

Sorry, that was in response to @Bireadwhatiread ...

OP posts:
Original poster
TinklyofLaughSingleofChin · 09/12/2023 19:47

I am struggling to picture this! Can you explain more??

OP posts:
PowerhouseOfTheCell · 09/12/2023 19:46

YABU.She's had botox, not drowned a puppy. If its very recent it will take time to settle

TheYearOfSmallThings · 09/12/2023 19:46

YABU because it's just a bit of Botox and it will wear off.

But yes, communicating with someone who has just had Botox is a bit disconcerting because micro expressions they had before are absent, and some part of your mind notices the lack of response and feedback as a negative reaction.

FuckHonestlyKnows · 09/12/2023 19:46

Bireadwhatiread · 09/12/2023 19:41

It's not about you though. I mean, I have felt the same when my friends lovely large double eyelid disappeared under heavy eyebrows but I said nothing and now a few years later she is wrinkle free- they never got a chance to form.

It's their decision and their life.

What's a lovely large double eyelid??

Mangotango39 · 09/12/2023 19:45

Your friend can do whatever she wants to feel better in herself. Dont say anything to shame her!

Original poster
TinklyofLaughSingleofChin · 09/12/2023 19:44

To be clear when I say 'sad' I'm not like, sobbing and rending my clothes in anguish. Just a little pang of sadness.

OP posts:
NutellaNut · 09/12/2023 19:43

YABU. It’s not about what you think about it, it’s what your friend thinks that matters. You don’t have to have Botox if you don’t want to, but it’s up to her if she wants it.

teaandjams · 09/12/2023 19:42

What nonsense. YABU to say you're sad and then post about it on the AIBU section of Mumsnet. Some friend.

Absolutely none of your business how she chooses to deal with ageing, it is her face. Surely if she's such a great friend her appearance doesn't matter either way. Sorry but it sounds a bit creepy the part where you mourn the 'loss' of your friend's lovely warm smile. Seriously?

Bireadwhatiread · 09/12/2023 19:41

It's not about you though. I mean, I have felt the same when my friends lovely large double eyelid disappeared under heavy eyebrows but I said nothing and now a few years later she is wrinkle free- they never got a chance to form.

It's their decision and their life.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 09/12/2023 19:41

Did she ask your opinion? I think I'd have to say something similar to what you've said if she asked eg Ah, I loved your twinkly smile, and that's not really obvious anymore.