Page 3 | To feel sad my friend got Botox?

TinklyofLaughSingleofChin · 2023-12-09T19:35:03+00:00

Now her smile doesn't reach her eyes. I LOVED her smiley eyes, she had a really twinkly grin. I guess she was insecure about her crow's feet and got injections to get rid of them. And now she looks sort of wide-eyed and frozen and it just makes me sad! She doesn't look like herself any more. She's incredibly naturally beautiful, classic Grace Kelly looks, and an amazing bone structure. So she would have aged beautifully I'm sure, without needing injectables. I know it's none of my business really. And I'd never say anything negative to her. And I know Botox doesn't last forever and she may well not get it done again. But AIBU at feeling a little bit sad at the loss of my friend's lovely warm smile?

LunaTheCat · 10/12/2023 09:43

WinterDeWinter · 10/12/2023 00:03

I’ve been on here for 20 years and every year there are more and more women who assert that this stuff is empowering and ‘her choice’ and refuse to see that it’s all part of the same patriarchy that causes all the other shit things that happen to women.

yes it’s her choice. But that choice isn’t made in a vacuum, so let’s not pretend it’s liberating.

Absolutely this!

HotGirlInHell · 10/12/2023 09:31

MyUsernameIsBetterThanYours · 10/12/2023 09:27

@HotGirlInHell I said as a society, I meant on a society level rather than individual choice. If the money and resources for Botox was directed more towards healthy aging and if as a society we didn’t see wrinkles as a bad thing, do you really think so many people would spend so much money on getting rid of them?

And what vast amount of resources do you suppose 'society' is laying out on Botox right now, that would magically be redirected in the exact manner of your personal choosing?

Perfectlystill · 10/12/2023 09:29

YABVU

HotGirlInHell · 10/12/2023 09:28

Delatron · 10/12/2023 09:08

I thought that there was also research out showing that Botox uses were less stressed and felt calmer as they couldn’t frown!

It doesn’t erase all expression. I can still raise my eyebrows - I still have lines but slightly less than normal.

I’m not sure babies will suffer if their Mum’s can’t frown at them?! They can smile and have expressions.

Yes! I really relate to this actually; I know it's Botox time again when the tension headaches start again above my eyes.

But never mine me. Won't someone think of the children! Being reared by expressionless automatons such that they will never be able to understand true human emotion.

And just like that - once again women's own desires around their looks are painted as selfish.

MyUsernameIsBetterThanYours · 10/12/2023 09:27

@HotGirlInHell I said as a society, I meant on a society level rather than individual choice. If the money and resources for Botox was directed more towards healthy aging and if as a society we didn’t see wrinkles as a bad thing, do you really think so many people would spend so much money on getting rid of them?

Unwisebutnotillegal · 10/12/2023 09:27

I love the answer that make out it’s only women getting Botox, my nurse says her ratio of men to women pre pandemic was 20:80 now it’s 35:65 and growing. Maybe there are men out there hiding from their wives 😁

Delatron · 10/12/2023 09:26

I don’t know how far you can take it with that argument. I don’t wear make up for men that’s for sure. It’s because I look like I’ve just been dug up without it. So I’d wear a bit of make up to go to the supermarket, or out with girl friends. Softening a few frown lines doesn’t seem like a big deal.

Beezknees · 10/12/2023 09:25

YABU. It's very annoying when other people think they get to decide what looks better on someone else.

notlucreziaborgia · 10/12/2023 09:22

this thread reminded me to book an appt for a re-up.

I’m under no illusion that Botox makes me look like a teenager, but I do like the results. Whether anyone else likes the results or not is something I give zero fucks about tbh.

Circularargument · 10/12/2023 09:16

balmysummerevening · 10/12/2023 09:11

Also for everyone saying how is it your business if your friend got Botox. Well unobtainable beauty standards and attitudes to aging are all our business. Yes everyone is entitled to make their own decisions but at least have the self awareness to acknowledge that those decisions don’t happen in a vacuum, they add to the steady drip drip drip of pressure on women not to age

By this rationale, anyone who shaves their legs, armpits, wears makeup, dyes their hair etc is letting other women down as this is also creating an unnatural expectation of beauty. What about high heels and their effect on posture, the back, and creating bunions? All of those choices contribute towards a lack of women being allowed to be "natural" too.

Straw man argument. Poster you replied to said fuck all about letting anyone down. It's about ridiculous beauty standards.

Fwiw all those other things count too, if they are the result of pressure and fear, and a lot more of them are than the "choice feminists" choose to admit.

Circularargument · 10/12/2023 09:14

Mangotango39 · 09/12/2023 19:45

Your friend can do whatever she wants to feel better in herself. Dont say anything to shame her!

Ofgs. Keep on bowing to the Patriarchy, why don't you? If we never challenge this shit we stay enslaved to "women have to look young, we must do anything however costly and/or risky". It's such pathetic bollocks.
OP has already said she won't say anything.

Delatron · 10/12/2023 09:11

MigGirl · 10/12/2023 09:07

I don't know why anyone would get botox for wrinkles. I have to have it for medical reasons and it bloody hurts a lot, there is no way I'd do it for cosmetic reasons.

It doesn’t hurt at all on the face. I honestly don’t feel it. Profhilo though stings like a bugger.

Maybe underarms it hurts a lot more.

balmysummerevening · 10/12/2023 09:11

Also for everyone saying how is it your business if your friend got Botox. Well unobtainable beauty standards and attitudes to aging are all our business. Yes everyone is entitled to make their own decisions but at least have the self awareness to acknowledge that those decisions don’t happen in a vacuum, they add to the steady drip drip drip of pressure on women not to age

By this rationale, anyone who shaves their legs, armpits, wears makeup, dyes their hair etc is letting other women down as this is also creating an unnatural expectation of beauty. What about high heels and their effect on posture, the back, and creating bunions? All of those choices contribute towards a lack of women being allowed to be "natural" too.

Cosywintertime · 10/12/2023 09:11

God what drama lol. Over a bit of Botox.

Delatron · 10/12/2023 09:08

I thought that there was also research out showing that Botox uses were less stressed and felt calmer as they couldn’t frown!

It doesn’t erase all expression. I can still raise my eyebrows - I still have lines but slightly less than normal.

I’m not sure babies will suffer if their Mum’s can’t frown at them?! They can smile and have expressions.

Sparrow7 · 10/12/2023 09:07

I think people look at themselves in the mirror or for a photo and think they look better with Botox. but they don't don't stand there talking to themselves so they don't realize how horrible it is. So many films and TV shows now are ruined by the actresses being so wooden looking. Facial expressions are such a huge part of being human.

MigGirl · 10/12/2023 09:07

I don't know why anyone would get botox for wrinkles. I have to have it for medical reasons and it bloody hurts a lot, there is no way I'd do it for cosmetic reasons.

mangochops · 10/12/2023 09:04

ANightingale · 09/12/2023 19:37

I think you're over-reacting a bit.

This. She's had a bit of botox, not had a leg removed. Slight overreaction.

napody · 10/12/2023 09:02

Infusedwithfigandhoney · 10/12/2023 08:53

The research coming out about this is really concerning.
Botox creates changes in the brain similar to diseases like Parkinsons because of the lack of facial responses in the recipients.
Their own facial response stimulates the brain.

I was pondering what effect have a parent with botox has on children's development.
No doubt I will be told to lighten up yada yada

Show quote history

Do you have links to research on this?
I don't mean this in a challenging way, it sounds very interesting.

AhBiscuits · 10/12/2023 09:00

Infusedwithfigandhoney · 10/12/2023 08:53

The research coming out about this is really concerning.
Botox creates changes in the brain similar to diseases like Parkinsons because of the lack of facial responses in the recipients.
Their own facial response stimulates the brain.

I was pondering what effect have a parent with botox has on children's development.
No doubt I will be told to lighten up yada yada

Show quote history

This is a good point which I'd never really thought about. Tiny babies are fascinated by faces, it must make a difference if those faces don't move in a natural way and are less expressive.

Cas112 · 10/12/2023 08:55

FuckingHellAdele · 09/12/2023 19:52

Don't be sad.

It gives you lines.

😂😂

HotGirlInHell · 10/12/2023 08:54

MyUsernameIsBetterThanYours · 10/12/2023 07:29

@FuckHonestlyKnows

”Why 'should' we celebrate aging? I don't fucking want to look older, get older, act older. I'm happy sticking where I am thanks.”

Maybe because we’re all going to look older, get older, act older and none of us has a hope of sticking where we are? So a society in which aging was at least accepted would make that inevitable process much easier!

It would be sooo much more beneficial if the time and money and focus we poured into erasing the visible effects of aging as society were instead dedicated to keeping our bodies and minds healthy as we age. With the focus being on ageing well, rather than not ageing.

I don’t think it’s sanctimonious or judgmental to want that or to talk about the unrealistic pressure on women especially.

Why is it either/ or though?

Or do you think people who get Botox are so focused on those 4- monthly injections that take three minutes that we have no brain space left to think about aging healthily?

Psyberbaby · 10/12/2023 08:54

Cba reading 5 pages: did we ever get the double eyelid expression?!

I don't know why people are so obsessed with "perfecting" their looks to the point of erasing quirks that can actually be really alluring. My sister is really pretty and has a very very slight overbite that gives her smile something slightly childlike and goofy. It's very charming IMO. These are the little details that make people magnetic.

Alohapotato · 10/12/2023 08:54

Not your business. You sound jealous

Infusedwithfigandhoney · 10/12/2023 08:53

TheYearOfSmallThings · 09/12/2023 19:46

YABU because it's just a bit of Botox and it will wear off.

But yes, communicating with someone who has just had Botox is a bit disconcerting because micro expressions they had before are absent, and some part of your mind notices the lack of response and feedback as a negative reaction.

The research coming out about this is really concerning.
Botox creates changes in the brain similar to diseases like Parkinsons because of the lack of facial responses in the recipients.
Their own facial response stimulates the brain.

I was pondering what effect have a parent with botox has on children's development.
No doubt I will be told to lighten up yada yada