Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am i being petty

37 replies

redreb · 09/12/2023 19:04

I cook all meals.
The odd time i might tell dh i cant be bothered but he will only cook a basic goujons & chips dinner.

If i dont want to cook, i wait a little while then i give in and suggest a takeaway because hes not said anything.

Tonight i told him i dont want to cook, hes not gotten up to cook, im starving and now im just waiting it out. (Kids fed btw)

Tbh i want to see how long it will take him.

I feel annoyed that feeding us is my responsibility.

Considering i do it 98% of the time i would appreciate some sort of ownership from him as to what we are going to have if i dont want to cook.

Aibu, do i starve and see what happens or just suggest something? As per usual!

OP posts:
dastidlydaschel · 09/12/2023 19:25

Yes you're being petty. Try having an actual conversation like an adult and negotiate him cooking a proper meal once a week. Just not having anything to see how long he waits to suggest takeaway is stupid.

In most households people assume roles over time. My DH does all the laundry. If he stopped doing it suddenly it'd take me a while to notice. If he said to me "please could you put a load on at weekends" I'd say yes of course I can.

You've over time assumed the role of cook. If you want that to change you need to speak up.

BloodandGlitter · 09/12/2023 19:25

I'd need at least 24 hours notice if I was expecting someone else to cook, then was told I was to cook instead. It's time to defrost meat and check what we have in. I do the same for DH, he gets at least 24-hour notice, or we cook for ourselves or order take out.

TeaKitten · 09/12/2023 19:24

Just talk to him about it and tell him to cook more, or when you cook for the kids cook more for the 2 of you.

EveryKneeShallBow · 09/12/2023 19:22

Does nobody converse with their partner like adults? Use your words. Say I’m not cooking tonight. There’s xyz in the fridge, will you please cook that or your choice?

Torganer · 09/12/2023 19:20

If my husband was the main cook and he decided he didn’t want to one evening, then I’d probably get a takeaway too. I love cooking, but I do the online shop so I know what I want to cook and have the ingredients. I’d be a bit annoyed if it was sprung on me one evening. Why don’t you speak to him about it and take it in turns, but give him the opportunity to shop and cook what he’d like?

GrumpyOldCrone · 09/12/2023 19:20

If you were going to cook tonight, what would you make? Can he make the same thing?

Christmasss · 09/12/2023 19:17

Just do yourself a salad, omelette, jacket potato etc and leave him to sort himself out.

Coldsore · 09/12/2023 19:15

What do you cook for the children? Why don’t you just cook more of that and eat it with them/later if you want to? (This applies to him too)

Original poster
redreb · 09/12/2023 19:10

@Jonismorf im home with the baby he works full time.

OP posts:
44PumpLane · 09/12/2023 19:10

Just say to him "I'd like you to sort dinner tonight, but I don't want takeout or goujons so can you please sort something as I'm quite hungry"

Jonismorf · 09/12/2023 19:07

Do you both work full-time?

Tothemoonandbackx · 09/12/2023 19:06

Just let him know you'd like him to cook, and what you'd like.