Am i being petty

Well, you’re home with a baby while he works FT so I would expect you to cook all the time. You have more time than him. If you don’t feel like cooking sometimes then have meals in the freezer ready to go. Or buy filled pasta and sauce for an evening for a super quick not really cooking easy meal. Sitting there passive aggressively is ridiculous.

I think you need a a conversation and a plan. I think it's best to come to an agreement before hand rather than on the evening. Like you cook Monday to Friday and he cooks at the weekend. And tell him that you don't want gounons or take away.

@ZenNudist "I'm the main cook but when I want DH and DC to sort out tea I leave instructions and something fully or semi prepared."

So you cook every single meal eaten in your house. Blimey.

I'm the main cook but when I want DH and DC to sort out tea I leave instructions and something fully or semi prepared.

They can put a bit of salad on a plate though. Maybe add the breaded goujons to salad as a step up to healthy.

Then teach him to hard boil eggs and add to salad.

Salad is you friend here as its a no cook assembly job.

I get those pasta and sauce in for dh/dc as all you do is boil for 2 mins and micro sauce for 3.

Buy a pre cook lasagna from lidl or aldi. Salty and UPF but easy. Bag of rocket with some chopped cherry tomatoes and splash of balsamic vinegar is easy accompaniment.

Caesar salad is another easy assembly with pre cooked chicken.

I make pasta bakes which do for at least 2 meals. Ditto shepherd's pie but its not as easy.

Yes this is incredibly petty, I can’t believe you’re both sitting there hungry and not talking. Bloody hell.

just use your words, have a wider discussion, I do not wish to cook every night. Here is the division of roles. Do you agree. Have a conversation.

Your strategy is a quite passive-aggressive way of dealing with the problem.

Wouldn't be better to sit down, have a proper discussion and try to plan week ahead who is cooking?

Takeaway?

Does that mean that being the wohp you can then say, 'my salary is only towards the dc, you need to sort yourself out for mortgage and share of bills'?

Why does being a SAHM mean that you are the permanent cook and bottle washer?? That is some self appointed handmaid shit right there. No. Being a SAHM means you focus on the child not the man-child.

Ugh he’s a manchild expecting his mum to feed him.

Just tell him he needs to sort himself out and make something for yourself.

What happened in the end?

If he’s not a confident cook and you usually make the dinner, it’s not reasonable to suddenly announce “you’re cooking dinner tonight because I can’t be arsed”.

It’s not unreasonable to ask him to step up but just before dinner is not the time to do it.

As your the stay at home parent I'd expect you to cook why just sit their and say nothing why should he know your not in the mood to do it ?
Why didn't you eat with the kids surely you could have?

I'm the cook in my house always have been if I can't be bothered I tell my other half let's get a takeaway or I'll throw a pizza in the oven cause its easy

Treat yourself to a lovely dinner out with friends. 🥰

“I don’t fancy cooking tonight. Will you do something or shall we get a takeaway?”

like adults.

I'm a SAHM and I do all the cooking (and the food shop but I do it online, in peace when DC are asleep). I write a meal plan so I know what I'm cooking every evening and don't have to think about it. Most of the time I like to cook from scratch but I do have stuff in the freezer that I can cook when I can't be bothered like pasta with stir in sauce and garlic bread, fish and chips that just need to chucked in the oven for 20 minutes. If you're a SAHM I don't think it's unreasonable that most of the cooking is down to you. Hand the baby to DH though, if they're still up, DH hasn't seen them all day!

Tell him he needs to cook on weekends and you’ll cook weekdays. If he won’t cook, just feed yourself every day.

If he works full time and you're a sahm I'd kind of expect the cooking to be on you. But give and take somewhere. Just speak up. If you do the cooking how does he know you don't want to tonight? I do the cooking and occasionally I just say to my DH would you mind cooking tonight I'm a bit done in, job done.

You need to have a simple conversation. For example
You - what shall we have for dinner this evening? It's your turn to cook.

Simple.

If you're a SAHM I would expect most of the cooking to fall to you tbh. If you don't fancy cooking one night just tell him!

Repeat after me
”Darling, can you please sort us some dinner tonight”

while i think he should do more, it's not a good move to wait and expect him to know you aren't going to cook. You need to be clear in advance, with enough warning, for him to think about what to cook

More openness would help here.

I cook nearly all our meals, sometimes I can't be arsed so I say to my Dh

I can't be arsed to cook, we were going to have paella but I just don't want to do it so you can cook that or something else

And he then cooks that or something else!

What do the children eat? Do you not eat with them?

I guess if you cook most of the time then it’s not something that is necessarily going to be on his mind to be thinking ahead to.
You just need to communicate to him that you don’t want to cook every night. Why don’t you suggest that he cooks dinner on a Wednesday every week? Then he has time to think of something to make each week. I imagine if you tell him you don’t want to cook tonight then he’s just throwing something together. At least if he knows ahead of time that he’ll be cooking then he can make something nicer than goujons.