To be bothered by how easy things can be for some

I’ve experienced both worlds, from a low income background, lots of siblings, everything very stretched. My parents worried about money every day, had barely enough and worked to the bone. My very long term OH comes from a very wealthy background, private schools, fancy holidays, big houses etc. The meeting of those 2 worlds when I was younger was a strange experience and took me a long time to adjust to.

I am feeling very blessed that I am now also in a comfortable financial situation (SAHM and partner high earner) however we are very conservative with money. I wouldn’t ever wish to be in my parents situation and it puts everything in perspective and helps me to feel grateful every single day. I find it hard spending money and letting go as I think it’s been drummed into me to be so careful, save, what if we can’t pay the bills etc. Of course I have friends who have inherited a lot, been given huge deposits etc. In the end my partner didn’t get this either as parents wealth took a nosedive. I didn’t have material wealth but I was given an incredible amount of love and support and my parents are amazing.

Stop comparing.

Enjoy making your house, your home for your family.

I've bought four do-er uppers in a row, because they were what I could afford in each place. I've then spent years sorting them out. Cleaning & decorating them myself, taking pride in my achievements. I love see the warm decent home emerge from the mess that I start with.

Your rich friend won't have that satisfaction.

And anyway, all you see is the surface. You have no idea how happy people are behind the 'show'.

I get this feeling sometimes, comparison is the thief of joy n all that, but still the envious thoughts come.

It comes down to being truly happy with what you do have and possibly turning the envy into a productive plan. Where you sacrifice some ££ to save to improve another area. So you are actively doing something about it?

Tricky though… everyone wants more….

Is incredibly true .It's difficult not to envy others but we only see parts of everyone's life .

Maybe she envies you, you have no idea really. I have a nice house and two cars and I know my friends are jealous. But they don’t realise I’d give anything to switch places. One is very beautiful, two are married to someone they’re in love with, and none of them have the health issues I struggle with every day. I can’t imagine how wonderful it is to be attractive and healthy and married to someone you’re in love with. I’d happily give up my house in exchange for love.

Sorry but I hate this type of logic where people with blessed lives from the outside, must be counterbalanced by some hideous secret or appalling tragedy in order for "normies" to feel good about themselves.

This is the best response I've seen. Some people just have a much better time than us on earth. Some of those reasons will be our doing, some of them won't be, ie generational wealth, but you can't get around it. I know how the OP feels, I've been there myself. Myself and my DH had to forgo opportunities early on as we had a rough ride as new parents with one thing after the other. Our children are both in school now but we're behind compared to our peers and of course I am sick of counting every Penny and borrowing from Peter to pay Paul when I have people around me that really aren't. But I'm not really sat at home hoping or assuming that they're miserable or infertile. I am just letting myself feel that way for a hot minute and then pulling my socks up and carrying on with a life in which I do have many blessings.

It's not bitter. It's realistic. We are very happy. We also look very happy. We have two decent incomes from good jibs we enjoy, a lovely child, a happy life, own our own home in a nice area. We love and respect each other and we enjoy spending time as a family. But. As all families/couples/peoples do, we have our share of rain in amongst our sun. We've lost people we love. Cost of living has hit us. We've lost a pregnancy. Our much loved cat got rushed into emergency surgery that cost us a fortune and we're still waiting on the insurance coming back to stop our savings pot being at the bottom.

We're still happy. We wouldn't change our life other than the fact that like everyone we'd like to not have any money worries. We are aware we're lucky in comparison to some and that others have more luck and material stuff than us. Don't care. We're happy. But we still have shit to deal with like everyone.

I think this is a common feeling. We feel it too. We live in a wealthy area but are on a low income so see people around us having, what seems like, a much easier time of it. It's difficult to not feel envious.

In our immediate few houses there's a woman who inherited a house so is mortgage free (we won't inherit anything) so works a little bit part time for pocket money, a couple who inherited a very successful business so run that but it's established and they are very wealthy from it, a couple who won a substantial sum on the lottery, a woman who doesn't work because she home schools which is financed by her wealthy ex so spends her time at festivals and events with her child, a family who inherited land so live off the rents from it. I'm sure all of these people have struggles but they often ask if we are joining in with X event and we simply say "no. We're at work". It's difficult to watch them have so much leisure time.

You see it ALL the time on here! Maybe they’re in an unhappy marriage, maybe it’s all on credit and they’re up to their eyes in debt, maybe there are health struggles you are not aware of…..or, just maybe, it’s all as fabulous and glamorous as it looks!! Why do people do that? It sounds so bitter….

Everyone feels like this at times. I find it helps to remind myself that what someone else has will have no impact on my life. And also that when you compare , it's with your internal feelings to their external facade.

BS. There just literally is no point comparing yourself to other people because you'll either wonder why you don't have something or wind up feeling guilty that you do. Just live and love your own life.

And everyone does have shit to deal with. It's just all relative.

A house near me has done up to the most stunning spec. Ours, same house, is the same as the day we got it. It’s a young couple. They obviously have good jobs (and / or financial help). Good luck to them! They’ve ripped out the entire place & started from scratch. It’s gorgeous! We can’t even afford a lick of paint, but our home is cosy… (messy!)

You obviously are being unreasonable but I do understand..
However I sometimes look at everything I have and wonder why I have it so good.. why aren't I in gaza worrying about my kids being in an explosion, or having to walk miles for water in an African country or in living in North korea!!
Life is very random and often cruel..
But even the privilege I live in compared to others round the world hasn't protected me from all of life's hardships and pain.. I've had loved ones drop dead, I've been raped and beaten... you wouldn't see me posting about all that on social media or casually bringing it up in convo with people I barely know... so you might never know..
I doubt these people you envy have the perfect lives you think they do. They may have some wonderful things in their life but so do you!! Everyone has their joy and pain. Don't get wrapped up thinking how much better anyone has it when you don't really know. Focus on the joys of your own life of which it sounds like there are many

Put your bitterness & envy to one side for a moment, OP, & look on the bright side. You and your family could be in Gaza instead of the nice safe U.K…

When I saw your thread title I was thinking how much I relate becsue I struggle my way through most days due to autism and ADHD but then I read the OP and it's just materialism.

Be grateful OP, be grateful.

Its easy to feel this way, I think we all do at times but the truth is that everybody struggles in life at times, everybody suffers and experiences profound loss. I was admiring and even feeling a little envious of the lovely Hannah Fry recently, she seems to have it all beauty, charm, intelligence, success, I looked her up and saw that she had been ill and suffered awful consequences to the surgery she had to treat her cancer. I would never know that just to look at her and its the same with anyone. I think its best just to foster compassion and realise that ultimately we are all human and all in the same boat in many ways, that and appreciate what you do have.

From your OP what sticks out to me is you don’t like your house, if you can home everyday and liked your surroundings I bet you wouldn’t feel so disgruntled, can you work on improving that?

Somewhere out there, there is someone who would love to have the life you have. Two lovely kids, a husband and a home.

Try to think of it that way.

Everyone has different problems and challenges. Focus on what brings you joy and stop dwelling on what other people are doing.

you can always find anecdotal examples of unhappy rich people, but it’s hardly like you can’t also point to unhappy people less better off.

Generally, greater wealth correlates to greater happiness. When you consider that having money takes away the stresses associated with struggling to make ends meet/reach life goals then it’s hardly surprising.

I do believe that some people do indeed want to believe that there is some form of karmic balance at play, and that better off people should be paying for their good fortune with personal misery, and those poorer must really have the better deal. Wishful thinking, I suppose.

If it’s any consolation, I’m independently wealthy and have never needed to work. Yet my little boy died this year and now I can’t have any more biological children.

Well, I think you appreciate what you have more if you earned it. In fact neuroscience has proved this to be true.

I don't think it's that. It's knowing that having material things doesn't protect you from the worst life can dish out. Also observing how quickly easy and good lives can get thrown into catastrophe. Just not knowing what is around the corner for everyone is enough for me to not envy anyone.

My life currently material wise, I cope at 61, divorced live with cat, great.
early retirement as Parkinson’s, yes I’d love things to change, just today a maintenance plan with oesopath and aqua fit