To not take DD (3) to ballet

Don't panic, lots of children join at school age. Just be aware if she likes it it can be be a slippery slope...

I've got 3 DC who dance, and despite not being a "Dance Mom" it's really time and money consuming! If they get even semi-serious about it, there's uniforms, exams, costumes for shows etc If they join the competition team then you are running all over the place, spending a small fortune on more costumes etc! At least 3/4 evenings a week revolve around dance (For my eldest 4.15 to 7.30 as she does Tap, Ballet, Modern, Acro, Musical Theatre, as well as Body Conditioning and Pointe classes).

Your mistake was actually getting out of the car😁

I usually brought a flask of tea and a book.

I don't think you are unreasonable to say no for the time being.
Chances are she is going to have some kind of hobby in the future that will require you to prioritise your DD's activities over other things. If you were refusing to ever consider that it would be very unreasonable but you're not, and it doesn't have to start at 3.
There's one big thing in favour of dancing though...it happens almost exclusively indoors. Once I started having to get up at death o'clock at weekends to stand in semi darkness by freezing cold sports pitches I began to actively enjoy waiting outside after school ballet classes!

It's absolutely fine to not take her. I can't believe some of these responses!

Buy her a tutu and some ballet shoes and pop a kids ballet tutorial on YouTube at a time that suits you. Or just put some ballet music on and let her dance round the living room because you may well find that's actually what she wants rather than attending a weekly, formal ballet class.

She'll love it if you join in or if you've got friends with similar aged kids let them have a 'ballet class' and do it together.

There's loads on YouTube from lockdown/ones they use in nurseries.

I wouldn't take her in the circumstances, where is the 1yo in this? As people have said just do ballet at home. Baby ballet type classes is nothing you couldn't do at home (I know as my DD did two lots of 3 week trials aged 2.5 and 3.5). By the time she's in school she may well prefer to do a different activity anyway. My 5yo does swimming lessons and performing arts classes, both at the weekend. One is right in the middle of a day too which is really annoying.

She's 3! It's not important at her age. Wait until she starts school. You'll be tied to a schedule for long enough. Enjoy the bit of freedom you have before school starts.

And I say all that as a parent whose dc all had multiple activities the whole way through school. Dd started ballet when she started school and continued until 18. She also did competitive swimming alongside that until age 14 and dabbled in other activities along the way too.

Once they start school, I would say the best thing is to allow them to try out multiple activities. My only stipulation was if they started they had to finish out the term/year depending on what made sense.

Start her when she’s 5

Looking back at my kids growing up the one thing I wish we had done a lot less of is scheduled activities. I would definitely say if it doesn’t work for you don’t do it.

Dd dances, she started at 3 still dances at 16. It's her whole social life and she has many close friends she wouldn't have made otherwise.. But her class was 9am Saturday at that age.. The baby's class still is, her age dance at 1630. I.would leave for now but be warned if she starts dance or another hobbies days out and travel at weekends will be limited. TBH as they start school most want to chill at weekends too. Her friends won't necessarily be your friends kids and thing will change.

I honestly cannot see anything extra special your DD will get from doing this class right now that she is not already getting. You have a lovely week with lots of socialising and freedom to change right now. Don't feel you have to change it.

I did a couple of classes with DC1 when similar age and they were nice for us because we were free at the relevant time, they did not make long lasting friendships and whilst their balance and flexibility probably had some benefit, it was nothing they wouldn't have gotten doing other things.

Enjoy all the things you mentioned about preschool years before you are driven by routines, schedules and school holidays.

I would not take her to ballet.

1. I would resent having to clock watch on my one day in the week I didn't have to, and instead enjoy going out or not going out.
2. I would likely regret having that commitment at the w/e - right in the middle of the day. For one hour. For something that's not that important.
3. These pre-school years when you can see family out of school time soon whizz by, I'd make the most of them.
4. This 1 hour isn't going to give her something she can't get elsewhere. If she's going to be a keen dancer she'll take it up just as easily when she's at school.

This is my opinion and is based on my experience of working 4 days a week for the pre-school years for DS2. I worked full time with DS1. I have such fond memories of our Monday - just me and him. With me working the other days and often us being busy at w/e, I really valued that quieter time. With 2 at home it won't be quite the same, but still precious IMO.

I'm with you OP. A lot of research says children need more free play rather than structured classes.
www.scientificamerican.com/article/unstructured-play-is-critical-to-child-development/
https://www.thegeniusofplay.org/genius/expert-advice/articles/the-decline-of-unstructured-play.aspx

We all have families and friends etc but doing sports with children of your daughters age is important, she would make local friends plus learning responsibility, be on time and learn physical skills as balance, flexibility etc.. ballet at that age is only 45 minutes usually after school time. I know is your only day off but is something your daughter will enjoy. Mine did at that age!

Really at your DDs age the only real point of ballet class is social interaction with other children and it sounds as though you are already doing plenty of this.
You could do some dancing at home from utube which she would probably enjoy as much as formal classes.
There is a lot of pressure on parents to take children to organized activities, but family time and playing with friends is just as valuable.
My children who are adults now where never all that keen on sports and our weekends were family time rather than children's activities.

My dd went to ballet at 3. She enjoyed going and I was a sahm so it was easy for me to fit it in, but to be honest, most of it was just skipping about in a pink skirt. She carried on, at a couple of different dance schools until she was about 7. That said, I can understand your point of view OP and agree that seeing your sister and friends with similar aged children is far better way to spend your time. Your dd can still do ballet, and advance as far as she wants to with it, if she waits until she is at school.

What are you going to do about weekend sports then? In term time loads of dc play sport or do music or dance, as mine did, on a Saturday. You do need to prioritise children after a while. Its what parents do. You don’t need to at 3 though.

There’s years and years where she can go to ballet, the time with your sister you won’t get back

This. No wonder there are so many entitled kids around when people think parents should cater to their kids every whim.

My DSD does gymnastics and dancing after school. She used to play football on a Sunday afternoon and it was a bit of a pain as we had to plan other activities around football on a Sunday. It's much better to have the weekends commitment free and do hobbies on weekdays.

Don't beat yourself up over this. She is only 3 . Next week she may want to go to gymnastics or be a fireman. You decide what best suits you and your schedule, she will follow you. It is not like your alternative is a terrible time for her.
If she still says she wants to to ballet when she is 4 , AND you can manage it , then by all means do it.
I might sound harsh but I feel strongly that mothers put so much unnecessary pressure on themselves. Not every expressed wish needs to be fulfilled immediately.

If you are otherwise busy with family and friends, I would prioritise that right now and start ballet when she is school age. Yes it is a nice thing to do but in no way essential when so young if she is otherwise active and seeing lots of other people.

Since DC started school, I made a point of ensuring they could try as many activities as possible and now focus on the ones they love most. As a result, we are out most days for one or both of their activities nI look back wistfully at the evenings and weekends we were free to see family/go for dinner and just generally relax in their preschool years but they get so much more out of it now

It's not just carving out an hour though is it. The whole day revolves around the ballet class. If you go for a day out it has to be cut short to rush home to get ready for ballet and get there for 3pm.

I think having the whole weekend free to visit family every week will become unrealistic as they grow. In reality me and everyone I know ended up ferrying around for ballet/football on a Saturday to some extent