Is this really what mum life is?

Sounds about right to me

It's much more fun when they're toddlers I think though

Pregnant with 3rd. We can’t afford a cleaner, so your life sounds lovely tbh and I definitely look back on time with DD1 now with wistful longing 😂 a hindsight phenomenon but you are INCREDIBLY mobile/agile with just one to manage—I imagine you likely still get ‘nap breaks’? Try if you can to make the most of it! Go out for a coffee/to the shops/to see Christmas lights—just one pushchair to manage! Bliss!

I cleared and cleaned the dining table eight times today.

drinks, snacks, meals, crafts, colouring, glue dots - just carnage throughout the day.

it will get easier but there are days which make you just want to think of excuses to get out of the house. 😂

today I asked if anybody wanted to help me clean the bathroom upstairs. Selective deafness and I went for a 30 minute nap whilst they avoided upstairs in case I gave them ‘jobs’

Wait until you have two of them on your hands, that’s when the fun really starts 😵‍💫

If we could skip to the Disney film Sundays and Biff Chip and Kipper reading books, I think I'll be better at this!

We are just getting to this stage now. It's the best It's been so far. It's exhausting but much less tedious. Our house is still never tidy though (we work full time too). 2 very energetic boys.

The grabbing stuff and wrecking your house and chucking food around gets easier. Quite fast too! And then just when you get comfy, along comes potty training 😂😬

After a lot of analysis, I find that what I actually need is not a different baby/house/routine etc etc. What I need is time to myself. Alone. With no other humans nearby 😂

This ^
Except 0-2 years was hard for me and after that it's getting better incrementally. Although I'm scarred from so hard it was and it's put me off another for a while.
Balancing work is so hard with a child

I really feel for you, it is not easy.

I think, to survive the early days, you have to set yourself up for success and make your life as problem-free as possible. So, instead of chasing him round the house, close the door so he’s confined to one room and make sure it’s safe. Instead of him throwing food, feed it to him. Maybe try putting him to bed earlier if you’re not getting the chance to have a bath.

Are you swamped with toys and clothes?

Could you declutter or try toy- rotation so fewer items are out?

Do you find it impossible to relax unless everything is done? I know some people do.

For me, a solo bath after a day wrangling a mobile baby would be more important than anything and I would take it (or any other smallish non-parenting decompression activity).

Either lower your standards (see above re: knowing not everyone can do this) or grt your dh to facilitate regularly for your wellbeing which is important.

I found 7/8 months - 18 months grim (when in the house - out and about I loved it!) Couldn’t be in the house with her because she just pulled things out, made mess and it was a constant cycle of feed, clean up, clear up mess, repeat. At 18 months she could suddenly tell me what she wanted, played with toys more than the spice jar drawer and could even put rubbish in the bin / feed the dog / fetch me my slippers. Life changing! Hang on in there!!

I don’t really remember it being a huge issue. Babies/small kids can be messy, when dd2 was about 2 her and her friend used to have almost daily toothpaste fights in the bathroom!! But I just never remember it being such a big deal. I didn’t have a cleaner or a dog walker, but I did only work evenings when the DC were small and I was only in my early 20s so had loads of energy. Now late 30s and not sure if cope so well now, despite being fit and active.

I feel like you've just described how I felt... and still feel some days
It's like a never ending pursuit, chasing my tail, bottom of the pecking order feeling.

Endlessly doing jobs with baby clinging to me/wanting to be carried/out to run errands, clean, tidy, do a part time job and then parent and be a partner. It's ALOT. But it does go in ebs and flows now. Same as you- my partner chips in where he can around a very demanding job.

Baby is 14 months old. Some days are better than others and as she gets older and understands more it's all becoming more... tolerable? I don't know if that's the right word? I LOVE being a mum - but it's doing EVERYTHING ELSE around it that's the hard bit for me.

Well no, mum life changes and adapts as your children grow and change too. You're less than a year in. There's lots of time left for things to feel less intense and the housework won't seem so important when you find your rhythm. You're also just back at work which is another change so give yourself some slack. The first 5 years were the hardest in my opinion. Now they're high school age there's different struggles but overall it is much, much simpler! I have confidence in my abilities and me and hubby work as a proper team. You'll get there. Just give it time.

Get cupboard locks for everything too before DS pulls out every single thing you own 300 times a day

You just need a system so things are routine not always a "oh shit I forgot..."

Keep the nursery bag on a hook next to the clothes airer/washing machine so things go straight out and new things in again.

Batch cook meals and freeze in 10 month old portions and buy frozen veg so you just zap the meal for a few mins in the microwave.

Get a mobile play pen, move it around the house with you.

Put a play pen/gate around the Xmas tree.

Set up subscribe and save shops on Amazon so things you need just arrive when you need them.

I found the first year the hardest my girl is two next week and this year hadnt beeen so hard and I’m hoping next year will be even better mentally. I suffer with anxiety and depression and I really did struggle with the change in the first 12 months so it may be the same for you! I’m hoping so and you’ll soon feel and seee it for the beautiful thing that it is and can be ❤️ Don’t beat yourself up about it we’ve all felt it from time to time and probably will again! Xx

Your expectations are too high. The house may be untidy but it's clean so it doesn't matter. Try to have a sort out so there is less for DS to get into. It won't get much better for a long time yet so focus on enjoying motherhood and not viewing it as a chore.

Try and make life easier for yourselves. Do your food shopping online, batch cook so you’re not cooking every day, declutter so there’s less stuff around. Don’t worry too much about having a tidy house.

I can’t relate to the packing/unpacking nursery bag issue - isn’t it just shoving clean clothes in there and then once they’re dirty putting them in the laundry basket? Or do you have to pack lots of other things too?

I found around that age pretty miserable tbh and probably the worst age, it was all so tedious and she did nothing. My daughter has just turned 2 and I love being a mum so much. Hang in there!

I read this as a mum of four and think wistfully of the days when I just had one, and she was a little toddler, and life was so much simpler and easier.

Mountain out of a molehill? Yeah, I think so. It's one if those things you won't realise until you look back tho.

Yep and the answer is basically lower your expectations! And ideally get some help/time to yourself.

Sorry OP it is all basically incredibly tedious. You could stick with one kid and then you'll be out of it in a few years when they go off to pre school.

Honestly, 10 - 18 months was the hardest for me. They're mobile, willful, no sense of danger, and no way of telling you what they want. It foes get easier I promise. Mine are 4 and 5 now and life has calmed down a bit.