Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think you should feed guests if you've invited them

386 replies

Lizziebest · 02/12/2023 14:52

Visiting in laws today on a planned visit initiated by them. ILs are a bit odd about food and seem to eat tiny portions only in allocated slots e.g don't do lunch but breakfast at 7am and dinner at 6pm with coffees in between. When I've mentioned this being odd in the past they offer the thinnest sandwich I've ever seen so have given up trying to explain I think this is bonkers.

Usually I manage this by eating a lot before going but with a toddler and a baby I didn't eat any breakfast this morning. DH prepared all of the toddlers lunch and I didn't ask him to pack me anything. We arrived at 2. I'm starving. DH doesn't think this is weird and doesn't eat a lot himself but is happy to buy me food before and after. Sorely tempted to eat the left overs from toddlers fruit lunch and snacks.

Is it rude to pop out to the high street eat something and come back.

Aibu to think you feed people who you invite over?

I'm also breastfeeding!!

OP posts:
SiennaMillar · 02/12/2023 14:59

YANBU. I went on hols with ILs. They eat breakfast at 8am and dinner at 10pm. NOTHING in between and no shops. I was dizzy with hunger! I had to steal stuff from the breakfast buffet to save for lunch

Original poster
Lizziebest · 02/12/2023 14:58

TerrysChocolateOrange · 02/12/2023 14:54

If you are BFing then I would expect you to be responsible for your own snacks, you know that they have small appetites.

Yes you're right. My sister said the same when I text her. There's such a weird vibe around eating previously I've had to secretly eat while feeding the baby and hidden wrappers in my pockets.

Maybe I feel weird about it because they are v thin and I'm not.

OP posts:
DelphiniumBlue · 02/12/2023 14:57

"DH, breastfeeding makes me so hungry, can you get me something to eat? sandwich or toast and tea will be fine, thanks."

AllEars112232 · 02/12/2023 14:57

Nothing rude about going out and buying your own food. Your know what their eating habits are, just take care of your own needs rather than expect them to change their routine.

thedamnseason · 02/12/2023 14:56

NoWordForFluffy · 02/12/2023 14:55

I wouldn't feed people who arrived at 2, unless they were also staying for dinner. 2pm is after lunch (notwithstanding the fact they don't eat it). I might offer a warmed mince pie at this time of year, but otherwise it's not a time I'd expect my guests to be expecting food to be provided.

You definitely feed guests who you've invited over at a mealtime, however.

If people were visiting me I'd at least have some cake or nice biscuits.

Loafordeath · 02/12/2023 14:55

I would feed guests who were there over a mealtime. I probably wouldn't think to offer food at 3pm to someone who arrived at 2pm.

I'd like to think this might be different for a breastfeeding mother but it's easy to forget what that's like. They sound weird.

thedamnseason · 02/12/2023 14:55

Obviously it's fucking weird but you knew that so you should have taken snacks or gone after lunch/stopped on the way.

NoWordForFluffy · 02/12/2023 14:55

I wouldn't feed people who arrived at 2, unless they were also staying for dinner. 2pm is after lunch (notwithstanding the fact they don't eat it). I might offer a warmed mince pie at this time of year, but otherwise it's not a time I'd expect my guests to be expecting food to be provided.

You definitely feed guests who you've invited over at a mealtime, however.

WhereIsBebèsChambre · 02/12/2023 14:55

Go and get yourself food
"Well I've missed so popping to get something, anyone else? No? Byeeee!'
Would they eat lunch at yours if served or out if you were paying? Remember a similar thread, with inlaws who did this at home, but were gannets elsewhere/if someone else paid!

Iloveacurry · 02/12/2023 14:55

Go out and get something to eat! Better still, send your DH.

TerrysChocolateOrange · 02/12/2023 14:54

If you are BFing then I would expect you to be responsible for your own snacks, you know that they have small appetites.